One Night In Bangkok.

One Night In Bangkok .

Due to my late arrival to Don Muang, I had decided to stay over in BKK before catching the first bus out of Mor-Chit heading towards my Issan haven. Firstly I noticed the trend continues in Bangkok where bumper-to-bumper traffic just gets worse and worse, it must surely must have resulted in many babies being delivered on those sticky vinyl seats of the local taxis, many people turning up late for appointments, young men with good kidneys pissing in their pants and the old and infirm losing the battle against cancer whilst caught up in traffic jams. The heavy traffic problems doesn’t just affect mortals like me and you, spare a thought for the policemen as they go about occupational hazard. Bangkok ’s finest traffic police must be complaining of stomach & lung ailments. While the stomach complaint can be attributed to the free lunches they have walking into any nearby restaurant, the lung ailments must come from city’s dense pollution that grabs the back of the throat like a secret mass murderer.

On arrival at the hotel I paid the taxi 250 baht including tip then made my way to the check-in desk. Glancing back I witness the earnestness with which this young bellboy was struggling with my luggage, I swear the weight must have given him a hernia as his Thai smile had turned into a grimace as he passed the comment “come on holiday or you come live here”. Anyway, he carried my luggage into the lift and from the lift into the room. I turned and looked at him as I recalled a Harrison Ford film I once saw where he was tipping some Indians for carrying his bags up a mountain….I whipped out my wallet and flipped it open in style. Lined inside my wallet were 20 brand new 1000 baht notes. I thought for a moment…what do I do now? I had no change or small notes…but right in front of me was a bell boy with more expectation in his eyes than when he first thought he was going to get his end-away. In such moments like this, I try and imagine what my Mrs would do and go by it. I closed my eyes…..and I could visualize her shooing away the bell boy because she didn’t have change to tip him. I did the same.

After a nights rest I am ready to brave to bus journey to Issan. At 5 a.m, I walked up to a pretty hotel receptionist “check-out please!” She looked confused and almost swooned but managed to say: “Ohhh…I must say that you are handsome man.” Eventually the Hotel manager interfered and conveyed to the girl that I actually wanted to check-out of the hotel and I was in no need of a Mia-Noi. Payment was made, as I glanced at the change that was placed so lovingly into my hand I had a slight (very slight) feeling of guilt as I recalled the bellboys face as I shoo'ed him away last night.

Time to venture into another BKK taxi, I have told numerous taxi drivers Pi-Mor-Chit Khrap, until now every one of them has understood me. Oh no not this one; he just looked at me like I was an “alien”, I then tried Mo-Chit again nothing, OK lets try this, Satanee Bus and Satanee Rot-Mare; that did the trick as he replied “Oh Mor-Chit”. I just thought to myself this man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot and he and his family made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. During the journey, I had the pleasure of watching him pick his nose at least 20 times whilst all the time he was driving the taxi like he had just stolen it. Ah; I thought welcome back the empire of bad habits and the country of delusions of adequacy.

Nice to be home !!!!!!!!

Later
CF