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Over the years I've developed a taste for the older woman. In Bangkok where women seem so plentiful for anyone willing to pay the price I have been called sick and perverted for even suggesting that the older woman has some advantages over those women young enough to be my daughter but I don't care. True happiness lies not between the thighs of some teenager with one hand on her mobile phone and the other on your wallet. True happiness, and I don't just mean satisfaction here but real joy, lies between the thighs of experience.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not advocating the pursuit of brittle boned octogenarians who can't remember where they left their glasses. Not, I should add, that there's anything wrong with brittle boned octogenarians who can't remember where they left their glasses. And not that brittle boned octogenarians have any less right to an active sex life than anyone else. I'm really just talking about those women who have reached the age where they tend not to get hired by go-go bars but who know far more about what's what.

I was still relatively young when I met Lek... Lek was probably in her late forties. I wasn't sure and I never asked. But you can kind of tell these things. She had these large brown soulful eyes and an easy smile. There were a few strands of grey in her hair which she never tried to colour out. Her breasts were large and, maybe, one of the reasons she was still employed in the Soi Cowboy pub where I met her. It was pretty obvious that they were the kind of large breasts that without the aid of a cantilevered bra would turn to half full shopping bags that failed to hold any kind of position but it didn't matter because farang thrive on illusion.

The pub she worked in kept the farang - tourist and expat - fed on a diet of BLT sandwiches, fish and chips, beer and sports. The sports was the main attraction. Didn't matter what time of the day you went in there there'd be some big game of some kind playing and at least ten farang sitting there gawping at the screen. I'm not much of a sports fan but the pub had a pleasant enough atmosphere to make it worth visiting all the same. While other men were engrossed in the game I'd flirt with the girls who worked there.

One day I was sitting on a stool by the bar mildly drunk and talking to no-one. I was reflecting on the mess my life had become in a kind of Frank Sinatra quarter to three self pity mode when Lek slid up behind me and starting massaging my trapezius from scapulae to deltoid. Her fingers worked deep deep into me and I could feel all the crap that had accumulated in my neck and shoulders over the past couple of weeks being eased away. In fact, as she continued kneading away I felt all the crap from the previous thirty four years being eased away. It was exactly what I wanted and needed and I slipped her a tip which she received gratefully by kissing me lightly along the hairline at the back of my neck in such a way that I could feel goosebumps. Half an hour earlier I'd been sitting in a go-go bar with pretty young girls stroking my crotch and yet Lek's kisses turned me on in a way none of that had. Her soft lips pressing against my skin as if she wanted to taste me.

Of course I was filled with all the usual bullshit prejudices that most young men have about older women in Bangkok. I was still scoring mental points by clocking up conquests of pretty young girls (as if there's any conquest involved when you're paying). I wasn't clued up but something in me just said "what the fuck ?" I spun around and looked into eyes that didn't expect to be met. They were beautiful eyes. They had life in them. A whole life. I lifted her head by the chin and kissed her softly on the mouth. At first she almost resisted but then she flung her arms around me and kissed me back. Her mouth was both firm and soft shifting by the moment, responding to me. I wouldn't say I fell in love. That would be saying too much. But in that kiss I fell very firmly into something that combined like and lust.

After the kiss we both laughed as if there was something silly in it. It couldn't be serious. She wasn't a hooker. She was a waitress. And she didn't hint for a moment that I would be whisking her back to any hotel room. She just joked with me about the pub and the owners of the pub and their fights and the other girls and which one liked me. She showed me pictures of her children all grown up. She showed me pictures of her home upcountry. She asked me about my life and of course I told her all the terrible things I'd done and she smiled warmly as if the worst of them were just trifles. Maybe it was maternal in some way. I didn't care. It felt warm. Warm like the first glass of whisky breaking through a bad mood.

I didn't do anything else. I moved on. Moved on to other bars and other women who yakked and blabbed about this and that while faking sexual interest. But over the next few weeks I found myself drifting into the pub more and more frequently. The little intimacies that Lek shared got deeper and deeper. She knew how to touch a man in certain ways. Little pressure points that, when pressed in the right way, made you feel amazing. She knew where to touch lightly and where to touch heavily but she never talked about sex. She made all this seem like it was somehow casual and she was hardly touching me at all as we talked. She merely observed my state and traced it in a light and joking way. This was our secret.

One night, intoxicated by her fingertips, I was there right up until closing time. She asked me where I was gong afterwards. I said I didn't know. She said she was going home to her bed to sleep alone. She said she had problems sleeping sometimes. She didn't like sleeping alone. I said I didn't much like sleeping alone either. Then she made some joke about me not having to because I had all these women. I laughed as if it wasn't true. She suggested we sleep together making it seem as though this would just be for the company. I smiled and nodded.

We caught a cab and went to the Sawatdii Hotel. After coming out the shower she insisted turning all the lights off because of the mirrors on the ceiling. "I not beautiful," She said. "Better you not look... Just touch."

When the lights were off her towel came off too. She lay me on my belly and sat astride me so stroking my back gently with her cunt before massaging my shoulders and kneading my flesh like dough. She kissed my softly on my shoulders and back and slid her breasts up and down my spine sending pinpricks of icy pleasure flooding down my arms and legs.

I turned over and held her. She pushed me back lightly and bathed me with her velvet tongue slowly moving down my body before sucking gently on my balls and teasing my dick with her hair. It wasn't like some MP girl going through by the numbers moves. She was keeping me in a state of near orgasmic ecstasy with the simplest of touches. I was coming without coming if that makes any sense.

When I fucked her she was as tight as any woman I'd ever known. She'd had three children but her cunt was like a well trained muscle with a mind of its own. Even after coming she gently squeezed my dick inside her and I was hard again. I stayed inside her and we lay there all night drifting in and out of silent sleep only occasionally moving to avoid a dead arm or a dead leg.

With the dawn light came into the room. I saw her body for the first time. She was beautiful. Her body was beautiful. It just wasn't young. Her nipples were wide and brown and there were tiny white stretch marks; the same kind of stretch marks that covered her abdomen. But her skin was tight. Looking at her ageing flesh I realised I loved it as much, if not more, than I loved all the flesh of bargirls which, now, seemed almost undeveloped. I kissed her skin while she slept or pretended to sleep. I kissed her all over and then I buried my face in her cunt. She was definitely awake because this made her sigh and at once open up to me. Soon her hands were holding my head between her legs and I was kissing the brown lips thrusting my tongue as deep inside her as it would go and loving the tiny noises she made. Deep deep inside and sliding my tongue against her swelling clit on every back stroke. I lapped at her like a cat lapping at milk and soon her soft flesh was trembling as she strained her body and shook. Her back arched and I put one hand under her ass as I plunged my tongue deeply in and out of her. Soon a tremor built up and, as she came, her cunt flooded and opened like waters breaking. I didn't stop lapping until I heard that big heave of breath leave her body and her tiny sighs were like suppressed screams. She held me there for a few moments before dragging me on top of her. Her cunt felt like hot as it enveloped me.

We lay there kissing. We lay there still when the phone call came to tell us we were due out of the room and that if we stayed any longer I'd have to pay again. She shook her head when I suggested we could. "I have to go working."

"Okay." I said.

"If you come see me you make same we never come here."

"Why ?"

"I know you find young girl. Young girl very beautiful. Not same me."

"But..."

"I like you but understand you and I don't want you bullshit me okay ?"

Of course I wanted to bullshit her. I really liked her a lot and I always bullshit women I like a lot. Usually I promise some stupid shit that would never happen... But I didn't bullshit Lek. We just went our separate ways and that was that.

A few days later I fell for some young girl in a bar three doors down from hers. I got all swept up in the younger girl with her pretty face and adjusted naivety. I felt a bit bad about not going back and seeing Lek. But then both of us knew I was a shitbag. The younger girl was very pretty. She'd have impressed the guys back home. And, despite all that understanding stuff, I think I really hurt Lek's feelings when I walked past the pub with the pretty young thing. Of course the young girl was like a dead fish in bed. But I still stayed with her a couple of weeks... Until the next one... And then the next one. I was caught in the usual Bangkok trap that pretty youth meant something when, in fact, it only really adds up to inexperience and have nothing to talk about. I hope I've learned my lesson since.

I met Lek again one night almost a year after having slept with her. It was in a small outside bar on Soi Seven or somewhere like that. She made a fuss of me and told me she had a boyfriend now who loved her too much but that I should come and see her again so she could give me a massage. I didn't go and see her again. I haven't seen her since.