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No. No. No. It had happened too many times before. And she was not going to let it happen again; he was not going to fall asleep. She grasped a lump of his skin between her thumb and forefinger, and squeezed. There was a low murmur of protest, and then nothing. Another harder squeeze was necessary. There was a louder murmur and then a barely discernible string of mutterings.

“You promise,” she said bitterly, “Dave, wake up, I want go paradise, too.”

“I’ve got to get up at seven, Jow.”

“Never mind, you can still sleep more than six hour.”

He rolled over and grimaced at her, but there was also a look of resignation on his face. And so, an hour later he was snoring gently and she was feeling happy and completely relaxed.

“You know, I think I’ve had enough of Asia,” Dave said next morning, as he sipped his tea in bed. “I think I want to go back home. Do you want to come?”

Jow was still half asleep and was unsure whether she had heard him correctly. A few moments passed.

“Are you awake, yet? Did you hear what I said?”

“No.”

“I was saying that I think it’s time for me to go home. My contract here finishes in just over a month and I don’t think they want to renew. So maybe it’s time to head back to London. Would you want to come with me?”

She could not believe what he was saying; she was his wife; of course she wanted to go with him.

“I think you’d hate it there to be honest,” he said, totally misinterpreting her silence. “But given time you could probably settle in. You might even be able to get a job in a Thai restaurant ? there are loads of them in London. Unfortunately, I don’t think my prospects are that good any more. Heaven knows what I’m going to do.”

Jow pulled the duvet over her face and started to grind her teeth. Had he ever listened to a single word she had ever said? They had often discussed living in London. Had he really not understood how much she wanted to live there?

“Well, think about it. There’s no need for instant decisions. I think it’ll be at least a couple of months before we have to leave. OK, I better be going or I’ll be late. See you this evening.”

He kissed her, switched off the air-conditioning, and then left.

It was difficult to know whether to yell with joy or cry. They had been together for ten years; and yet, he seemingly did not know that one of her main ambitions was to live in London.

Without the air-conditioning it soon became too hot to lie in bed. It was also too hot to pace up and down. So she switched on a fan and slumped down into their red leather sofa. After a few minutes the flow of cool air made it possible to think about what he had said.

She was still stunned by his comments. Was her spoken English really so bad that he did not have any idea what her thoughts were regarding London? She quickly dismissed any self-doubt from her mind. He was at fault: she had seen him treat Europeans with the same indifference. He was a dreamer and never listened to anyone from the real world, unless he was forced to.

It was barely past eight o’clock. Juep-jeng was certain to still be asleep. But Jow needed to talk to someone, and after all, what were friends for?

The phone rang for a good three minutes before it was finally answered.

“What do you want, Jow? You know I never get up before twelve.”

“Yes, I know, I’m sorry, but I’ve had some news.”

“Can’t it wait? I didn’t get in until five this morning.”

“Oh, new boyfriend?”

“No. Cards. I lost seventeen thousand baht.

Juep-jeng spent most of her time playing cards. And she always seemed to lose. But fortunately her husband, for some reason, did not seem to mind her constant demands for cash.

“What are you going to tell Christoph?”

“Oh. An aunt needs an operation. Or something.”

“Does he still believe stories like that?”

There was silence from the other end of the line. Juep-jeng obviously did not want to confront reality that early in the morning.

“Anyway, I’ll tell you my news. We’re going to live in London.”

“Oh.”

“What do you think?”

“Can we talk about this later? I want to go back to sleep.”

“Oh, please, I really need to talk to someone.”

There was a muffled grunt from the other end of the line.

“I really want to go, but at the same time I’ve heard that some people have had a really dreadful time out there. Do you remember Ning?”

“Vaguely.”

“Well, her husband was at work all day and she just couldn’t make any friends. Apparently, no one wanted to talk to her and people were either very rude or just ignored her. I think the loneliness and boredom almost drove her mad. Anyway, she’s back with her family now. Do you think that would happen to me?”

“Maybe.”

“Though I’m not sure she was entirely honest about her reasons for leaving. What did you think of Ning?”

“Not sure. Look, I don’t want to be rude, but I’m in a really bad mood and I’m really tired. If you want to talk to someone, why don’t you go and play cards?”

“OK, maybe. Perhaps I’ll see you there later.”

Juep-jeng hung up the phone without replying.

Jow went back to the sofa and switched on the television. But there was nothing interesting on. So she picked up her purse and counted out the bank notes. There was only fifteen hundred baht. Without a great deal of luck that was not enough to play cards. However, there was definitely some sixth sense telling her that it was going to be a lucky day.

She showered. It still felt like a lucky day.

She took a long look at herself in the full-length mirror in the bedroom. Her long black hair was sleek and shining. Her face was practically clear of spots and blemishes. And her skin was smooth, relatively hairless, and had a healthy, light tan colour. Unfortunately, her weight was beginning to become a problem again; but, nonetheless, overall, she was very pleased with what she saw.

Jow prodded the implant in the bridge of her nose. It had taken many months of worrying before she had finally decided to have the operation. But now that it was all over, she was glad it had been done. Her face had a far more cultured and less rustic look, and sometimes, in the right light, it would have been possible to describe her as genuinely beautiful.

After putting on a pair of black jeans and a blue Lycra top, she took the lift down to the ground floor. The security guard smiled at her. That had to be a good omen. Her mind was finally made up. She walked down the short driveway and hailed a taxi.

Twenty minutes later, the taxi dropped her outside the front of the run-down apartment block where her friend Nan had a small gambling den.

It was only just past ten o’clock in the morning when Jow arrived, but there were already a number of people sitting round the rickety tables in the open-air, ground-floor bar. Jow knew them all: old and middle-aged European men with drink, drug or gambling problems, and poor middle-aged Thai women in a similar predicament.

“Sawadee-ka, how are things?” said Jow, as she sat down opposite a middle-aged woman plastered with garish make-up.

The woman, Nina, sighed and swirled some beer round the bottom of her glass.

“A large Heineken and a bucket of ice,” called Jow to a waitress who was slouched against the bar.

“Thanks,” said Nina ruefully. “I had a really bad night. I couldn’t find anybody, and had to pay for all my own drinks.”

“I thought you’d given up on that. Aren’t you working in Praew’s cafe now?”

“Not any more. I had to get up at three o’clock in the morning and it was hard work. I can earn more in a night here than I can in a month there.”

Jow was going to remind Nina that she was not twenty-one, but thought better of it. Nina was no fool and knew that the years had finally won the battle. She still had the charm cultivated during twenty years of using sex to part men from their money, but that on its own, seemingly, was just not enough.

Nina’s large brown eyes began to moisten.

“Don’t cry. You’ll find someone to look after you. You’re still pretty and you always make everyone laugh.”

“They only laugh when I’m drunk or high.” Nina drained the dregs from her glass and then added in a slow dull tone, “I just don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Jow usually walked away when someone started moaning and whining, as she believed that most people got what they deserved. But as a bottle of ice-cold lager was on its way, and because there was a pleasant cooling breeze blowing; and because Nina was more deserving of pity than most, Jow decided to stay and listen.

“You know, I could have had everything,” said Nina. “There was one man, years ago, who used to send me twenty thousand baht a month. He wanted me to marry him, but I wanted someone richer, funnier, younger, better looking and more exciting. But now I’ve got nothing except beer,” she nodded towards some empty beer bottles, “and these”, she added, pulling a couple of brightly coloured pills from the pocket of her blouse.

“Try to stop using the pills,” said Jow shaking her head. “Do you remember Pim and her husband?”

“What? Who?”

“Pim and her husband. They lived down the next soi.”

There was a blank look on Nina’s face.

Jow was used to people not listening to anything she said, and so continued with her story anyway. “Well, they used those pills, they used them a lot. I saw them the other day. They were both in another world. They didn’t know me and they looked so ill, so wasted. They used to be happy but now ? I don’t know ? it was really terrifying.”

“I wouldn’t mind that. Madness and oblivion would be much better than this. When I’m not on the drugs and alcohol, I’m always so frightened.”

The waitress placed the bottles, glasses and ice on the table.

“One hundred baht, please,” she said curtly.

Jow handed over the money and the waitress returned to the bar.

Nina used a pair of metal tongs to place some ice into their glasses and then poured in the Heineken. After gulping down a few mouthfuls, she seemed to cheer up slightly.

“You should be careful Jow or you’ll end up like me. You’ve been lucky, but you and me are the same. I know what you used to be.”

“What’s that meant to mean?” asked Jow angrily.

“You know,” snarled Nina. But then she ground her teeth and with a look of resignation whispered, “I didn’t mean that to sound the way it did. The thing is, everyone knows you’re playing around with Tanet.”

Jow began to object, but Nina dismissed her protests with a wave of her hand and a wry smile.

“Don’t bother denying it. And he’s just the latest in a long line isn’t he?”

“No.”

“Look, I’m saying this to warn you. I’m in no position to lecture anyone. I just don’t want you to end up like me. Some of the girls here want your husband. You must have noticed how rude that waitress was to you. I’ve seen her talking to Dave while you’re upstairs playing cards. And that other girl, Oi, she’s always hanging round him when you’re not here. I’ve seen her sitting for ages just gazing at him. It would be so easy for her to accidentally mention something. Something that could sow a few seeds of doubt in his mind. Then I’m sure she’d give him a shoulder to cry on.”

Jow shot a brief glance at the bar. The waitress caught her eye but quickly looked away.

“Dave’s not that bad,” continued Nina. “I know he’s boring and hopeless in bed, but he’s a hard worker and reliable and he can give you a future. And provided you’re careful, you’ll find others to make up for his shortcomings. But you’ve let him become too involved in your life here with us. People like him, and they sometimes forget he’s a foreigner. One day they’ll start speaking to him as if he was Thai. Why did you ever bring him here and let him meet us?”

Jow was beginning to feel very uncomfortable.

“I don’t know. I didn’t really think. Are you sure about Oi and that waitress?”

“Dave’s polite and gentle, and some people even think he’s handsome. I know he’s not rich, but he’s not poor either. And he’s not violent, not a drunk and doesn’t take drugs. Admittedly, I don’t consider him the most masculine of men, but do you think someone like Oi, or her,” she gestured vaguely towards the waitress, “would care about that? Dave can give them everything they want, at least for the time being.”

Jow had heard enough. She stood up and then said irritably, “I’m going to play cards. Do you know who’s up there?”

“The usual people, I suppose. Aren’t you going to finish your drink?”

“No.”

Nan’s gambling den was in a small studio flat. It was not dirty, but it had an air of decay. Black mould filled the gaps between the heavily stained blue vinyl floor tiles and large flakes of paint were peeling from the walls. And, despite the air-conditioning, there was a strong smell of cigarette smoke and stale beer.

Filling the floor space were two large, square, wooden tables. And round each of these sat four people thoroughly preoccupied with playing cards.

Jow nodded at a few of the people she did not dislike, and then went and sat down next to a middle-aged woman on a black, imitation-leather sofa.

“Can I borrow ten thousand baht, Nan ?”

Nan consulted a small blue notebook. “You already owe forty thousand, Jow.”

“As much as that. Well, Dave gets paid this Friday, so I can pay you back most of that then. Anyway, I might win today.”

“Can Dave really afford to pay off this much debt? And even if he can, I don’t think he’s going to be very pleased. You should be a bit more careful with your money. He might not be around forever.”

“Not you, too,” snapped Jow. “I’ve just had Nina going on about this. Listen, Dave would never leave me. You don’t know him like I do. He loves me too much. Now, can I have the money?”

Nan considered for a few moments and then said, “OK, you can have five thousand baht. But that’s it. I want some of this debt cleared before you can have any more.”

Jow was in a bad mood by the time she sat down to play. In some ways, she would have preferred to have spent a few hours discussing all her problems with a close friend. But, unfortunately, Juep-jeng was the only close friend she had. Her life, particularly her early life, had been hard. She had come from a very poor and a very violent family. And numerous betrayals of trust and acts of wanton violence had instilled in her an almost manic desire to keep just about everybody at arm’s length.

Her mood did not improve as the game progressed. And by the time Dave phoned at eight o’clock that evening, she had lost all the money borrowed from Nan and another four thousand baht borrowed from another acquaintance.

“Where are you?” said Dave. “It’s eight o’clock.”

“Nan casino.”

“You haven’t been playing cards again have you?”

There was a strong note of irritation in Dave’s voice. She hated it when he spoke to her in that self-righteous, condescending tone. But at the same time she felt ashamed of herself, too. She had made countless promises to stop gambling. Yet, in the ten years they had been together, she had seldom managed to control her addiction for more than a few weeks.

“No, I talk with people. Nina very sad.”

“Oh. When are you coming home?”

“Now. You bring me home?”

“I’ve just finished work. I’ve got to get up early tomorrow. Why can’t you get a taxi?”

Jow was on the verge of exploding, and felt like screaming and yelling down the phone at him. The conversation with Nina and Nan’s comments had been preying on her mind all day. And she had lost all her money and could not even afford the meagre seventy baht taxi fare home. Suddenly a surge of panic swept through her, and next moment she was sobbing uncontrollably.

“What’s the matter?” All hints of irritation had left his voice and she detected something approaching concern in his question.

“Never mind, never mind.”

“OK, I’ll come and get you. Give me half an hour.”

Jow went down to the bar. She ordered a bottle of beer and went to sit with a few people she knew. But she did not speak much and instead sat gazing at the cars as they drove past.

It took Dave almost an hour to get there, and Jow was halfway through her second bottle of lager when he finally climbed out of his taxi. However, her mood had improved since the phone call and so she waved at him and smiled. He soon spotted her and began to walk over.

But as he was making his way through the tables, someone reached out and pulled at his arm. Dave’s face brightened visibly, and he spent the next few minutes talking and laughing with a young, slim, attractive woman whom Jow recognized as Oi.

Jow had spent her childhood doing hard physical labour on her family’s farm, and she was accustomed to brutality and hardship. Prolonged suffering during her formative years had made her tough and dangerous, and she thought nothing of using violence as a reaction to provocation and injustice. As she watched Dave and Oi, all her insecurities flooded back and an intense desire to inflict extreme physical pain erupted within her. She slowly stood up.

Neither Dave nor Oi saw Jow coming. And both were caught by surprise as her elbow caught Oi a glancing blow on the side of the face that almost succeeded in knocking the young woman to the floor.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” said Jow sarcastically.

Oi looked to be on the point of retaliating, but as the seconds passed she obviously had second thoughts and instead began to play the martyr. Dave appeared rather shocked by the whole incident and incredibly his sympathies seemed to lie entirely with Oi. This additional betrayal was almost too much for Jow. But she managed to keep her head and, realising that it was best to get Dave away from the bar and back to their flat, managed to drag him towards a stationary taxi.

“What on earth was all that about?” he asked, once they had both climbed onto the back seat.

A waitress appeared at the taxi window waving a piece of paper.

“Where your wallet? Pay my bill for beer.”

Jow rummaged in Dave’s pocket and after a short struggle pulled out his wallet. She removed a few bank notes and handed them to the waitress.

“So what was all that about?’ repeated Dave, as they began their journey through a brightly lit Bangkok.

Jow was so angry she refused to talk and ignored him all the way back to their flat.

He tried to speak with her a number of times during the following hour but eventually gave up and went to bed. After drinking another few bottles of beer, Jow followed him into the bedroom, and found him fast asleep. She thought it incredible that he could sleep when there were so many things to discuss, and so began to savagely prod and poke his naked body.

“Now what’s the matter?” he muttered.

“The doctor give you the vaccine.”

“What?”

“The doctor give you the vaccine to stop you be so bad.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. And can you stop sticking your nails into me.”

“It is not me, it is the doctor giving you the vaccine.”

“I’m going to sleep in the lounge.”

He took his pillow and a sheet from the wardrobe, and disappeared.

(End of Chapter 1.)

Simon Turner

© Simon Turner. All rights reserved by the author.
ISBN: 978-974-7512-427
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If you enjoyed this first chapter of Simon Turner's 'Modern Twilight' you can easily purchase the book online here at Bangkok Books.com: http://www.bangkokbooks.com/php/product/product.php?product_id=000058&sub_cate_name=&sub_cate_id=

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