Out of Wack

My mind woke up before my body. The dreams hadn’t quite ebbed away as the shards of sunlight hit my face and beamed harsh light on my eyes. Come back later you bitch… Can’t you see I’m still a-fucking-sleep. But the forces of the universe can be so insistent.

I was not alone. A strip of lightly curved sunlight illuminated smooth skin the colour of honey or tea. She, whoever the fuck it was, slept silently. Recently my own snoring has woken me up more and more often. But this girl was as quiet as a submarine avoiding sonar detection. She was at the bottom of some deep sea of unconsciousness.

I, on the other hand, was starting to be aware that I needed to take a piss. There’d been mild pressure all night but I’d ignored it because getting up and taking the seven steps between my bed and the bathroom was just too much effort. Maybe this increasing laziness was another sign, like the snoring, that I was getting old. The laziness hadn’t been in evidence the night before. I could feel the gentle ache in my legs and a noticeable discomfort in my dick which felt like it had been bent this way and that. I could feel the muscle strain underneath my tongue and, for some unknown reason, my right shoulder.

There’s always that concern, after a night that leaves you with aches and pains like this, that when you actually take a piss it’s going to burn. I once had a urologist explain that the tissue on the inside of the penis is very delicate and doesn’t have the same healing capacity as that of skin. Actually… I say urologist. He was a doctor at the clap clinic explaining why my 5^th bout of urethritis was still hurting when I went for a piss even though the infection had been clear for over a week.

I swung my aching legs over the edge of the bed and took the seven steps to the bathroom. Standing waiting to take a piss I saw a large brown cockroach wandering aimlessly up the wall. I couldn’t get a stream going. I counted from five to one telling myself that by the time I reached one I would be pissing. It didn’t work. But then I heard the voice of my friend from the night before say “Turk” and that did it. No burn. No pain. Just a blissful flow of watery urine.

“Turk!”

I pulled the flush handle and watched the low water pressure dribble flush. Morning shower time for all the people in the apartment kills the water pressure every day.

“Turk!”

I walked back into my room and she was sitting up on the bed naked and beautifully unconcerned about her nakedness. Her face looked a bleary mess. Her hair was bunched up all over the place. There were swollen pouches under her eyes from too much drink. And yet just seeing her made my heart leap for joy. Her light brown skin. The white vaccination scar on her shoulder. The delicate shape of her collar bone. Her small black brown nippled breasts. Just that she was there looking as she did made the world feel miraculous.

“Tham cafee noi na?” She said through a voice husky from a night of drink and fags and fucking.

“Yeah sure. You hungry ?”

She shook her head “Just coffee…. Pleeaase” I couldn’t remember her name. Names like Toy, Nut, Ploy, Nit ran through my head but none of them was the right name. She’d worked in the same Soi Cowboy bar for years. I’d slept with her before. Probably most of the people I knew and a couple of thousand people I didn’t had slept with her before. But none of this mattered. Sex is horrible when it becomes possessive. We become anxious jealous little pricks when we sleep with the same woman too much. But when sex was like this it felt beautiful… Free. And even the risk of disease seemed relatively petty. Of course she wasn’t just someone I fucked. I’d been out with her. We’d sat and joked together over years. We’d watched movies together. Laughed at shit together. But she wasn’t mine and no matter how long I knew her I don’t think I’d ever been able to remember what she was called.

I made the coffee. I say I made coffee. I made Nescafe is what I made. My fridge was on the blink so I added two spoons of non dairy creamer and two spoons of sugar. I remembered how she took her coffee.

She pressed the lip of her cup to her own fleshier lips and blew the surface of the coffee. “Rawn mahk na Turk… Mi nam keng mai?”

“No… No ice… My fridge is fucked.”

“Turk… Why you say fuck all the time? Is very ugly you know.”

“Sorry… My fridge is broken.”

“Your fridge broken… My boyfriend very good with something like this. He can fix for you.”

“We’ve talked about this before baby. If you’re talking to farang you say he’s your brother.”

She laughed a musical little laugh that made her seem that much younger than she was. “Yeah… My brother. English me not so good.”

I kissed her head… “That’s right sweetheart. That’ll make it better.”

She put the coffee on my bedside table and I touched the silky skin of her shoulder blade with my lips.

“Oh baby. You make me so horny.”

“All right… There’s no need to be sarcastic.”

“I don’t know sarcastic.”

“Prachot.”

“Never tilac. I never prachot you. I love you. I want you. I always want you.”

“Drink your coffee.”

She giggled and said with huge emphasis “Is too hot.”

I lay my head on my pillow and tried closing my eyes to the light that filled my room.

In my head the colours swirled about beautifully and I felt her laying her head on my chest kissing and biting my nipples. She bit one hard. “Ow”

“You Ow luu? Okay I make again.”

And she bit my nipple again.

“What the fuck?”

“Don’t sleeping. You make klon all night already.”

“Was I loud?”

“Like a pig. Klon klon klon.”

“Sorry.”

“You not sleep again okay?”

I looked at her. Her eyebrows were raised as if waiting for my response… “I can’t sleep anyway. Too much sun.”

“Good.” She kissed me on the lips as if to stress the point.

“Mind you I have a free day today.”

“Is okay.” She kissed me on the lips again… And again… And the third time she took a taste of me. “I have free day too.” She said “I’m prostitute. Every day is a free day.” And I just knew that my dick was going to going to get bent all out of wack again.

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