The Worst Dancer in Bangkok - Part 1

May was a tall girl... Well... Tall for a Thai. About five foot ten. This height was mainly due to her legs. She had these long legs that looked as though they had been artificially stretched as if on some medieval rack. When she walked she walked as if she'd not yet got the hang of having such long limbs, like some creature in the throes of adolescence who had just woken a few mornings ago a little bit further from her feet.

I first caught sight of May dancing in a second floor bar in the Nana Plaza. She was, without any doubt, the worst dancer I have ever seen in my life. This, in itself, is no small feat. After all... In my years I've seen some truly and unutterably dismal dancers. I've watched the disinterested shuffle of women who ache for their three songs to be over. I've seen attempts at formation dancing by naked women in upstairs Patpong bars trying to give themselves a bit of class. I've seen drug induced thrashing around to slow music. But May... May was something else again. Her elbows and knees jabbed out in every direction usually clanging against the poles. She always had bruises on her shins and as soon as she was on stage the other dancers started to sweat in fear that they might fall victim to a heel in the face. There would always be a larger space around her than any of the other girls.

To look at her you might put her down as some lanky teen. In fact she was 28. She didn't look 28 but she was... I checked her ID card. In addition to her odd height and her gracelessness she was also blessed with an overbite and a slow eye. Her two front teeth were always slightly visible when her mouth was shut and the slow eye always looked half asleep even while the other was wide awake.

The owner, or part owner, of the bar she danced in was a Brummie Cowboy I'll call Tex. This probably identifies him a little too closely for those who know the Nana Plaza well but I'm not going to say anything bad about him so I guess that's okay. Tex caught me watching her on the first night I saw her. I know the expression I must have had on my face. I've seen the expression on countless other guys faces watching May dance. Something between shock and desire.

"She's great isn't she ?" Said Tex.

"Amazing."

"This is the fifth bar she's worked in. Keeps getting sacked."

"Why ?"

"Just too clumsy. She keeps spilling drinks over customers. Doesn't get hardly any barfines. And of course the fact dances like a spaz doesn‘t help."

"So why'd you hire her?"

"I dunno... I like a bird with a bit of character me."

"Yeah... She does have character." Her wrist went clanking into a pole as I said this. "Where's she from ?"

"Where're any of them from ? Upcountry nowhere. You can sort of see her back in the village spilling the Lao Khao and tripping over the water buffalo. I'll bet her family were counting the days before they could send her to find her fortune in the big city. And here she is. You like her ?"

"Like her ? I love her."

"Yeah... I could see that. A lot of blokes are put off by a woman like that here. But I know what you mean. She has got something."

Tex wandered off at the behest of his scowling wife who really didn‘t like him talking too much to the clientele. I just found myself staring at May with that feeling you get when you know you've seen someone unique.

She finished her set and stepped off the stage dripping with sweat. When the girls here finished they usually drifted off to the dressing room to talk shit for a while before making their advance on the customers. It was about ten minutes later that May came running up to my table and sat down beside me. I guess Tex had said something. She looked me in the eye and smiled a wacky cartoon of a smile.

"Name May." She said a bit too loudly.

"Turk."

"Aray na ?"

"Turk."

"Aray na ?"

I pointed to myself like I was in a Tarzan movie "My name's Turk."

"You name Turkie."

"Yeah." I said

"You drink me Turkie."

"Yes. Why not."

She gave me a quick peck on the cheek and ran off to the bar on her stork-like legs as if it was a matter of utmost urgency that she order the drink as quickly as possible. I watched her standing there yelling insistently at the barmaid while pointing in my direction. The barmaid nodded with a professional disinterest. May looked back at me and smiled almost missing the drink as it was presented to her. After pinning a ticket to her number badge she walked back to me careful not to spill her drink.

"Cheers." She said. Well... Actually she said "Shee-it" but I'm sure she meant cheers. We clinked glasses and there was a little spillage but not much.

"I like you." She said.

"You do ?"

"Yes."

"Well... I like you too." I said.

Suddenly she realised she'd run out of things to say and looked away from me racking her brains for the next line of script. "Welcome to Thailand." She said.

"Thanks." I said.

She looked down. She'd run out of dialogue again. I played the gentleman and stepped in to help her out. "I like you a lot May. But this place is too loud. Can I pay your barfine ? Maybe we can go somewhere else."

"You want pay barfine ?" She said as if it was wholly unlikely that I would.

"Yes. If that's okay."

"Okay. You pay barfine me. Yes. Is okay..." She looked overjoyed and gave me this sudden, violent and surprisingly powerful hug making me bump into the table and causing more drink spillage.

When I gave her the money for the barfine along with the rest of my bill, she raced off to the bar to pay up and cash in with that same sense of urgency. I've seen people take it easier while running for a bus. Once again she inflicted her enthusiasm upon the barmaid while pointing back at me to make sure it was clear that it was me that had paid and not one of the other five or six people in the bar at this early hour.

After taking care of this business May came back sat next to me again and then, with a sudden lurch, took my face between her hands and kissed me on the mouth pushing her tongue inside and wiggling it about so it felt like a large worm on an exploratory mission. I knew I was in for a fun evening.

After about two minutes of this she stood up again, said "I go change then we go hotel", and ran off to the changing room.

Wondering exactly what I had let myself in for I sat and drank my drink. One of the other dancers in the bar was giving me a look as if to say I was completely out of my mind. She then went back to work as if to show me how perfect her figure was and how sensuously she could grind her body against her pole. The clear meaning being that the pole she was grinding could be me. But then the way I figured it I'd been there and done that. It‘s surprising how quickly fucking beautiful and sexy women starts to feel dull. People like May on the other hand...

May emerged from behind the curtained doorway wearing a T-shirt about two sizes too small that stopped above her belly button. The T-Shirt left little of her extremely slim figure to the imagination. Similarly the jeans that stopped halfway up her calves seemed to press into every inch of her flesh. She was grinning as if she'd just won the jackpot. Tonight she was the first girl out. Not one of the regular sirens but her... the tall gawky one. And within that world these small things can really count for something. She sat astride me and gave me another big kiss. The feeling of her slim and awkward body against me gave me an instant rush. I liked the fact she had almost no breasts. I liked her long thin legs. I liked the feeling of her bare waste as that tongue wormed its way back into my mouth. In fact I liked it more than I realised I did because I found myself suddenly possessed of a quite powerful erection. She pressed against this with her denim-clad groin. I knew she could feel it and loved the small torture of me sitting there. She pulled her mouth away from mine and settled a look in my eye. "We go hotel now."

"Okay." I said.

She stood up, dragged me up from my seat and within moments we were out the bar.

Twice she tripped and almost fell over on the crazy paving of Sukhumvit Road. I hailed a taxi and told the cabbie to take us to the Playboy Hotel or the PB as it was now called. In the taxi she rested her head on my shoulder and lay her hand in a casual accidental kind of way on my penis.

As soon as we stepped into the room May locked the door and, smiling a beautifully filthy smile started unbuttoning my shirt. She lay her teeth into my shoulder blades as she unhooked my belt and worked her long fingers down the fly of my trousers flicking button after button undone. Crouching down slightly she pulled the trousers down and smiled a huge smile to see my dick standing out at ninety degrees. She ran her fingers along it for a moment before walking away to the bed. I was standing by the door with trousers round my ankles.

"Very funny." I said.

She simply sat back on the bed and watched me clamber out of the trousers. Her eyes never seemed to leave my dick. I left my shoes and trousers in a small pile and walked over to the bed and pulled one of the covers over me...

Laughing at my inappropriate modesty May pulled her T-Shirt over her head. She wore no bra. Her breasts were slim with nipples that stood out like fruit pastilles. She watched me watching her. Awkwardly she lay back on the bed and pulled off her jeans. She wore no underwear here either. When the trousers were around the ankle of her second foot she kicked them into the air and they flew into my face. I brushed them away and found myself staring at her cunt. A few wisps of hair but otherwise naked.

She pulled the blanket away from me. I show you mine you show me yours. Then she draped her wrists over my shoulders. I kissed her and pushed her back on the bed. We just lay there on our sides kissing. She pulled back a moment and just looked at me. Just looked at me.

It was then that we had a moment. A kind of holy moment of sorts. It was almost as though we weren't there to fuck. We were there for something else. My dick was inches from her cunt. Centimetres. I could feel the heat radiating out from her. In one swift movement I could have thrown her back and fucked her in any way I liked. This was the way of things. But so what ? Somehow this moment, this moment I can't really describe was worth more. What did I know of her ? A few words and then this. Lying in a cheap hotel room rented by the hour for the most basic act of all. But the anticipation...

© Turk Fist. All rights reserved by the author.

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