A Heavy Price – Part 2 of 2

Malcolm and I were never saints, but we had a conventional upbringing that included a very strong respect for life. Neither of us were killers; or so we thought. But circumstances can push any man to the brink if the motivation is strong enough.

After we killed Baker I took Malcolm home to my place and poured us both stiff drinks. Then we sat out on the balcony where I rolled a couple of thick joints. We didn’t smoke often, but this was a special occasion. We both needed to relieve the stress. I even considered calling up a couple of hookers we liked to play with together as a foursome, but decided to talk to Malcolm first. Right now, he needed to calm down and come to terms with what we had done.

“Ropey, I feel terrible. I’m shaking. I don’t think I’ll ever stop. What am I going to do?”

“Look at it this way me old mate. You didn’t do the actual killing. You were just there while I did it.”

“Yes, but I slit his throat anyway. How could I have done that so easily?”

“Think of it like those deer we used to hunt back home. After they were dead it was easy to slice them up. You just sliced up another dead body, that’s all.”

He looked at me horrified, but I smiled and handed him a joint. It was obviously time for stronger measures. I got up and walked into my bedroom and called the girls. They would be over within thirty minutes they said.

I grabbed hold of my small stash of ecstasy and Viagra pills and rejoined Malcolm.

“Here mate, take one each of these. We need to chill. These will help.”

He didn’t even look at them, just shoved them into his mouth and swallowed. I handed him another joint and we sat back and stared out at the city.

Soon, the doorbell rang and the girls came in. Malcolm and I were still waiting for the pills to take effect, so the girls had come well in time. I handed them both an E and we went out to the balcony. On the way I put on some of our favorite music and turned up the volume. We were going to party!

The next few weeks were a blur. We went to work, but our minds were hardly on our jobs. I was worried about Malcolm, and Malcolm couldn’t get his mind off what we had done. Several times he came over to my place looking sullen and morose.

“Ropey, I can’t take this any more. I feel terrible all the time. I keep having nightmares about Baker. Last night he wouldn’t die no matter how many times we stabbed him. He just kept laughing with his big eyes behind those Coke-bottle glasses of his staring at me crazily. I can’t take it, I can’t take it….” He sobbed.

Each time he did this I pulled out the pills, the booze, the grass, anything at all to help him calm down. Sometimes I called the girls too. Then we partied. But it was no use. I could see him starting to disintegrate. I talked to my boss and asked for a couple of weeks off. I was going to take Malcolm away on a holiday somewhere: Somewhere he wouldn’t be reminded of our crime every time he turned around.

I booked a trip down to Koh Chang, a large island off the south eastern edge of Thailand near the Cambodian border. Then I told Malcolm to take off two weeks from work. He didn’t want to go at first, but when I showed him the tickets and explained where we were going he agreed. We were set.

I’d booked us into a small resort near the southern end of the island because it is quieter down there. At this time of the year there wouldn’t be many tourists around and we would have the quiet and solitude we needed to get our heads back together.

The trip down in the resort van from Bangkok took about three hours. By the time we took the ferry across to the island and motored down to the resort it was late afternoon. I’d brought a good stash of smoke and pills so we dumped our bags in our adjacent rooms and headed for the beach where I rolled a big joint. We sat the rest of the afternoon and watched the sun set over the ocean. We were both feeling very peaceful, or at least I was. I thought Malcolm had calmed down too. But that night after dinner on the resort terrace he came to my room and sat in the lounge chair looking morose again.

“What’s wrong, mate? Don’t you like this place.”

“Don’t patronize me, you bastard.” He shouted. “You know what’s eating me, what’s been eating me all along.”

I tried to calm him down and dull his brain with another joint and a large whisky, but he pushed them away.

“I can’t do this any more Ropey. I have to do something.”

“What do you have in mind Mal? Going to the police perhaps? Killing yourself? Come on! It’s done. Nothing will ever undo what we did. Now you have to learn to live with it. If you don’t you are going to put us all in danger.”

“I can’t live with the guilt Ropey. When we get back to Bangkok I am going to the police and turn myself in.”

“Get a grip on yourself man. Think about us too. If you go to the police what do you think will happen to Stanton and me? You will drag us down with you.” I shouted, getting angry with him. “Grow up. We killed someone. So what?” I said quietly, “We’ve killed plenty of other things before. This thing just happened to be a man. That’s all!”

He looked at me and then broke down sobbing, his hands covering his face. “I can’t, I can’t, Ropey. I can’t take it any more.”

I sat down opposite him and just stared at him, the thoughts swirling around my head. I was coming to the very uneasy conclusion that I had been trying to avoid. If Mal didn’t snap out of it he would be a clear danger to Stanton and me. I didn’t like what I was thinking. We’d been friends for so long he was like a brother to me. But at the end of the day what choice would I have? Couldn’t he see what he was doing? He was putting me into the exact same position cousin Stanton had been in with Baker. But I couldn’t say this to him. If he forced my hand I didn’t want him forewarned. He would have to work it out for himself. Right now he was too self absorbed to think beyond himself.

I watched him as he sat there sobbing, mumbling that he couldn’t take it any more. I shook my head in frustration. Oh God, I prayed, don’t let it come to this. Please let him see what he’s doing so that he stops.

An hour later he was still sitting there sobbing and mumbling. I couldn’t take any more. “Go to bed Mal. Have a good night’s sleep and then have a good think in the morning.”

He stumbled off into the tropical night.

I walked out of my cabin down to the beach where I sat watching the small waves break on the rocks and sand. There was no salvation there.

Next morning at breakfast I watched Malcolm as he slumped into the dining room. His eyes were bloodshot, hair a mess. He looked terrible. I hoped he’d realized where he was headed if he didn’t change his ideas.

He sat down opposite me and I put on a brave smile. “I hope you had a good sleep mate. Feeling better today?”

He scowled across at me. I knew then I had no choice.

“Why don’t we get out today and go for a hike up the mountains behind us? You need something to take your mind off everything. A good hike is just the ticket.”

He nodded listlessly.

“Right. Let’s go right after breakfast before it gets too hot. And make sure you wear your hiking boots. They tell me there are leeches up there.”

I got up, leaving him at the breakfast table and went back to the cabin to get ready. Packing a small rucksack, putting in my favorite hunting knife. Then I went next door to Malcolm’s room and did the same for him, leaving out his large hunting knife, however. Then I sauntered casually over to the breakfast room.

“Here’s your gear mate. Just put your boots on when you are ready and let’s go!” I said as brightly as I could.

We left twenty minutes later and hiked up a small track. The mountains on the island were formed by volcanic activity millions of years ago. They were honeycombed with deep crevasses, caves, and steep cliffs. There would be plenty of places where Malcolm could have an accident.

We labored up a steep track, stopping at a small waterfall after about thirty minutes hard climbing. We were high enough now to see almost the entire western coastline of the island. The view through the trees was breathtaking. I sipped the cool water tumbling into a small pool, filled up our water bottles and handed one to Malcolm. Then we continued upwards.

An hour later we were nearing the top. The trail had got progressively difficult to follow. In some places it disappeared altogether. It was obvious no one had been up here for a long time.

Taking a quick breather I turned around and looked out at the view. The ocean sparkled below. I called to Malcolm who had gone on ahead. “Take a look at the view mate. It’s fabulous!”

He stopped and turned around, and I walked up towards him.

“Let’s sit here a minute Ropey. I want to talk to you.”

He moved over to a large tree root and sat. I stood in front of him, not wanting to sit down just yet. I knew my legs might cramp up if I rested.

“What’s on your mind Mal?”

“I’ve been thinking about what a twat I’ve been and I want to apologize. You are right. Going to the police won’t help. I have to come to terms with what we did. I’m sorry Ropey.”

I looked at him relieved. After all these years as best friends deciding to kill him to save Stanton and me had been the hardest decision I had ever made. He’d just absolved me from the problem. I went over, pulled him up and gave him a big hug.

“Thank god mate. You know you would have put Stanton and me in a big bind if you had gone to the cops. Welcome back mate.”

He sagged in relief against me and we stood there for a long minute just hugging each other in relief.

“Well, come on mate. We’ve got a mountain to conquer. Let’s get moving again.”

We got back on the trail and started the final ascent.

Just before the top we came to a large cave with a narrow entrance. Malcolm stopped and peered in. “What’s that shining in the back there?” he asked.

I looked in but couldn’t see anything. “Where? I can’t see anything.”

“Right there in the back. It looks like gold or something.”

“Yeah, right! Why don’t you go in and see? I’ll wait out here if you don’t mind. I need a drink and a rest anyway.”

He smiled and ducked inside through the small opening.

I sat on a rock looking out over the ocean. The jungle noises around me were soothing to the soul. It was a beautiful day. There were even butterflies flitting around the tropical flowers up in the tops of the trees. I sighed in contentment. What a relief. Malcolm had just saved us all.

Or had he? Was that smile of his just a little too friendly?

I turned around at a slight noise behind me. It was Malcolm moving towards the mouth of the cave. He was bent over. It looked like he was reaching for something hidden in his socks. Perhaps a knife or a gun. I jumped up in alarm. He kept moving towards me, staggered, and fell.

“Snake!” he managed to sigh just before he sank to the ground where he lay shivering for a minute before becoming very still. I knelt down beside him feeling for a pulse. There was none.

© Marc Holt. All rights reserved by the author.