Ladyboy Lust

By : TurkFist
Views : 82130

Bob and I were sitting drinking and enjoying the general ambience of the Nana Plaza. The Nana Plaza does have a very enjoyable ambience; especially on a Tuesday evening at around 9PM bang smack in the middle of Naa Naow. It’s an ambience only slightly less enjoyable than finding yourself accidentally locked in the nymphomaniac wing of a woman’s prison just before bath time.

Later that evening, much later, more like the following morning, we were due to head off to Sawannii’s birthday party. Sawannii was Bob’s Ladyboyfriend and was turning thirty. Thirty is a pretty crappy age for a ladyboy. Katoey’s, even more than women are supposed to remain eternally youthful and sexy. Any sign of a growing midriff, a receding hairline or a widening jaw can drive even the most attractive of the transgendered to suicide. Bob was very much aware of this and was constantly on the lookout for any signs of depression. The thing is that Sawannii was very fortunate. Bob loved her. I mean he really loved her. He thought of her as his soulmate. He’d spent most of his life with women and only switched to katoeys while in Thailand but he’d stay with Sawannii even if she changed from ladyboy into middle aged bloke. However, as intelligent as Sawannii was, he knew there was as strong a streak of vanity in her as there was in most ladyboys and he was concerned. She performed at a cabaret called “New Half” that put on weird shows and catered to Korean, Taiwanese and (mainly) Japanese men taking a walk on the wild side and this wasn’t the kind of place that would hire her if she didn’t look like a woman in all areas but the one that counted. It was at the “New Half” that she was having her party.

Bob was a good friend. He was the sort of person you could be open about anything with and he’d never judge you. It would have been pretty sick and twisted if I’d ever judged him for his taste in ladyboys. He didn’t see himself as gay but he couldn’t give a shit if someone else did. It really didn’t matter. All the same it always slightly bugged me in that dark little area of the mind where prejudices flourish that this was a man who enjoyed having a ladyboy fuck him. I’d seen Sawannii’s show and, while I wouldn’t want to overstate this, it did something for me too. There is a definite frisson in seeing someone who looks, at first glance, like a pretty girl but who has, when thongs are removed, a huge cock jutting out at ninety degrees ready to fuck another girl with a huge cock up the ass. I’d never been physically aroused by this you understand but it would be a lie if I said it was a spectacle that left me stone cold. I’d seen boy shows before and they really did leave me stone cold but the katoey show was something. Compared to other members of the audience, however, I was as unmoved as a rock. You could watch Japanese men slipping hurriedly away with their “friends” both female, male and in-between at points in the show was only to return ten minutes to half an hour later looking both slightly flushed and much relaxed. But however chilled I might seem about the show and my own reaction to it I still always felt mildly uneasy about the fact that my good friend Bob was getting it in much the same manner as the men/women on stage.

In the Nana, while enjoying the enjoyable ambience, I found myself glancing up at Casanova’s. The katoeys seemed much more aggressive than those at Sawannii’s show. Dressed in bikini’s and evening dresses from my distance they looked exactly like tall women constantly sweeping their hair or enticing the passers with offers of carnality. It was only when they made lunges for men or overstated their swaggering catwalk steps that from any distance they marked themselves out from regular women.

Bob caught me staring. “Seen something you like Turk?”

“Ha ha.”

“I liked that thing you wrote about Aoi. You French kissed a ladyboy. You’re one of us now.”

“I didn’t kiss her. She kissed me.”

“Yeah and gave you a hard on.”

“That doesn’t mean anything. When I was a kid I got a hard on watching Lassie Come Home.”

“That’s sick.”

“Not because of Lassie. It was Elizabeth Taylor as a teenager.”

“That’s still sick.”

“I was a kid.”

“Well you’re not a kid now.”

“Yeah… Okay… I’ve turned. The shemale loving pod people took me over.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it Turk,” Bob laughed. “Most guys in Bangkok have strapped one on at some point and spend the rest of their lives pretending they hate all katoeys to hide it. You’re probably the only ladyboy virgin in town.”

“I doubt that.”

“You’d be surprised. I’ve hears stories of some close friends of ours who you’d never believe…”

“I guess you would know.”

“The entire Bangkok katoey population has my ear. Didn’t you know? Besides which, my friend,” and Bob put a paternal hand on my shoulder. “There’s nothing wrong with being gay.”

“Ha ha… Again. My sides.”

“Yeah… You really don’t have it in you do you. Such a shame. You’re cutting yourself off from a world of happiness.”

“I’ll tell you the truth. I don’t really have any reason not to go with ladyboys. I’m sure the chances of a fun time are multiplied by about fifty and I don’t about being gay or straight; besides which I reckon Aoi could fool anyone who didn’t know. I mean she’s had the whole kit and caboodle done. And you know better than I that the last thing I could ever cope with would be having kids. It would make perfect sense for someone like me to be a complete katoey fucker.”

“Is that what they’re calling us nowadays?”

“Yeah. Katoey fucker is the politically correct terminology. I looked it up on the internet.”

“I thought shemale shaggers was the preferred term.”

“It was but they had to change it because of some pressure group thing… The point is that I have no reason not to join your club other than the fact there’s something I can’t quite put my finger on. There’s a sweetness that just isn’t there… And I don’t mean to say that women are really sweet because obviously a good number are complete nasty bitches but… Whatever it is that women have and katoeys don’t have seems to be the main thing that matters.”

“I know what you mean. I used to feel the same way. It’s almost like your whole body’s programmed to fuck real women with their all their moods and headaches and demands. But then, one day, I just snapped out of it and it didn’t make a difference any more. I think drinking helped me. Maybe alcohol breaks down a lot of those little pheromone receptors that might keep a sober man on the straight and narrow. A drunk guy who fucks a katoey still knows he’s fucking a katoey but the part of him that cares has temporarily fucked off in favour of the part of him that’s just turned on by the incredible sexuality and will of this hermaphrodite goddess whose breath is brushing his face as she offers him pleasures beyond anything most straight men will never know.”

“You know Bob.You’re wasted in computers. You should be writing escort ads for the Yellow Pages.”

We were interrupted when Bee, an old girlfriend from about ten years ago, tapped me on the shoulder. She introduced me to her husband telling him I was an old friend and a good man. The husband knew exactly what this meant but was cool about it. Jealousy of any kind is a waste of energy if the woman you’ve married ever worked in a bar. You just have to be cool and assume every guy she knows is a guy she slept with and not be bothered about it. Not that the husband got a chance to say much. Bee was a talker and she was babbling on and on about her great new life in Northumberland in a big beautiful house and a family who had become her family. When I’d known Bee she’d had decidedly bisexual/lesbian tendencies and had a short haired tom girlfriend who, she claimed, was just as handsome as I was.

After a few minutes of mindless information about Northumberland life Bee moved along dragging her husband into the bar she used to work in.

“I remember her,” said Bob. “Wasn’t she that girl who was always claiming guys had barfined her when they hadn’t.”

“That’s the one.”

“I knew her about the same time I fell from the path of righteousness. Such happy memories!”

“What was it? What pulled you to this manner of love so despised by the Lord?”

“I’ll tell you. It was them. Those Casanova girls. When I went in there the excitement of being there with them fucking around with me set me on fire. I was so in it that I thought my brain would explode from pure pleasure. That sense of transgression and wrongness played a part but then it was them. The total playful way they brought me into their world. The feeling of their hands and lips and overheated loins on me as I gently emptied my wallet buying drink after drink. Before I ever had actual sex with any ladyboy I walked out that bar and it was like I was dancing on air man. Like I’d been doing the wrong thing all my life and suddenly this was what real sex felt like.”

“That different?”

“For me; absolutely. And once I started taking them out I was fucking high as a kite on it. And then, when I met Sawannii, that was it. It wasn’t just the sex with her. It isn’t just the sex with her. It’s the feeling of just being with her and knowing, not only, that there’s this deep dark evil shit between us but also knowing that we understand each other. I don’t think I ever met a woman who even slightly understood me. Sawannii knows me inside and out. I was a bit worried, at first, because I thought people who knew me would be so shocked and appalled that she would be the only friend I’d have left but, you know, it meant a lot to me that you guys didn’t seem to change at all. I know it meant a lot to Sawannii. She thinks of you as a real friend I know. I guess I was just lucky that all this happened to me in Bangkok and not back in the States. Here you can be exactly what you want to be. If you like men it’s fine. If you like hookers it’s fine. If you like katoeys it’s fine. Everyone who knows me here knows I’m with Sawannii now and everyone knows Sawannii’s a guy. And it doesn’t matter. And, of course, if there is anyone who has a problem with it and wants to make something of it...”

“You’ll beat fuck out of them.”


“This is why I pretend to be cool about the whole thing.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it.”

A slightly sentimental moment hung awkwardly in the air so I quickly changed the subject to alcohol and, on that note, we moved on and drifted from bar to bar and from woman to woman. For a man committed to ladyboy love Bob could get pretty heterosexual while surrounded by scantily dressed go-go dancers.

Eventually, having been adversely affected by the dreaded Nana Plaza tinnitus we caught a cab and went to Sawannii’s place. We arrived just in time for the grand finale of Sawannii’s show. Having been maintained priapic erections for an hour or so the entire cast performed well orchestrated ejaculations over a willing volunteer. There was a secret to this which involved eating raw eggs a couple of hours prior to the show but the volume of spunk had to be of an impressive texture and velocity to make this finale work as spectacle. Thais are pretty good at such technical details.

About half an hour after the show most of the audience had filed out with their dates. The cast who remained looked decidedly less convincingly female once they’d got their slap off but they still had that katoey showbusiness grace and sang Happy Birthday to Sawannii in a decidedly awkward combination of mid sex voices as a huge penis shaped cake arrived.

Sawannii got down, blew out the candles and cut the first piece of cake greeted by a cheer. Bob then picked out a small velvet jewellery box from his pocket, opened it to reveal a diamond ring, got down on one knee in front of Sawannii and asked her to marry him. She threw her arms around him and kissed him saying “yes.”

Most of the katoeys were overacting in their reaction to this. They pretended to be blinded by the bright light shining from the diamond or acted extreme happiness or jealous.

Apart from Bob I was only guy in the place without breasts (and to be honest Bob is probably on the way) but I felt it in my gut and my chest. I hate marriages and I hate romance and I hate all that soppy crap and I don’t really understand the whole katoey thing but I have to admit that I was feeling kind of misty.

I have no idea how a marriage between a man and a ladyboy even works; if it’s legal or binding or if monks will have anything to do with it. But I figured if any marriage had any hope of working this was probably the one.


© Turk Fist. All rights reserved by the author.


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Comments / Feedback

January 11, 2007, 02:03

Turkfist is always interesting amusing and off the wall yet always on topic.
Marc Holt
January 1, 2009, 09:04

Pure genius. Every now and again I go back and re-read Turkfist's stories. This is one of his best. The man is sooooo coooool.
January 4, 2009, 23:50

6919 views and only two comments?
June 15, 2009, 07:40

Nearly 10,000 reads on this Ladyboy story! Didn't realize how popular this was. :-) Spoke with TurkFist yesterday and he pointed this out to me. He was amazed at the numbers on this story.
June 15, 2009, 21:20

The subject of titles and number of reads has interested me (and almost no one else) for years. I nominate this title as the most productive title possible in the genre. Turkfist should patent it in his name or something and just put it on everything he writes. I have several times written about trannies but never with this title. Result? Disappointing.

And now for something completely different: Have you ever questioned your sanity or wondered at the power of the Asian woman? Look at the May cover of Art in America magazine. There are four Laotian girls on the cover. Now look at the girl who is second from the left. Now look at her hair. No . . . you are not insane.
Jago Turner
June 22, 2009, 22:20

I think it's the alliteration. People love a bit of alliteration.
June 23, 2009, 21:22

"I think it's the alliteration. People love a bit of alliteration."

Ok, how about Dana Duncehead.

On another subject:

From the 'I Knew That' file--

"ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny," (Owen)

I knew that.
steve rosse
April 10, 2011, 08:06

"6919 views and only two comments?" Yeah, so in its first two years this story got approximately 3,500 views per year, then a burst of 3,000 views in just six months, then 5,500 views per year for two more years, for an unbelievable total of 21,000 views (an average of 13 per day, and increasing with every passing day).

The story this author posted the day before he posted this one has only enjoyed 1,500 views, and the story he posted the week after only 1,200 views. And out of 21,000 views, only five readers have ever commented on the story? Supposedly there have been 11,000 views in the past two years, or almost double the rate of views the story had in its first two years, but still not a single comment in that time.

There's something fishy going on here.
April 11, 2011, 00:21

"There's something fishy going on here."

I agree. I am perfectly willing to believe that in this genre that Ladyboy Lust is a winner title or even the #1 winner title: but the hit record is hard to believe.

If you got enough beers in me; however, I would confess that I wish I had titled every single thing I wrote Ladyboy Lust. My story/essay Sir Isaac Newton and Punctuation would be retitled Ladyboy Lust and Masturbation. Live and learn.
steve rosse
April 11, 2011, 18:16

"I wish I had titled every single thing I wrote Ladyboy Lust." I tested this theory by titling a story "How to Get Free Sex in Thailand." It got exactly the same number of hits as anything else I post. I think the same couple of dozen guys check out every day, and if they like something they'll go back to it a couple times. But I don't think the titles have as much market value here as they might in other venues. No, there's something else at work here. Something more... sinister.
April 11, 2011, 20:42

You have grasped the essence of successful marketing Dana. Seriously I doubt if many of the people who clicked on Ladyboy Lust have an appreciation for literature.
April 12, 2011, 19:05

Yes, Steve, those sinister search engines do it every time over a couple/few years. Lots of clicks come from people searching and clicking on the title link as it has a word they are interested in and it pops up on the search page in Google, Yahoo and many others out there on the web. Sometimes the link to a certain story will also be on a web-page elsewhere on the net. Those web-pages can fluctuate greatly in their traffic. There may just be a couple of dozen guys on here daily, but there is much more traffic than that. Most, as you may guess, do not comment even if they like the story. Thai-centric websites have cyclic web traffic over each year, and, these days with the global economic crisis traffic has fallen quite a bit on these sites about SEA and Thailand.

I've noticed over the years that certain titles do generate more hits than others. Sex does sell. That's about as sinister as it gets. :-)
steve rosse
April 12, 2011, 20:17

"certain titles do generate more hits than others" Nope. Don't want to tell you your business, Mike, but I'm not buying that.

Google the word "Ladyboy" and you get more than three MILLION citations, and this story is not in the top three pages. This same author posted an essay here called "One Hour Cunnilingus" just a month before he posted this one, and it's only received about 2,000 visits to date, or less than 10% of what "Ladyboy Lust" has supposedly enjoyed. I have to think that "cunnilingus" is at least as popular a search topic as "ladyboy." is just chock full of stories with sexy words in their titles. Marc Holt's story "Hot, Wet, Bald Pussy..." was posted at the same time as "Ladyboy Lust" but only has half the hits.

Something smells like fish in the state of Denmark, and it aint hot, wet, bald pussy.
April 13, 2011, 11:02

Actually, Steve, Google the title itself 'Ladyboy Lust' and see what that gets you. second on the page, and, the first site on the page is a site called ''. That, and many other sites with that phrase are where these hits for the story are coming from, erroniously, or out of curiosity. Again, nothing sinister about it, just simple search engine direction of people interested in Ladyboy Lust.

And, you forgot to add in the many sites that place a link to our stories, a direct link to certain stories of interest to their own blog readers. That, when it is placed on a site, can cause a sudden surge in numbers to a story. Also, if the author places his story over on,, and other such sites it can cause a large number of hits on a story as well. I have over the past year or two sometimes added the link to stories on these sites, and can attest to the surge in numbers of reads from doing so (I was experimenting with this a while back).

Happy Songkran, Sawadee Pii Mai. The water wars have begun and I am drenched already.
April 13, 2011, 11:15


And let me add that we can, through our site software, see where our reader hits come from, how many we get, even what country they come from, etc. Nothing sinister is going on.

"Nope. Don't want to tell you your business, Mike, but I'm not buying that."

There's nothing to 'buy' and we ain't selling. :-)

Sawadee pii mai.

Turk Fist
April 16, 2011, 06:23

There are probably a few reasons why this story has got so many hits but I don't know what any of them are so if there is fishiness I promise it is not on my part. However... A little web search does reveal that, for whatever reason, this title pops up in numerous search engines and weblinks like this one does. Of course it doesn't exactly inspire comments... But then why would it? My stories are pretty much all scrappily executed moments of solipsistic reflection. What's to say? They were popular for a while and when the popularity ebbed I stopped writing them. What I do know is that the people who have read this story and voted on it had a low opinion of it. People aren't coming to Thailand Stories and looking for it. They are linking to the title directly.

I'm not an expert on the workings of the internet and search engines but I think there's something of a snowball effect. Once you get above a certain number of hits you start rising up to the top of the search engines which means that more people will click on the story. It may well be the case that only a tiny fraction of the people who click on the story read it. Many probably think they're going to be transported to glossy visions of ladyboy porn. I suspect, however, that despite this it probably has been read more than a lot of the other stories on the site simply because it does get linked to and the title does arouse some degree of interest. I wish I were smart enough to cleverly navigate traffic to my stories and reap the google ad revenue but if I had this kind of intelligence I think I would navigate that traffic to a story that actually had google ads in it.
April 16, 2011, 21:20

"There are probably a few reasons why this story has got so many hits . . . " etc.

Yeah maybe but I believe I have cracked the code on this. The reason this story by Turk Fist has gotten so many hits is that he had all of his ladyboy lovers read it. Yeah, that's it; it's an inside job.
Roger Ramjet
May 9, 2012, 14:55

It worries me that the most popular story on this site is one with the title "Ladyboy Lust". As if it isn't bad enough that half my friends think I am a sexpat without them also thinking I am a secretly gay sexpat.
May 9, 2012, 20:56

I've said it a few times before, but if an author could write a decent book/ebook about the ladyboys of Thailand they would be sitting on a nice little earner. Personally I don't know enough about the subject. Dana?
May 9, 2012, 21:11

"As if it isn't bad enough that half my friends think I am a sexpat without them also thinking I am a secretly gay sexpat."

Knowledgeable friends would not think that. Ladyboyness has nothing to do with gayness.
Roger Ramjet
May 11, 2012, 18:55

I have one simple rule of thumb. If it's got a dick it's a man. If there's a fully functioning vagina it's a woman. Ladyboys are men in frocks.
May 12, 2012, 01:48

"I have one simple rule of thumb."

Simple rules are good rules. It used to be that people had one simple rule about the Earth. It was flat. They were all wrong. If you ever hear a doctor who is administering to your child say he has one simple rule: get another doctor.

There is one exception to this. I have one simple rule about all who negatively criticize my writing. They are all wrong.
November 15, 2012, 07:18

Views: 41,025
Comments: 22

Since TF last commented on this, his story, the numbers have doubled. It's been what? 20 months or there about. 41,000 reads is a lot of hits for this story. Many of the 'popular' stories here have over 10,000 reads. I suspect these stories have been linked on other sites that have a large readership/membership. And 22 comments as well. Just saying.
Turk Fist
November 16, 2012, 17:50

I think it's just the title. I doubt it's actually been read that number of times. I suspect that most people click on it because they're expecting some kind of porn. It would be interesting to see a longer list of the other popular stories on the site by number of reads. Back in the days of another site a massively popular story might get as high as a few hundred reads. I just hope that the people who come here out of curiosity because of the relatively high rank of this title on google stay and look around at some of the other stories on the site; many of which are much more transgressive and interesting than this misleadingly titled piece.
November 17, 2012, 23:27

"I think it's just the title. I doubt it's actually been read that number of times." -- Turk Fist

Oh please . . . how stupid does this guy think we are? These reader numbers clearly reflect his underworld influence in the Kingdom and a daily happy conspiring with corruption and . . . oh please, how stupid does this guy think we are? And the first letters of his Internet moniker? A coincidence? TF in Pali chant means Up Yours. More disrespect and . . . I could go on. Who wants to go to Government House with me about this? No petitions. No signatures. No legal supplications. Just you and I knocking on the gates of the palace. If you love Thailand you know that this Turk Fist thing has got to stop. Who is with me on this?

November 18, 2012, 02:45

I was sitting with Chris G. Moore, Dean Barrett, and Colin Cottirill a couple of weeks ago at the FCC in Bangkok. They asked me who the best selling western author in Thailand was. What do I know? I mentioned a guy who lives in Surin and is publishing a coffee table book on ladyboys. New York House. Author of rock star bios. Sold millions. The legendary Mr Hopkins. I went on to say that if any of us could write an erotic ladyboy fiction book then we would be minted. There seems to be a market for it. I mean if any of us could write one it would sell. Really sell...
November 18, 2012, 10:19

OK. Here's the deal. Fiction. Thai ladyboy kick boxer (yes, use the real one as a loose model). Served in the Thai rangers as a youth after joining the army, hiding his ladyboy characteristics/tendencies so he could serve his country, as he is a patriot. Tough bastard, many ladyboys actually are! Joins the police force after his stint in the military. Has trained since a kid as a Muay Thai boxer. Father is an ex champ kickboxer himself. He sees the ladyboy/gay tendencies in his young son and trains him so he can protect himself effectively from the gay basher / ladyboy basher types he will run into in life. He is eventually found out to be a ladyboy/trans sexual and is drummed out of the police force, even though his record was exemplary and he was a good cop. He ends up for a while in a ladyboy bar in Nana to support himself and his aging parents and family. He sees over time many farang being screwed over by other ladyboys and bar girls and realizes with his experience as a cop he could help these guys out, for a profit. He becomes a private detective offering his services to mainly farang, but also Thais. Being a ladyboy is good cover to go places many detectives could not. Acting flamboyantly gay/ladyboyish is a good undercover cover. Who would suspect a ladyboy of being a private dick (pun intended). He also has a farang boyfriend/husband he lives with who helps him get started and encourages him, loves him, etc. Nice guy who has taught him English and mentored him in many ways of farang customs etc.

Run with it and write the book. The first and only ladyboy private detective book out there. He may be a ladyboy but he's a tough nut (another pun intended). Surely one of those writers or yourself can do something like this that would work and become popular. He's tough, he's a decent guy, he's intelligent, he's funny, he's crafty and good at what he does. Has real connections in the army and the police force. People who know him respect him and do not judge him, and they are who can help him in his endeavors as a private eye. And, he is honest, people like him, he has many friends, and he is handsome as hell and ladies like him as well. Maybe make him bi-sexual as well. Some ladyboys are.

There it is. Write it and invent your adventures the ladyboy detective has. Could be a series of books without precedent in Thailand farang writing. A ladyboy hero. You could do it justice I think, Sisterray. Go for it. I don't have the time to write much these days, otherwise I'd do it myself. :-)
November 20, 2012, 22:41

Cent. This is awesome. Think of the potential titles - "PRIVATE DICK" - "Undercover Brother" "Dick Lacy" "The Oriental OP"

I think we have something here, boys.

November 21, 2012, 22:17

"Cent. This is awesome. Think of the potential titles - "PRIVATE DICK" - "Undercover Brother" "Dick Lacy" "The Oriental OP"

I think we have something here, boys."

It has always been a surprise to me that the ladyboy world has not resulted in more (or any) writing. It just seems tailor made for good or bad writing. And yet there is nothing. Another mystery. In my last ten years of writing about Thailand I have mentioned or written about ladyboys many times. The result? Only one ladyboy ever got in touch with me and I can not think of a single piece of writing on the subject that was influenced by anything I wrote. And of course none of the 'real' writers ever corresponded with me on the subject. I guess they were too busy being real writers. It is a subject begging for attention but not receiving any attention.

Harry the Hornet
November 30, 2013, 05:44

Disgusting. I wanted some porn and this story has none. It's not even indecent. This Turk Fist verges on being an upstanding member of the community.
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