Ants - A horror story

Over the weeks I'd seen some tiny ants around my apartment; some here, some there; tiny, slim, little things the size of a black "I" on the computer. I'd spray - they died.
 
I'd felt rather creative in my writing Sunday night and had gone to bed rather late, after 2am.
I always choose the left side of the bed, a habit of old. This night I changed, moved to the right, squeezed the long Dutch Widow between my legs and jumped off into a deep sleep.
 
Tickling all over my head, mainly the back part and my neck, brought me halfway to the surface of consciousness. Oh, more of that, please, I like that. Whoever you are, you sure know what I like. The tickling increased in strength. Now it felt like a few hundred guppies nibbling and pinching all over the back of my scalp and neck. Guppies in my bed? What is happening here? I rubbed my neck and the pinching increased rapidly. Suddenly I was wide awake. I jumped out of bed, grabbed my glasses, put them on, dashed into the connecting bathroom, turned on the light, jumped into the bathtub, ruffled my hair - HUNDREDS OF TINY BLACK ANTS FELL DOWN INTO THE TUB. With more hair ruffling more of the critters fell down. I started to shake with pain as now these panicky ants seriously started to bite me. I screamed as I turned on the cold shower and flushed the crawlers in the tub into eternity before I aimed the cold water onto my head still vigorously ruffling my hair. I switched the water to hot and washed my hair and neck with TGel, a medicated shampoo, once, twice, three times. I changed the water to cold, back to hot to kill or drown the tiny biting ants.
 
Little bumps grew on my scalp and neck, itchy little bumps that grew in size and drove me nuts. Avoiding scratching was my biggest challenge. If I had a bald head like my friend Zann mosquitoes could do bump-boarding races on my head (Sorry Zann, you came to mind). Eventually I calmed down somewhat, dried myself and…prepared for a vicious multi-murder spree. Insect spray in each hand I silently snuck, like a thief in the night, up to my own bed. There they were, thousands of them, BELIEVE IT OR NOT - ONLY ON THAT RIGHT SIDE PILLOW! No movement. I aimed my fume guns and pressed the triggers, sprayed until I started to cough. I had to leave the battlefield, victorious, victorious.
 
Later I wondered – why had these critters NOT crawled all over my body? There were NO survivors to interrogate. I searched the bed, the sheets, the Dutch Widow, the duvet. NO living ants anywhere; thousands of dead  on that cursed pillow!
 
By 7am I started to call myself Bumpy. TGel wash seemed to give some temporary relief from the itching. Other insect stuff (I am prepared), did not give relief. I washed my head a few more times prior to running off to a pharmacy. Damn it - opening time, 10am -. I walked about in agony scratching my head; I couldn’t help it.
The door not quite open I rushed into the pharmacy. I tried to explain – nobody understood me; out of frustration I grabbed the pharmacist’s hand and made him feel my bumpy head and neck. Soon a bottle of lotion 'SOOTHES AND RELIEVES INSECT BITES' was produced. I grabbed the bottle, opened it, poured some liquid in my hand and rubbed it onto my neck, larger amounts onto my head, the staff stood there dumbfounded as this angry-looking foreigner doused his head with lotion, rubbed it in, rubbed it in, all the time groaning 'Oh, this feels good'.
 
The bottle empty, I asked for two more, paid for the lot knowing I was overcharged. I walked back home, looking like a Greek Gerbil with orangey lotion coloring my head and dripping down my neck.        
 
LAUGHING, ARE YOU?
 
Well, let me tell you this, I counted 157 bumps on my head and neck and I'm sure I missed some. There, now apologize for laughing at me!
 
I stayed home most of Monday and Tuesday to soothe my bumps, but mainly because I felt too self-conscious and embarrassed about my bumpy head. I only snuck out in the dark to eat and do a little internet business. I was wearing a Bill Clinton face mask as a disguise and still was recognized by that girl Lek.
 
To conclude: I have since returned to MY SIDE OF THE BED and enjoyed undisturbed sleeps.
 
Unsolved Mystery: Where did the ants come from? Why did the ants stay focused on the right pillow? What is special about the pillow? The pillow is a regular pillow - twin to the one on the left.
 
Pebo