Meeting the Family

Hi there. Its Thaiexpert here again. Sooner or later in your relationship with your 'Thai cutie' will come the all-important occasion of 'meeting the family'. Much of your future happiness will depend upon this meeting, so pay careful attention!

When you first meet 'Papa' (literal translation: the swamp sucking scum who sent his daughter off to bonk fat farangs so he could stay home and drink mekhong all day) and 'Mama' (literal translation: holy f*ck this is what my girl will look like in 30 years time) it is important that you give them considerable respect. Small gifts such as fruit (wrapped in money), candy (wrapped in money) or flowers (wrapped in money) are appreciated, although 'Papa' (TSSS......) may greatly appreciate something in a bottle (wrapped in money).

As a 'farang' (lit trans :'sucker') 'Mama' (HFTIW......) and 'Papa' (TSSSW....) will be looking to see if you are 'jai dee' (lit trans: 'open wallet') and good enough for their little 'Lek', 'Noi' or 'Pae' (lit trans: money bank). You may be lucky enough to meet other members of the family such as 'pii chai' (lit trans: the Thai husband she has not told you about) and her much younger 'nong chai' and 'nong sao' (lit trans : her kids that she has not told you about). Make good friends with these little bundles of joy, as you can be sure that you will hear about every adventure in their lives from sickness (lit trans : pay money) to education (lit trans : pay money) to their marriage (lit trans : pay money).

When first entering the 'hong' (lit trans : mud shack), remember to 'Why'' both parents (for details see post on 'temple etiquette'). If 'Mama' (HFTIW..) greets you with "Hi GI Numba 1" it is appropriate to give her a big wet kiss and a pinch on the bottom to remind her of her time in Bangkok. Keep your shoes on as bare feet are highly insulting to Thais as we all know! If there is a chair present, or something else to sit on, make sure that you sit there, as you are not yet a member of the family, so joining them on the floor would be highly inappropriate.

If you and your girl are thinking about getting married (lit trans : 'nailing the farang'), discussion may turn to future matters and you may hear many quaint traditional Thai phrases such as 'Toyotapickuptruck', 'pigfarm' and 'newhousewithfullairconditioningandinsidetoilet'. These phrases mean that parental approval is just around the corner! In addition you will also learn other phrases, Yes! the Thais do have words for 'hundred thousand' and 'million'.

If you are approved, the family will greet you with cries of 'Farang jai dee' (lit trans : sucker with open wallet), or, if you are very lucky 'farang jai dee mak-mak' (lit trans : rich sucker with open wallet).

-thaiexpert-