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decreaseSo, there I was, the center of attention for the family, the "star" of the day. I had 'seen' for lack of a better word, maybe 'felt the presence of' would do better, Grandpa's pii. (Ghost in Thai is same as 'pea/pii'.) Needless to say I was a bit flabbergasted that everyone seemed to fully believe this was what had happened. No one said anything like, "Yeah, sure! No way. No such thing as ghosts! How much were you drinking last night?" These people believe ... fully.
Mama and Auntie were sent a couple of sisters/cousins to report this wonderful, for them at least, news. The ladies of my family were all achatter, and excited no end. It was strange, it was eerie, it was like I was in the friggin' Twilight Zone, and I guess I really was. In my mind I could hear a Thai accented Rod Sterling telling the TV audience, "Here is Mr. Cent. A strange man, in an even stranger land. A farang. He thought he was just visiting his wife's Isaan village. Little did he know that he would experience something odd, something different, something not of this world. Little did he know that today he was about to enter ... ta da dee dah ... the Isaan Twilight Zone."
Cue weird music. Cut to the first commercial ad.
I was sat down at the kitchen table by my wife and Sis. Tea was made and brought for me. I was further questioned, interrogated actually, in depth as to what I had thought I'd experienced exactly. They were all stirred up these superstitious ladies were. I was beginning to make a bit of a joke about it all really. I was curious though as to what exactly THEY believed had happened, and began to fire back my own questions at them. I wanted to know a few things myself.
We went over again what I had experienced, and they kept giving each other these knowing glances and talking between themselves. I got the feeling that this had happened before, and that they knew exactly what I was describing to them. This bore out to be true during my own questioning of them. It seems Grandpa and Great Uncle (his brother) have been fairly frequent visitors over the years, decades actually, since their individual demise. Grandpa the more so though it was explained. The story I got was this.
Grandpa and his brother were the two original founders of our little village. This was many years ago when they were young men looking for some property to grow rice and settle down on. (I still have no idea as to the whole story, such as where were they from originally, why didn't their family have rice land elsewhere already, etc. I have many unanswered questions yet, and intend to delve further into the family history in the future. I might even use it to do a lengthy village life history story one day once I have enough background.) It also came to my attention, because I was asking mostly about Grandpa and why the hell he was sitting on the end of MY bed, and not Mama's, or Sis' or someone else's bed, that my bedroom is situated almost exactly in the same spot as his old thatch roofed home had originally stood, and our bed is damned near exactly on the spot where he slept himself. This house was torn down a while back once the family built Mama a new house on the property behind my house, long before our house was built. The property was given to my wife to build her own home on one day, which we did a few years ago. So now Mama's house sits behind ours, we are on the street, and we have a wall and roof connecting both the houses for a common gathering area and open kitchen area. We also have a kitchen inside our house. So our house sits on old Grandpa "George Washington" Lawan's, founding father of the village, original home site. I'm steeped in history it seems.
I had not known anything of this family history and story before this. I wonder if Grandpa's Father/Grandfather used to come visit him in the middle of the night sometimes.
After I finally got most of this info from them, and began to understand where they were coming from, and what they believed, I just had to ask Sis, "But why is he coming to sit at the end of MY bed?"
Sis had no problem answering this question.
"Him want see you. Him take care for you, say hello! Say Sawasdee." This she said with a broad grin, as though this were an everyday normal thing around here, which maybe it is, and as if the old guy wasn't dead for chrissakes and was just popping in for a freaking chat.
So, I was trying to be respectful and concerned for their feelings and beliefs, and really tried to understand, and asked many questions about this. But the language barrier is still a bit much for in-depth discussions on ghosts and goblins and such. I did manage to convey my not particularly wanting Grandpa to visit me any more when I am trying to go to sleep. Once is quite enough thank you.
"Why you say?" says Sis.
"Well ... I don't really want ghosts, pii, even your venerable Grand dad, sitting on the end of my bed at night and scaring the living shit out of me. Nothing against the old guy, but he's dead you know, and I'm not partial to dead folks. They kind of creep me out."
She looked puzzled, and said, "Why you say?" I could see where this was going, and tried a different tact.
"Well Sis, how would you like him to come tonight and sit at the end of your bed? Hmmmmm?"
She laughed and clapped her hands saying, "No problem! Good luck for me!"
I never know if she's being a wise-ass or serious.
I laughed and countered, "Well I'll tell ya what. Why don't you go to the temple and make prayers for him and his brother. Tell him I say hello back at him, nice to see ya Gramps, now go visit Sis and sit on her goddamned bed, and let me sleep."
Sis laughed and thought this a grand idea. I offered to give her a hundred baht so she could buy some incense and lotus bulbs and such for an offering at the temple, and told her, "Listen. Ask Grandpa if there is anything we can do for him to make his stay in the other world more pleasant, anything he needs, uh, within reason, dahgling. (Dahgling means "monkey's ass", a pet name I have for Sis.) I ain't paying for a big party! Not now at least. I have enough to do taking care for the living souls in our family. (Time to nip that thought in the bud right away, yessireebob!) But maybe we can do something small for the moment. What do you think?"
"Think me not dahgling. Think you same dahgling. Think you give 200 baht!" she exclaimed with a grin.
Well, excuse me there, Sapphire.
Anything to keep the old dead bastard from sitting on my bed whenever he felt like it, but for a big baht (money) dead-man party costs/expenses I'll let him stay there every night if need be. I'm not springing for a dead-man party so all the relatives and family friends and hanger-on's can stuff themselves and get drunk at my expense. Screw that shit! Maybe in a few years time, not now though.
Sis, Mama, and family talked about this for a day and came up with a modest feast for us, the immediate family, the next evening in honor of Grandpa and Grand Uncle, and everyone chipped in some food and booze and such and we had a grand time.
I had to take a fresh, un-opened, bottle of my newly purchased Filipino Rum (Bonuz), that I've found in the Makro superstore for small baht a bottle, 130 baht to be exact, (good stuff I might add for a mere four bucks a quart) and pour the first two drinks after first opening the bottle into shot glasses, then pour them on the ground in a specific spot near our spirit house outside the house. I tried to protest this waste of good liquor by stating, "What? Pii (ghosts) cannot drink whiskey. And why don't we use Lao Khao? Isn't that what Grandpa and his brother would drink?"
Everyone laughed, and Sis explained that it was what 'I' was drinking, and only polite to offer Grandpa and brother the first drinks from 'my' flask. To which I muttered, grinning mischievously, "Maybe tonight 'I' drink Lao Khao, huh?"
My wife nixed that idea quickly. That woman just don't cotton to the Lao Khao, for sure! And yes, ghosts do drink, and eat, and sit on beds sometimes, or so I'm assured of by the clan anyway.
Actually it sounds more fun then the falang (foreigner) concept of the afterlife I think.
I caused a bit of a stir with my wife one night a week or so later. After a nice round of love making one evening I asked her, jokingly, "So darling, if Grandpa can come and sit on the bed and watch me as I sleep, well, do you think he can watch and see us when we make love?"
Her eyes bugged out, she grabbed the bed-covers off the bed and covered her nakedness and chattered away at me.
"Why you say this? Why you think Grandpa do?" and yakkity yakkity yak!
Sheesh. Struck a nerve there I believe.
"Well if he can't 'do' then why are you covering yourself up with the sheets dear?" I chuckled at her, as I grabbed the sheets away and started another round of love making.
Seems we just had to cover ourselves with the sheets though.
Grandpa might be watching you know. Ha. The old pervert.
I think this may be why Thai ladies are always trying to make love under the covers, with the lights off.
The damned pii are watching!
Spooky.
The End.
Cent
(The Central Scrutinizer)
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"The dead they sleep, a long, long sleep;
The dead they rest, and their rest is deep;
The dead have peace, but the living weep."
Samuel Hoffenstein,
Year In, You're Out
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"'Tis now the very witching time of night,
When churchyards yawn, and hell itself breathes out."
William Shakespeare,
Hamlet
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This story was written in 2003. All rights reserved by the author.
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