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I've met many weird and wonderful people in Thailand over the years both Thai and Farang, and when meeting some of these I've had what can only be described as weird conversations, and missed opportunities. One being an exchange at Patpong.

It had been a great night out with Jay and Kip, Soi 33, Nana and finish at Soi Cowboy. As usual come 2.15 all well pissed we somehow parted company with Kip staying at Cowboy, Jay shooting back to Soi 33 to find his Tilac from Monet I have just got to fu.. her before I die were his parting words. I drifted to Patpong to try to find the beautiful Noy from Kings Garden.

Sat on a stool outside of what was Bobbys Arms, I was approached by Noy and the conversations went something like this.

Noy: You want Girl

Bangkokbear: Yes but I want a special girl

Noy: What special I do everything

Bangkokbear: I want an ass girl

Noy: You want Ladyboy

Bangkokbear: No I want an ass girl

Noy: Thats not nice I no do

At this Noy walks away to tell the other girls in her group. Five minutes later she returns.

Noy: How big your coc..

Bangkokbear: Average

Noy: Average for a Thai or a Farang

Bangkokbear: At this point I was later informed I had got the old man out for inspection

Noy: Uh thats big it will hurt like hell

Bangkokbear: It will be ok I said with a huge grin on my face

Noy: Ok I'll be your ass girl

At which point I fell off my stool (pissed) and had to be rescued from hordes of helpful ladyboys by the girls from Topless Bar who were returning from a food frenzy at Foodland.

As I was being half carried and dragged to Topless I saw Noy from the corner of my eye, shaking her head and smacking her ass (maybe another time)