The Business End of the Stick

I run a modest business in Chaiyaphum city. I couldn’t operate in any place smaller than a provincial capital city; my turnover is high but my profit margin is low. That means that I frequently have to take large sums of cash to the bank, and that makes me nervous. I know the routine for security – never use a set pattern, carry a decoy, vary your route and times of movement, and so on. I’m still nervous.

And then it happened. The best that I can guess is that some bad guys cased me and decided that they would wait all day on one of the routes that I use to get to the bank for as many days as it took for me to use that particular route, and then they would strike. And strike they did.

I was walking at a brisk pace, maybe 200 metres to go before I was at the bank, and suddenly there were two strangers in front of me, one with a revolver. This nasty object was pointed at my vitals from about 30 centimetres away, so I decided that resistance would be decidedly dangerous to my well-being. The guy without the revolver wrenched the briefcase from my grasp, and the pair melted into the throng, leaving me shaking and shocked. I had enough presence of mind to hurry on to the bank where I deposited my cash.

The briefcase had been the decoy, and had nothing of value in it. In fact, the briefcase itself was worth more than the sum of its contents, and it was locked, so the thieves would need to break it to get in, destroying any value that the case may have had for resale. I had also taped two one-baht coins to the inside of the lid so that in the event of me being robbed, I would be giving the thieves a clear message that they were only worth two baht.

My actual stash of cash had been broken up into five parts and hidden in my various pockets, but I feared that the ruse would not work a second time. I had to have a new “plan B”, but I could not think of anything inventive enough to instil confidence in my mind.

I decided to talk to the bank manager, and he was available for me, a valued high-cash-deposit customer. I explained to him that I had been stripped of my decoy, but next time the thieves tried it on [and try it again, they will], I might not be so lucky – in fact, I could be downright unlucky; enough so to get a serious case of lead poisoning. He suggested that I wait a few minutes while he made a brief phone call. After the call was finished, he offered me an iced coffee, and we made some small talk until we were interrupted by a knock on the door.

A man in a well-tailored suit was admitted by the manager’s receptionist, and the business discussion commenced.

Without recounting the entire conversation, the result was that the man in the suit offered me protection from thieves for the sum of two thousand baht per month. I briefly considered the offer, decided that it was a good offer if it worked, and accepted. At the exchange rate of the time, that was $US50 per month, and it was to protect cash sums of about 120,000 baht per day, and on Mondays [with the weekend takings], it could be as much as a half-million baht. I like deals that are value for money.

The guy in the suit called himself “Wirot”, and he invited me to his own office for a briefing, so I said goodbye to the bank manager and went with Wirot. He briefed me on what he would have his men doing and how I should react in the event of another attempted robbery

Essentially, there would be two men following me at a distance of about 3 metres, and if any would-be thief tried it on me, I was to collapse myself to the footpath and let my guardian angels do their thing. Arrangements were made for me to get a phone call when my minders were in place ready to follow me. I explained to Wirot that I needed to visit the bank early on Mondays to unload the weekend takings, and late on Fridays to minimise the cash that I would carry into the weekend. Tuesday to Thursday could be any time of the bank’s opening hours.

Once these arrangements were set in place, Wirot told me that his protection had a perfect record; they had never lost any cash, and more importantly to me, had never allowed any injury to any of their clients. It made me feel good.

Wirot also warned me that the thieves who had made off with my briefcase would almost certainly try again, and soon. Because of this, he would make “certain other arrangements” for my security, this for as long as he deemed appropriate. I took all of this at face value, paid three months in advance, and took myself off to my office.

At 11 AM the next day [Thursday], I got the call. I was to walk out of my office with a large envelope filled with scrap paper, and not take any cash. I did as I was asked and walked to the bank. Wirot was waiting there for me, and we had a short conversation. He told me to give him the contents of the envelope and carry it empty back to my office. There would be another trip to the bank later that day.

True to Wirot’s advice, there was another call at about 3 PM that afternoon, and I made the trip to the bank without incident, made the deposit, and returned to the office.

Friday, there was only one call, this at about 2 PM, and the routine went smoothly.

Some of the things Wirot had warned me about was that I should not stop to look in any shop windows on the trip to the bank with money, and that I should not turn around trying to identify my shadows, as a stop could make it difficult for his men to stay in position, and if I looked around, that could give them away to any thief who might be casing my movements.

The next week was uneventful, but the Friday was Songkran, so on the following Monday, I had more than my usual weekend takings, and I was somewhat nervous. I got the phone call at 10:15 AM, and decided to wear a jacket for the extra pockets that it would give me. I had something like 680,000 baht, and when it’s got a large number of the smaller denomination notes [500sand 100s], that is serious bulk. I wore baggy trousers with big pockets sewn on the outside, and what I couldn’t fit into all of the pockets, I stuffed into a big envelope.

I keep most of the 50 and 20 baht notes as well as a reasonable number of 500s and 100s as a float for the business. A lot of the nearby shops will send a runner to me with 1,000 baht notes when they can’t break the grey notes themselves. It creates good-will between the farang and the locals, and I see that as a good move.

When he spoke to me that morning, Wirot told me to try to walk closer to the buildings than the roadway, and I assumed that this was to guard against motor-sy grab-and-flee tactics. I took to the footpath leading to the bank.

I was about halfway to the bank when I recognised something already etched into my memory. A revolver that would have suited Harry Callaghan, maybe even scared him a little. Yep, it was the guy who had tried to rob me a few weeks ago, and he looked like he really meant business this time around.

A little voice popped up in my memory and told me “Fall on the ground, you fool!” so I did, clutching my envelope with the cash in it. I fell on my back with my head closest to the shop-front and that gave me a good view of what happened next. It was not pretty.

Revolver-boy bent over to take the envelope from me when from a short distance away, someone called “Khun yudt!” [you, stop]. He hesitated and looked in the direction from which the call had come, then quick as a cat, he raised his revolver and squeezed off a shot. Immediately, another two shots were fired and the guy who no longer held the revolver was looking in startled disbelief at two red roses that had suddenly appeared in the middle of his chest. He toppled, falling heavily across my legs.

These thieves must have thought that they would be able to cut up their takings more than two ways as another 2 guys close to them also produced revolvers, as did the guy who had taken my briefcase a few weeks ago, and started to point them across me – thankfully not at me. Mayhem ensued, and my memory of it is as clear now as it was then. As soon as these extra three wheel-guns appeared and were pointed, it started to sound like firecrackers were going off all around us.

These three guys who had brandished revolvers all got about four or five roses on their chests, and fell over real quick. None of them got a shot off. One of them fell on top of the first member of the rose club, and that’s when my fibia broke. I lifted my head and looked around, and there were five guys there with handguns, all looking around with grim expressions on their faces, as if daring anyone else to draw a weapon. Nobody seemed to be that brave. Everybody in the immediate vicinity was either huddled in a shop or against a shop-front.

One of the shooters was on his cell-phone, and within a minute, Wirot was at my side. He checked me, and had me put in his car to get me off to the bank to make my deposit. He sent two of the shooters to carry me into the bank, out to the car again, and into the nearest hospital for medical treatment of my injured leg. I have to admit that the medicos at this hospital were great once they found that I was going to pay cash for the treatment that I needed, and they had me in a cast and on crutches within 2 hours.

I returned to work, and Wirot was waiting there for me. He had already spoken to the shooters, now he wanted to hear my version of events. I told him what had happened, adding that I had been surprised to see five of his men around.

“There were not five men, there were ten” he told me undramatically. “The other five were there and had weapons with longer reach than the Glock-17 pistols which my employees normally carry. They were there to prevent any chance the thieves may have had to escape, and in case the thieves got the upper hand in the shoot-out, they would have participated. We do not like to give these criminals any chance to succeed in their activities.”

I wondered how Wirot had known what day the thieves would strike, and he admitted that he did not know; I had been watched by a minimum of eight men every time I had gone to the bank. He had also anticipated that when the thieves tried to strike again, they would also try to kidnap me, and to be able to pull that off, they needed a few extra bodies to provide muscle. Wirot told me that there may have been more men there than the four who had pulled their revolvers, but if there were more, they had wisely decided that they would not participate. They would report to their associates that the farang has serious protection and is best left alone. “There may be a fool or two who thinks he can take you, but they will be few and far between, so you will only have two followers from now on, and they will be able to take care of anything that may happen.” He concluded.

“Where do you get the men?” I asked.

“They are all policemen; I give them training for this sort of thing and arm them with a Glock-17. They come and work for me when they are off-duty.” He replied. “They get to wear the Glock-17 at work, and they like that.”

I took Wirot out for a long lunch, and we had a few beers, then he left me to catch up with my business.

We still see one another occasionally, and if the time of day is right, we have a beer or two together. He did the right thing for me and I remain in his debt.

Also, if you are in Chaiyaphum city and you see a policeman with a Glock-17 on his belt, he might be one of the shooters who saved me from being robbed, and maybe even saved my life. They're good guys.

Needless to say, they get the weekly bottle of real scotch whisky from me.

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