Emerald Eyes

By : Dana
Views : 1883

Siamese Vignette--1899--August--Chao Praya River--Eastern Shore Opposite Wat Arun.

Down river a Maine built four masted ship lies moored with a cargo of coal burning below decks.  The black pitch in the deck seams is starting to bubble and grey wisps of smoke are coming from the sheave holes in the masts. At the first sight of golden chedis and slow moving women, the crew jumped and swam.  Cooling their feet and yielding to their hearts.  The captain has a broken voyage and a contract that calls for delivery to Ceylon.  The captain needs new hands and fire fighting.  But first he needs a drink and he needs something else.  The toothless boat woman knows where to take him.

Dana towered above the polished surface of the bar.  He was wearing a black satin cutaway suit with a wine colored vest that had been tailored in London.  The Chao Praya river was wearing morning fog and the beginning of suffocating heat.  In spite of the heat, Dana's long vest was buttoned tight over a Chilean lace shirt, and a black cravat was pierced by a scrimshaw pin.  

He ordered a pitcher of steamed beer and strolled over to the veranda overlooking the river and the farside Wat.  The Siamese bartender in the white Colonial suit didn't bother to ask for his money.  The mouse never asks the cat for anything.  The cat stood a head taller than the tallest white man and carried 230 pounds of whippet muscle on panther feet; his emerald green eyes and squared mahogany features declared him the alpha male.  Men and women were both attracted to him.  Men and women both feared him.  

The pitcher of bird piss would give him just enough time to plan his next two moves.  First he had to take some paperwork over to the Consulate.  He'd killed two stevedores in the last 10 days and there were stories to tell and men behind desks with miniature penises to talk to.  After that, he would get to the main event.  He hadn't had a woman in 192 days!  It was 10:30 now.  He'd be done with the pasty-faced bureaucrats with the skinny arms by noon.  He'd be done with a woman by 1:00.  He'd grab the first small dark thing he could find, haul her behind a threshing shed, crush her pelvic bones in his great dark calloused hands, and pump her until her sobs became quiet, desperate gasps for breath.  

When he was done he would leave her nothing but a memory.  Lying in a heap of rice chaff and sweat; she'd summon enough breath to mouth "I hate you!"  Then she'd run home and tell her sister all about him.  Later, when he slipped his mooring and started for Ceylon; she would be hiding behind a palm tree--blinking back her tears and waving with her soft little hand.  

His beer finished, he snapped out of his reverie, threw some coin at the bartender, and got to his feet.  Time was wasting.  He had clerks to frighten and a donkey dick looking for almond eyes and black bangs.  

He strode from the bar.  His testosterone was up and his mistress was waiting down river.  She was a young and beautiful four masted sea creature.  His name was Captain Dana.  Her name was not important.

 

© Dana. All rights reserved by the author.


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Rating

Teen



Comments / Feedback

Beetlebailey
March 5, 2007, 07:55

?? Is there more to this? Is it a preview? Where's the story?
Dana
March 5, 2007, 16:28

Attn: Mr. Beetlebailey

The word vignette (Siamese Vignette) appears in the introduction. Vignette is a French word meaning: short descriptive literary sketch, a brief incident or scene.
Union Hill
March 5, 2007, 16:44

My guess is that this is a cryptic message.
Dana
March 5, 2007, 17:34

More on vignettes:

Using some Google notes: a literary vignette (there are other kinds) is a short composition showing considerable skill, especially such a composition designed with little or no plot or larger narrative structure. Often vignettes are descriptive or evocative in their nature.

More from Googlizing: Vignettes are the literary equivalent of a snapshot, often incomplete or fragmentary. They are often short but can be almost any length. A three line Japanese haiku could be a vignette and it could be argued that the 250,000 word book Ulysses by Jame Joyce is a vignette. Under the umbrella of literature or communicating with prose there are many forms. Not every page of text is required to have a beginning and a middle and an end to deliver information effectively or entertainingly. For instance: a Dear John letter might say:

"Dear John

I hate you. I'm leaving."

There is no beginning or middle or end but the message has been delivered. Vignettes are often the way we think, especially when remembering the past. Vignette capturing of optical information as a theory led to the invention of cubism in art in the 20th century. Members of traditional art academys wanted to know where the 'story' was. Not everything is a long story. Some stories are short stories. Some stories are not even short stories--just impressions. It all counts. When you are on your death bed do you think you will be reviewing beginnings and middles and ends; or vignettes of your life? It all counts
Bill
March 5, 2007, 21:45

Hmm...Think I’m missing something here too, but then again it’s Dana. (Sorry Dana, in your defence maybe that should be ‘then again it’s me’. I am a bit slow on the uptake). I am also guilty for some reason to fall into speed-read mode when reading most of your stuff as much does all seem to go right over my head, maybe its just you’re too damn educated for me. You’re comments on the other hand are always most amusing and most defiantly worth a read. Anyway I’m sure there’s room for this little gem of a vignette in someone’s heart.
Keep the comments coming mate. :-)
Beetlebailey
March 6, 2007, 06:50

So this is a vignette of a story you have written? Do you write complete stories or have a book you are promoting here with this vignette? Why would anyone write vignettes instead of a full story? This is like a commercial on tv-or some ad for a book or movie youd read in a magazine.
Dana
March 6, 2007, 13:11

Sa Wa Dii Khrap Hansum Man Kuhn Beetlebailey:

A vignette is a form of literature. It is well understood, and of long history, and universally used, and appreciated. Evidently not by you.

However, thank-you for your literary criticism. I will treasure it always. Apparently you are the kind of man who holding a perfect diamond in his hand wants to know where all the other diamonds are. The wise man is happy with the diamond in his hand. However, I am nothing if not bear trap sensitive to my readers. The next time I post something with a comic book beginning and middle and end I will notify you that the literature wagon has just pulled into your driveway.

Of course the begining and the middle and the end might not appear in that exact order but I think you and I might have to accept some compromise as we arm and arm stumble throught the dark and mysterious literature forest.

So that's it and that's my pledge to you Mr. Beetlebailey. In about ten days I will post to ThailandStories.com again and I quarantee the posting will be a story that has a beginning and a middle and an end. I hope you enjoy it.
Johnny
March 7, 2007, 01:16

So Dana learned a new word. Big Deal!
Marc Holt
March 7, 2007, 15:47

Well, I enjoyed it. Dana set the scene well, drawing the reader into a snapshot of the time and place. As he explained, a vignette need not be a full story. Try to understand that and you will see the beauty of a piece like this.

I suspect the reference to the 'comic book' has something to do with our recent correspondence offline too, doesn't it Dana? [grin]
Dana
March 8, 2007, 03:08

Thank-you Mr. Holt--

Thank-you for being an attentive reader and thank-you for saying something kind and supportive and making me feel good. I know this may come as a surprise to creatures out there in cyber land but I am actually a human who has feelings. To see my children (writing) continually beat on just for the sport of it gets tiresome. Anyway, thank-you Mr. Holt. And for those of you who think writing vignettes looks easy I challenge you to try. If you get really good then Hollywood awaits where scene script doctors working for film production studios can make a years income in four days.

Example:

--Hi John?
--Yes
--John, this is Bigmoney Rules Productions and we have a problem.
--What is it?
--Well, we are 40% into budget and 50% into film time and we suddenly need to eliminate a secondary character, and we want to transfer the action to another country, and we have to change the politics of the main character, and we are supposed to be filming a sort of documentary so we can't use no goddamned time tunnels. Can you help?
--It"ll cost $100,000 and take me six days. Probably three scenes.
--We'll send a limo.

It is not literature's job to make the reader happy. It is only literature's job to make the right reader happy. If the reader can only respond in a positive way to prose that reads like an appliance repair manual; then a lot of literature is not going to be the right kind of prose for that person. There is no blame to be placed here. Not everything appeals to every person. And to get involved in directives towards the author, or personality-of-the-author conclusions is completely beside the point. The point is always, 100% of the time, the words. Stop one thousand people on the street and the percentage who remember the play Romeo and Juliet will always be higher than those who remember the author. The fact that the play Romeo and Juliet was written by Shakespeare is historically interesting but never as interesting as the words. The words are king. The message is what counts. The message delivered by Anonymous or Unknown is still the same message. Just read the words. The greatest American novel is Moby Dick. Many have heard of it. How many can name the author: Herman Melville? Few. Well, that is kinda too bad for an American literary genius but still it is the words that are king and Mr. Melville would agree. He would say, beg, implore, cajole, and blubber:

"Just read the words."

Non-lineararity in prose construction is not new. Googling will produce many interesting historical examples of great works of literary art that did not proceed in plodding predictable beginning and middle and end fashion. Literary tools such as shuffling the deck, and reversal of time, and digressions, and flashbacks, and flashforwards, and simultaneous writing, and delayed or interrupted narrative, and branching paths all have a place in telling a story, or illustrating a plot point, or describing a character, or foreshadowing what is to come, or reviewing what has happened, or completing the circle at the end for reasons of form. Probably the best example of the use of digression is Melville's Moby Dick. Long detailed digressions that live tangentially to the plot. Wonderful. In one of my stories I once had a problem with tense; present tense and past tense and future tense. So I introduced a time tunnel that my character could fall into and solved the problem. God bless fiction.

And these major plot tricks and prose construction tools like foreshadowing, and time tunnels, and digressions, and flashbacks, are only the big tools of the author. He also has at his disposal many other smaller tools for delivering a message in text like irony, and camp, and simile, and metaphor, and references (history, literature, current events, personalities, etc) and alliteration, and allusion, and hyperbole, and analogy, and idiom, and onomatopoeia, and tone.

Hey, a little too much? More than you wanted to know? Not really interested in a tutorial on how writers string the beads? Ok, want to have some fun? How would you like to make great authors sink to their knees in front of you and beg? How? It's easy.

First we will compose a random list of these muttonheads that make things so difficult when we just want to know 'where are the broads' and 'where are the beers'? Let's see: how about--

Doestoyevsky
Shakespeare
Homer
Cervantes
Milton
and the big guy: God (remember Genesis and Revelation?)

Now here is the plan. You take a long walk with any of these guys and you blather on and on and on about your literature and writing opinions; not forgetting to offer up your opinions about the authors themselves as people or personalities (remember God?). Eventually--Homer in his toga, or Milton in his blindness, or Shakespeare in his Italian styled slippers, or God in his holiness will just crack and throw themselves before you. There at your feet they will sway on their knees, and look up at you with eyes half rolled back, and hands clenched in fists of implorement; and they will say--

"Please, I'm begging you. Just read the words."

So folks, just read the words and do not pay any attention to the author's name. The words are everything. And if you do not find something in style and content engaging then just move on. Read what you like and read what makes you happy but do not assume too much. Opinions are not the same as knowledge and opinions expressed strongly and with frequency do not increase their value. We do not want to see poor blind Milton or God on their knees.

To repeat: In one of my stories I once had a problem with tense; present tense and past tense and future tense. So I introduced a time tunnel and solved the problem. God bless fiction. You won't find any time tunnels in an appliance repair manual but then you are not supposed to. And that folks is what is known as completing the circle for reasons of form.
Union Hill
March 8, 2007, 05:24

I still think it's a crytic message.
chuckwoww
March 8, 2007, 07:53

Good one Dana. That's trhe way to deal with the one line bandits. Flood them with words.
Inspector Pueaux
March 8, 2007, 17:48

"Dana towered above the polished surface of the bar".... Was he standing on a Katoye handbag? He he he
Dana
March 8, 2007, 17:53

"That's the way to deal with the one line bandits. Flood them with words."

Well, at least I got you to use the word 'words'. So I guess four years of almost hopeless net bleating about the sanctity of writing has not been wasted. At this rate maybe in another four years two people will have noticed that writing is words. Baby steps. When Jesus came into Nazareth riding on an ass they forgot to mention that the ass was taking baby steps. It's hard to be a messiah.
Bill
March 8, 2007, 21:53

Dana, you're funny man.
Berties Bottom
March 9, 2007, 00:40

Well they do say that being a brilliant ingenious and funny man comes from being a border line madman as well. With Dana it's a close call and in his case I would hazard to guess that the madness comes from an attack of syphilis. Right now its just beginning to manifest itself in the form of some kind of Mad Georges disease with a terrible bout of typitis. Clackety clack clap Wibble!

Mike
March 9, 2007, 11:02

This has to be a record. The comments are much much longer than the 'vignette' posted. I don't know what to say, but I find it funny that more text was used replying to comments than to write the submission. I'd say this is the most replies any piece on here has gathered so far. What can we expect from longer stories?
Marc Holt
March 18, 2008, 18:16

Here we are a year later and I just re-read this story. It made a strong impression the first time around, and it has done it again this time. This is one of my favorite Dana pieces. A masterstroke that will live on for years to come.
Bob
May 13, 2009, 14:20

Captivating, akin to a Jack London story but darker and and more perverted. I loved it.
Fanta
May 14, 2009, 09:33

The memory of the mood of this vignette has stuck with me since the first reading two years ago. I'm with Bob. Wonderful.
Hump
November 1, 2012, 19:32

More talent in this, than the last ten submissions. Women's romance as a genre is popular and this would be welcomed.

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