Links
Our banners
Latest News
Newsletter archive
Interviews
Sileakhunt
Book Store

For anyone who is not familiar wit' de term, "pet" in Thai means hot-spicy, as in red hot chilli peppers. OK, I knows dat dere is a musical group called dat, but I is talkin' about de froot. Or is de musicians a bunch of froots too?? But I digresses...

De Thai wife likes food dat is pet, so I likes to accommodate her. I gets accommodated in udder ways in return. I has bin wokkin' on a secret weppin to cure her of dis weakness dat she has for pet foods. I scoured de Intanet using search words like "chilli", "spicy", "hot", and "peppers" combined with de word "seeds", and I got me a few interestin' results. Cuttin' de long story short, I got me a few packs o' red savina habanero chilli seeds, and germinated a few. Got 2 fertile plants, and harvested de first fruit of de crop dis afternoon.

Dese red savina habaneros is supposed to be de pettest of de pet, de firewater dat can be diluted to make strong whisky, sorta thing; rocket fuel... Dey looks reel innosent, sorta like a crumpled bit o' red paper rolled up inna boll. But I has bin told dat dey is evil fuckers, so I wuz reel careful wit' dem.

Bein' de gentelman dat I is, I tells wife dat dey is probberlee kinda spicy. She grabs de 7" bonin' knif dat was handy an' slices one, holds it up to her nose for a sniff, den sez dat it smells reel good. So she dumps 6 of dem evil little beasts into the mortar and pounds dem wit' de pestle for a few minutes, then dumps in de slivered papaya. After she has done de job wit' her pok-pok, she dumps de result on a plate and cooks de pad Thai for everyone.

While she was doin de poundin', I wuz a few rooms away, and de smell wuz kinda eye-waterin', even at dat distance. I gotta wonder how she wuz feelin' about dese new froots. OK, she lets us know dat de dinner is ready, so I goes into de dinin' room, an' de tears starts rollin' down my cheeks. She has dis big smile on her dial, and de first t'ing she attacks is de pok-pok.

She gets dis strange look on said dial, sorta like de look of startled bewilderment on de face of an artificially inseminated cow, wonderin' "how did dis happen?". I wuz hurryin' down my pad Thai as fast as I could, 'coz I had an ideea of wot was gonna happen. Yea, an' sho' enuff, she had to spit out de first mouthful. But not as fast as I orig'nally thot.

But she's a tough ol' soldier, she is, an' no little red froot is gonna beat her taste buds. She gets a tissue, cleans up de mess, and goes back fo' another bite o' de cherry - so to speak. Dat's when de tears really started to roll. Looked to me like she weren't winnin' de battle, coz her eyes wuz waterin' somethin' fierce, and I starts to giggle a bit, den my tears start rollin' wit' my guffaws.

She wisely gives up de fight wit' dem little wrinkled red berries and gets a mess o' yoghurt to calm her mouth a bit. Eventually, she starts to smile, and den tells me who she t'inks should be "our" next victim.

Dere's dis coot what comes into de restaurant who t'inks he is more Thai dan de Thai staff, and can eat petter dan said staff. Mebbe he can, we'll find out. Next harvest in a few days.

Wife had cut a few lime bits for us to all squeeze ova de pad Thai, and dammit, she used de same knife dat she used to cut de habanero chili for her sample sniff. De lime bits wuz pet! I had been conscripted to pluck de stalks off dem froots. I washes my hands reel thorough-like after, but a few hours later, I needed to take a leak, and de nut-bags started burnin'. Evil li'l berries! I'll use hygienic gloves next time.