I remember Hans, how I arrive from Isaan together with Nong-Chay, the big buildings, all the cars and people in the broad streets. I remember how I feel lonely and alone waiting at the bus station, terrified and bad heart with this hectic world outside waiting for Nong-Chay to return while guarding bag ours.
I remember how he come back with a big sweaty Farang, how the stench coming of his white body make feel sick me, how look in his blue eye scare me, his hairy legs under baggy shorts his and big nose his, loud voice his....
I had never see before Farang in life me, just on TV in village main house. I remember how Nong-Chay tell me I have go with him, Farang would give me money in morning, would pay a taxi for me to bring back me to the bus station where Nong-Chay would wait for me.
I remember many year in of GoGo-bar, Pat Pong, Nana Plaza and Soi Cowboy where Mau
Farang men with loud voices drink beer and pay bar fee me, touching body me while sitting in back of Tuk-Tuk on way to hotel, the p*rn on TV and the weird things they like me do, often Bam-Bam not enough while Nong-Chay would fight in bars and later in Lumpini Stadium, make money with Muay Thay boxing, how we would send money home to Phoo so he can drink more whiskey with his many Phuan.
Nong-Chay was in jail many times for sell Yaa-Baa, fight in street and drink Mau too much, police Thailand not like Leuk-Kreung.
One time after jail he bring home you. I remember big blue eye you and open face you, how always you smile at me, me like you too much then but you always talk travel in Europe you, I think you have more passion for travel then for me.
But I know you good Jai-Dee, you always help me, always help Nong-Chay Jamie, he love you big time like me, he always tell me you his number one Phuan, you help me speak English and Svenska.
Me like think you come Thailand many time to see me but me think you come because you lost Phii here, maybe in other life you were Thai. But you have Nit Noi good Karma and Nit Noi good Jai-dee.
Half asleep faces of my fellow passengers all around me while we wait for our ferry to Kho Tao. It is 05.00 h. in the morning sitting in the travel agency`s restaurant sipping hot instant coffee sold at inflated prices after a six hour overnight bus trip.
I`m rereading the notes I made during my night together with Nong in that five star Shangria-La Hotel room remembering how I left the hotel early morning with a heavy head cuased by to much Black Cat Whiskey.
Not the first time she told me this story, telling it to me like it is no big deal, the way the Thai can put up with bad luck and trauma is still beyond me, the quiet acceptance of bad and evil.....
Have a good life, Nong!!!
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