I wake up in my 120 Baht room, a windowless box with with green colored tarpaulin on the floor sticky to me feet because of the dirt, the only furniture a metal frame supposed to be a bed with a thin dirty matrass on it. The sheets gray with age I had to put on the matrass myself - the petite receptionist lady who doubles as a cleaning girl was porbably pissed off I ignored her obvious advances when I checked in.
She gave it another unsuccessfull try last night when I returned slightly intoxicated from next door`s reggae bar.
Having a hard time to overcome my hang-over while making it to the communal bahtroom for a cold shower, no shower head here just a metal pipe sticking out of the wall from which a steady but not so strong stream of brownish colored brakkish water approaches provided the tap is turned all the way on.
Dark brown cockroaches comfortably walking up and down the not so clean tiles of the shower walls, yeah, these monster probably live on what quite literally lives on these walls!!!
Not sure if the grunting noices originating from my neighbors last night were the result of love making or a physical premarital dispute. Good thing I was intoxicated enough to fall right into the hands of Lord Morpheus instead of having to listen to all that sh*t!!!
Walking through the lobby on my way out trying to ignore both the smells of machine oil as well as the flashes coming out of Miss Receptionist's Asian shiners I wonder why I always insist in staying at these dirt cheap dumps where the word dirt in dirt cheap has got an obvious double meaning!!!
I wanna experience the real Souteast Asia where people have not as yet been corrupted by Western greed, where the locals have not yet been poisoned by the power of money, where Farang logic has not yet invaded the Asian way of thinking.
Well think again mate! The partiach of the family managing the dumphouse hotel is smashing drunk on moonshine whiskey down in the lobby most of the time, his pot belly getting bigger each day with fermented rice liquor while sonny love in the scooter business during the day, is busy spending the dough at the local pool hall - remember the double function of a pool hall in Thailand? - during the night.
Mum never comes downstairs, way too doped up smoking Yaa-Baa up in her cockroach rife room, on her flea ridden matrass while the daughter of the family is in charge of the reception pocketing the dough quick and fast before dad can get his greedy hands on it for more rice whiskey, not much interested in cleaning rooms but always in the mood for a 300 Baht shorttimew with any of the guests.
Welcome to the Third World, mate!!!