Rat Droppings

The scene is Duan’s small windowless room in Klong Tuey. Duan is squatting in the compact shower/toilet/kitchen doing her laundry. Arthur, her live-in sponsor, is on the bed farting quietly (he hopes) and reading the Bangkok Post. Something scuttles across the lino. It is a rat! If Duan notices it she doesn’t find it worth mentioning.

“That would have been amusing at one time,” says Arthur (he has taken to muttering to himself lately), “in fact it’s just an ugly rodent, riddled with disease probably. No doubt it has a nasty little family in a hole somewhere. Mr. and Mrs. Rat and the little ones all having a good chuckle about the stupid farang I expect.”

Duan rinses a bra and continues to say nothing.

“See ratlings,” says Mr. Rat, “you can learn a lot from studying human behaviour. Watch and learn little ratlings. See how Arthur drops the newspaper on the floor. Then he switches the TV on, then off again. He can’t stand Thai soaps. Next he picks up a book, then he puts it down. He’s obviously upset about something today. What’s bugging him I wonder?”

“I know,” say Mummy Rat, “he probably just figured out that Duan didn’t go back to the village at all. She’s just spent a week on Samui with some other farang. And he knows she knows he knows. But she just keeps washing her panties as if nothing had happened. It’s driving him nuts but there’s nothing he can do about it.”

“You know how Arthur is,” says Daddy Rat, “he’s probably just jealous. He can’t bear the thought of some other tongue sliding around that gorgeous little body. What a dickhead. Does he really think he owns it?”

“Daddy Rat! Please!” says Mrs. Rat, “The children are listening. See how it is with humans children? See the situations they get themselves into? See what happens when you let yourself get distracted from the essentials of survival? They deceive each other all the time. Then they tell lies to each other and try to cover things up. Like now for instance. Arthur knows he can make a big deal out of it if he wants but what’s the point? Confronting Duan will just lead to an argument and an argument will just make things worse. It may even be the end of the relationship. They bring it all on themselves you know.”

“I know dear,” says Daddy Rat. “But you shouldn’t be too hard on them. It reminds me of my own younger days…oh yes, I was young once. I used to hang out in Sukhumvit a lot. This was before I met you dear. We’d be out all night sometimes, me and the guys, checking out the garbage bins, running around noodle stalls, leaping off tables and scaring the crap out of farang.”

“I don’t think the children want to hear about this dear….”

“Sure they do, don’t you kids? They have to learn about the seamy side of life sooner or later. Oh-oh looks like Arthur’s going out. He needs to talk to his friend Dave. Good. I’m going to see what’s stuck to those plates over there.”

“Watch out for Duan dear.”

“Duan? Are you kidding. She never takes any notice of us. Look at her now. She’s busy getting ready for the go-go bar. Nana Plaza most likely.”

“Don’t tell me you go there too?”

“Not any more. Place is crawling with cats. Oh look…she’s hanging her panties up. And now she’s clipping her toe-nails! I love when she does that. Makes me horny.”

“Daddy rat! You stop that!”

“Just a quickie.” (Sound of copulating rats). “Maybe later when the kids are asleep I’ll go out for a bit of fresh air OK dear? It gets stuffy in here with the ten of us.”

“Oh sure. You go out and enjoy yourself. What am I supposed to do? Stuck here with the kids? You really are a rat aren’t you?”

“Well you knew that when you met me. Don’t worry. You’ll have the run of the place. Duan will probably be gone all night. Arthur always comes back late and he’ll be drunk anyway. You should go for that leftover somtam. I would. Anyway…I’m outa here. Anything you want?”

“See if you can find some of those nice pre-chewed chicken feet….”

Chuck Woww

© C. Woww. All rights reserved by the author.

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If you enjoyed this short story of C. Woww's his book 'Losing the Plot' can easily be purchased here at DCO Books online: http://www.dcothai.com/product_info.php?cPath=21&products_id=106

It can also be found in many local bookshops in Thailand, especially, we have seen, in the many Bookazine Bookshops in Bangkok and Pattaya.

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Or follow this link to Chuck’s recent great story over on planetwriters.com: http://www.planetwriters.com/article/poetry/life/naked-tea.html