The Riveting Saga of Dana in Thailand

Of all the writers on Stickman, Dana is the most prolific. But if that’s all there was to him it wouldn’t count for anything at all.

No, Dana is much more than prolific. He writes about topics very few others dare to touch. His style is instantly recognizable. You only have to read the first sentence to know you are reading yet another Dana classic.

I know there are some out there who will disagree with me. But love him or hate him, there is no ignoring him. His outrageous approach to things like unprotected sex, or sex with ladyboys, have garnered him plenty of brickbats and accolades.

Writers don’t write for their audience, or at least very few do. We write because it’s there inside us. We have to put our thoughts into words. We are the ultimate gossips.

Who can forget the sharp, extremely readable prose Hemingway crafted? Or the wonderful poetry Banjo Patterson wrote about Australia? Both have become icons of modern writing. They opened up new worlds for their readers. Yet, the main thing that sticks in a reader’s mind is the unique writing style they created.

Dana, too, has an inimitable style. He’ll make you laugh, like when he told the story of smuggling heroin inside a dead dog, and then lighting the dog up and throwing it out the window. A powerful image that leaves you laughing and wondering where he gets his outlandish ideas.

Or the semaphore flag story he created. You could see him sitting in his hotel room working out his signals and then going down to Beach Road to teach the freelancers how to read them. You almost want to look up at the hotel as you walk down the road to see if you can catch a glimpse of him waving his flags.

Then he’ll write about having unprotected sex with men and women. Some readers became most indignant when they read these provocative stories.

Does he really do that, they ask? But that’s not the point. As soon as you read it, you are forced to confront the uncomfortable reality any monger meets here. When you sleep with lots of prostitutes, you are putting yourself at risk, with or without a condom. Dana’s writing presents ideas like this so powerfully you can’t ignore them.

Writers are like a mirror. Sometimes, we hold up unpalatable truths and confront our readers with them. Other times, we just like to point out the funny side of life. No matter what topic Dana chooses, he brings his own viewpoint to the page. By the time you are finished you are left confronting your own depths. That’s the mark of a good writer, in my book.

Writing style cannot be contrived. Each writer has his own style. And there are many ways to tell a story. I’ve always liked to write poetry, and I particularly like the old Viking Sagas. So, in a salute to one of Thailand’s most controversial writers, here is the Saga of Dana.


Now gather around, my fat, furry friends,
To hear the story of a man who starts the trends
Not one of you knows how to screw a Nana whore
The way my friend Dana does, and he does it more

He’s banged them all
Up against the wall
The old and the young
When he’s been there, they’re done

He flies into town on a silver tube jet
He’s never missed out, no never, not yet
Dana is coming again, the Ho’s all cry out
Is that a rhetorical statement they are on about?

Dressed in his splendor
A sartorial suspender
To hold up his pants
While he stand there and rants

The Mothership, he cries!
When we get upstairs I’ll tell you no lies
The girls rush to crowd in the lift   
Panting and lusting for Dana’s sweet gift

But Dana is swift, he’s fast and he’s slick
If a Ho is too slow coming he’ll give her a kick
She’ll sail out the window and land on the crowd
He prefers girls who come fast and out loud

He bangs ‘em, and shags ‘em, and stretches ‘em wide
They walk out bow legged, and they’ll tell you no lies
There’s no one like Dana for fun in the night
He knows how to mount ‘em and do it alright

Now Dana don’t limit himself to the girls
He’ll take on a trannie, he’ll give them a whirl
My dog Rover is scared, he won’t come near
When Dana arrives and gives him a leer

Stickman writers wonder is he really that tough?
Dana will tell you he likes it a bit rough
Me? I’ve seen him eat six women and spit out the bones
Yet despite his depravity, he’s never alone

Is it that cocky look you see in his eye?
Or is it the stories, the tales and the lies?
One thing is for sure, he’s never caught short
Never lost for words, he’s just not that sort

When Dana hits Beach Road, late in the night
The trannies and Ho’s know that he’ll do them all right
They’ll drop who they’re doing like a hot stone
And follow our Dana all the way home

What goes on up there is something to see
But you won’t ever hear it from me, no not me
For orgies and parties erupt unannounced
As katoeys and trannies sweep in…No. In they flounce!

Dana, oh Dana, the girls all lament
Why do you like men with their tools all so bent?
Surely you like pussy, they cry and they wail
“Why of course I do dear, but not when you look like a whale!”

Dana, oh Dana, they sigh as he passes
What do those boys have up there in their asses?
Isn’t it as good as what’s between our two legs?
“Sure it is sweet, but he’s on his knees – and he begs.”

And so it is, wherever he goes
He’s rampant, he’s horny, as everyone knows
After living back home, such a humdrum life
He comes here to Thailand where the nightlife is rife

Dana don’t drink, he don’t smoke, and he don’t pray,
Except for the chance of another good lay
He’ll take the good with the bad, whatever it takes
If it’s got an orifice he’ll give it a damn good shake

So many of us look forward to Stickman’s Sunday
The day when Dana writes it’s yet another fun day
He’s telling the longest story on Stickman ever told
And we all await it eagerly, the young and the old

Dana’s Thai Thoughts and Anecdotes are legend, you know?
They’re read eagerly from the tropics to the deepest wet snow
Big Kiwis haka, and Swedes are no longer cold
When Dana’s Thai Thoughts and Anecdotes are told

So Stickman don’t stop, keep publishing our Dana
Without him we’d none of us be much bloody saner
Not too many now and he’ll reach the magic two oh oh
But will he stop or will he continue to thrill us all so?