Living with a Thai Girl - The Idiot Sells the Car

Not sure if anyone has seen my story about me buying, or trying to buy a car, here in Thailand. We bought a second hand Volvo in the end, and after learning to crash politely as only Thai girls can do so sweetly, we've, eerr, she, has decided to move onto a new car.

Oh, and also because the Volvo was beginning to have “problems”, not least being electrical; a dangerous sign something tells me.

That and the fact the temperature gauge doesn't work, the car overheats, almost cracked a cylinder head, the on board computer was rewired wrong, the car stops suddenly at low revs, and the wiring keeps shorting, and it's flat out traveling 500 Kms with out a drama.

It's a fine day in Sakon Nakorn, and we plan the sale of the Volvo, and purchase of a new car. While the DarLek works in Bangkok, she is better known in Sakon Nakorn, and can easily get a car loan from the local Toyota dealership, of course, that's based upon the silent understanding I'd be making the repayments.

OK – I'll be honest, there is no way the Volvo will be able to get back to Bangkok in one piece!

So off she goes alone, well without me, wisely I think, it's a Thai thing, let them work it out.

I sit back, open some cold beer Chang, and watch the DarLek drive off to negotiate the said sale and purchase of cars. I like my village, quite, peaceful, full of picturesque scenes, along with picturesque locals, and near endless supply of small people who go to the shop regularly to refill my beer Chang and ice supplies for a 5 Baht tip.

Off they go in the Volvo, for nothing is done without a small crowd in Thailand, negotiating a car sale and purchase requires family to watch the negotiations, interjecting at suitable moments, and admiring the fine display of intellectual combat and wit that a good negotiation has.

DarLek is particularly well suited, with a wicked wit, she's perfect to do this alone, well, with out the Farang.

We paid 300 000 Baht for the Volvo, spent maybe 50 000 keeping it alive, barely, so selling it 6 months later seems a good idea. Nice car, S40, leather seats, comfortable, smooth ride, dodgy radio, larger than I expected inside, dark blue, such a nice colour to continually keep clean. Yes, I know, every 500 Kms it breaks down.

The DarLek returns to the village, sits down, “I think we buy new car, Vios, nice, Black, 650,000, pay less than 10,000 a month.”

“Why less than 10 000 a month?” I ask.

“They give me 300 000 for Volvo!”

“EXCELLENT!!!!”

I am grinning, not from the 3 tall beer Chang, but we are getting the monkey off our back, good riddance to that piece of crapped out Volvo! Our money back (almost) FARKKKK!!!!

DarLek grins too, we're pretty happy with this sudden change in fortune.

“Monday, (this is Saturday) we drive there, mechanic, he drive around the block, sign paper, drive away in black Vios, leather seats, air bag, very safe car.”

Now I won't bore you with the details, but we could have either bought the lowest end model above, the Altos, or the Vios, the highest end Vios, which I was told had more room than the old model in the back (true too!).

Monday comes and off we go, seems that we have about 27 people packed into the Volvo to watch it being sold and drive away in the Vios, not as many as usual, school was in. We arrive at the Toyota Dealership, park the car, listen to the electric fan run as it cools the engine down after it's turned off, and sit down in front of a mound of paper work.

We sit, back to the Volvo, smiling at the salesman, and wait for the mechanic to arrive.

We sit and watch the salesman get very excited; neither of us know, nor understand, what he's saying. We frown, he's sputtering up a storm, gesturing wildly, I look at the DarLek, she looks at me, we shrug; neither of us understand him, a child screams, points behind us, we turn … flames are flying out from under the hood of the car, people are running to it with fire extinguishers; I have the remote, click door open.

People rush to the car, pop the hood, more spraying of fire extinguishers, we sit there calmly, nothing we can do as we watch 300,000 baht burn.

Calmly DarLek talks to the sales team, who are stunned, the mechanic arrives to take it for a test drive but oddly doesn't seem to think he can get it to start … chicken!

She chats quietly; they will try and sell it for scrap. We take a tuk tuk home, a little subdued.

Wednesday we get a call, someone will pay 150,000 for the car, “TAKE THE MONEY” we shout; that as our new deposit, we are now owners of a shiny black Vios, that my wife, the DarLek, still manages to dint ever so politely once a month. Repayments: 10,000 baht a month.

All in all everyone agrees it's the idiot's fault. I should never be allowed near cars being bought nor sold.