Living with a Thai Girl - The Idiot Goes Car Shopping Alone

The 'farang' version

I've decided to take the plunge and buy a car. Not a new car, but a 2nd hand one the wife can learn to crash.

So off I trotted to find some car yards, and was happy to see on Rachada near my place there are many.

Popped into the first one I came too, and stood around looking at various cars.

Out popped the saleman, "Saywatdecrap" to each other as I wonder kicking tyres, and finally near the entrance of the car yard I see a car I like, Volkswagon Golf Station Wagon.

I turn to the sales man and in my impecable Thai I ask to see inside the car. "Rot Suway" Good looking car I say (I think)

He gives me a odd look, then beams a smile, and trots into his office.

Out he comes with the keys.

I sit in it, start it, turn on the air. Nice car, a little messy inside, but quite presentable.

I get out and ask "How much"

He looks blank, so I ask again in my fautless Thai "TOW RAI CRAP"

He tell me 340 000 baht.

"PANG MARK LOI" I explain at this ridiculously high price.

He looks sad, interesting act for a sales man.

How old I ask,

24 he replies, NOT YOU YA TWIT, THE CAR (I always note that regardless what everyone says, speaking louder does help)

OHHH - 7 years old.

Too much I tell him, maybe 270 000 baht at best.

Not 340 000 he asks me.

NO

He looks sad, "But you think a good car" he asks me.

It is I say, but too much, way too much.

The weird bugger is now looking like he's about to cry.

Feeling a bit sad for this useless sales man, I decide to pretend to be interested in other cars.

I point to a old corolla, "How Much" I ask

"Mai Loo", no idea he replies sadly.

hmmm, ok - that one there the Mitsubishi, how much?

"Mai Loo" he says again, still sad.

OK - What will you sell me for 200 000 baht then I ask.

Blank look

SONG SAN BAHT

Blank puzzelled look.

OK - That car there, HOW MUCH

Not for sale.

FARK ME STOOPID, I begin to loose it and he finally looks like he's stopped crying at last about his last sales effort and more like the bar girls get just after I set fire to myself, the "please buddha take this farang away".

WHAT CARS CAN YOU SELL ME THEN.

"Mai mee" None

What the fuck?

OK - Are any of these cars for sale

No

??????

But "The Volkswagon is for sale" I say?

"That's my car, I pay 340 000 for it, this is a car park"

Then he laughed at me as I walked away.

----------------------------

The Thai version

So there I was working at the car park and in comes this Farang looking for his car.

I assumed he had lost his car and he's wondering around, looking crazy like all farangs, then he pointed to the Golf wagon I just bought, and said "That's a nice car"

Well, even though he was a farang he had good taste, so I said thank you. He then asked if he could see inside it.

Now you know I am very proud of my new car, even if it is 2nd hand, it's European you know, so I gave him the keys and he opened up and sat inside. He was VERY impressed with my new car, and then asked how old I was.

Well, I might enjoy getting my shoulders rubbed when I am at the club having a piss with you guys, but I'm NOT gay, then he asked again, and I realised he meant how old was the car. MAN what a relief, he was pretty ugly and fat to be hitting on me, not that I'm gay or anything.

So I tell him it's only 7 years old, and then he asks how much.

I thought again at first how much to go with me, no way I thought I'd go with him, I mean, I don't mind a man massage, but no way I am gay, then I realised he meant the car, how much for the car.

So I told him the price I paid, 340 000 baht, and the rude farang, they are so rude aren't they, the rude farang then says TOO MUCH, YOU PAID TOO MUCH.

The man is practically yelling at me, damn farangs are loud, and he smelt! Did I say that before, he smelt of burning hair.

Anyway he tells me I paid way too much for the car, and I got really worried, because this is my first car and I was pretty upset, so then he starts walking around the car park asking how much various cars cost, like I know what the owners paid? I only park the cars, I don't own them! And all the time I keep thinking, maybe I paid too much for the car, curse that Farang, and then, finally he asks me, WHAT CARS CAN HE BUY HERE

The idiot kee nok farang, he thinks it's a car yard! It's a Car Park I tell him, I haven't stopped laughing at the stupid farangs since then!

Jimmie Blonde

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