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Billy's place was the Gao Sip Hotel. That's Ninety in English. And just to emphasise the point there were big red letters saying "90" outside of it. It was a whitewashed motel style of place sited next door to a colourful looking sing song bar in a grit road alley a few feet from Ratjadamnoen Klang. The sing song bar caught my attention before the Gao Sip. A combination of glossy new and bluish fading photos of female artistes were posted outside the black glass windows and there was a little piece of left over tinsel around the door along with a string of multicoloured fairy lights flipping on and off. Billy told me that the Gao Sip was in a perfect position for all rich Thai blokes to take the artistes somewhere for a quick fuck.

The office or reception of the Gao Sip was sealed off behind the kind of glass that you see in banks and post offices in bad areas. Inside a very small and very old looking Chinese lady was watching some dynamic Chinese soap opera with lots of over-colourful costumes and leaping about. She was so still in front of the TV that she looked as though she might just have had a stroke and died. I rang the bell once and then again before she even looked our way. I tried explaining in my limited Thai that I wanted a room but she just looked at me like I was a lowlife dirty farang piece of shit who she had no time trying to understand. I let Ae do the talking and simply handed over the money.

Billy chuckled. "See you later mate. My room's number 237." After which he and Bun and Pow disappeared up the stairwell.

"You wait here." The old lady said in perfect Chinatown English before picking up a telephone. The idea did cross my mind that there was some dark purpose to this phone call but she was just calling the help. A young man whose face was in the ravages of teenage acne arrived with the key, fresh linen, towels and a couple of bars of soap so small that you could lose them in your armpit. He was lively enough and showed us the way to our room across the courtyard.

As the young man fitted the fresh linen to the bed, Ae slid her watch off placing it on the formica surface of a long table under a mirror that looked like the type you might find in a theatre dressing room for the girls or the boys of the chorus. Ae caught herself in the mirror and turned to look at her ass as if checking it was still in place snug in skin tight lime green hot pants. Having checked that she unhooked her earrings before sitting on the bed as the young man left with a knowing grin.

Ae looked at me and pulled off her shirt. It seemed nothing to her to sit there topless. Her breasts not so big. Her nipples dark as chocolate standing out. For a minute she said nothing at all. And I said nothing right back. She smiled a smile that said everything and knew everything before she took one of the towels and smelled it for freshness like someone in an ad for fabric softener. Then she got up and walked into the bathroom.

I sat on the bed exactly where she had been sitting and looked at myself. I wasn't the same man any more. I was someone else. I wasn't the diligently hardworking and honest man I thought. I was here in a cheap short time hotel with a woman I'd known for a couple of hours. I'd already been with a go-go bargirl from Patpong and was due to marry another. I hadn't set out to be a sex tourist but when I told this story it would be pretty clear that this is what I was.

I took five hundred baht and a condom from my wallet and placed them both on the bedside table. Money hadn't been mentioned but there it was anyway.

Ae came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her waste. Her body and hair looked dry as a bone. I took my turn in the shower leaving my clothes in an unruly tangle on the floor. When I came out they were folded neatly and piled on a chair. Ae was lying completely naked on the bed. Her body looked so dark against the white sheets. She almost looked unreal.

I moved over her and her arms reached up to pull me close. Her skin was softer than satin. And as soon as I was on top of her she wrapped her legs around me so that there was nothing between us but my towel. And that was slipping away. I could feel my dick against her cunt through the towelling.

We kissed for a while. She sucked on my tongue and I sucked on hers and I could feel the siren song of her pussy coaxing me in.

I pulled away the towel and tried to continue kissing her without entering her. It didn't last. In seconds I was deep and unprotected inside her hot soft flesh. It should have mattered. I should have been clambering for the condom. But I wasn't. It was almost as though this moment was the culmination of my entire life. Slipping deep into the cunt of this beautiful girl as she sighed a sweet sigh and kissed me even harder than before. We fucked a while. She finished or seemed to finish. I held back. It felt good to be hard inside her and I didn't want it to end.

Her arms were laced with the scars of self harm or suicide attempts - I didn't know which. I noticed them but didn't really look. Most of the bargirls I'd met seemed to have something like this and it seemed somehow rude to ask. But Ae had one other scar. Across her neck a huge light scar. It even had the white shadow of stitches long healed. I touched it with my fingertips.

"You like ?" She said.

"How did you get it ?"

"A doctor make."

"An accident ?"

"No. He make for save my life."

"I mean before the doctor."

"I make myself."

"Why ?"

"I don't know why." She said. "Maybe I feel bad or something."

I wanted to know more but I could tell that this was not a line to pursue. I kissed the scar and she sighed this deep almost primal sigh and my dick suddenly felt like steel. Her cunt felt tight around me and I really needed to keep fucking. She pushed me lightly and I moved around so that she was on top of me. She sat up with me deep inside her and leaned back sliding her cunt up and down until it was driving me insane. Then I threw her back and started fucking her again this time with my teeth against her neck biting where the knife had cut her. Biting as though the scar might open again and fill my mouth with blood. She came again and this time I came too. And it seemed to go on for so long that I thought my heart would explode.

Afterwards we lay very still. We were both hot and wet and it really didn't seem to matter. We just lay there and she stroked my hair and kissed my neck and shoulders.

"Jo... Why you have madam already."

"Who said I did ?"

"But you do."

"Kind of. not exactly."

"Are you a bad man Jo ?"

"The worst."

"I'm bad girl too. But I not have boyfriend. I'm free."

We turned over so she was on top of me again and I felt wetness from both of us spreading across my crotch.

"If you not believe I don't have a boyfriend you can give me flim flam."

"What's a flim flam ?"

She showed me her neck. The side that didn't have the scar. "I want you give me."

"A love bite."

"You want ?"

She laughed and echoed "You want ? Maybe I give you a flim flam. Then you can tell your wife I give you. And she kill you. Then I don't have to think about you any more."

"And I suppose if I'm not dead you'll think about me every day."

"Yes Jo. I think about you every day."

"Same as me. I'll think of you every day."

"Bullshit man. You forget me tomorrow afternoon."

"Never."

She laughed and started kissing and biting my chest. "Bullshit man. You forget me when you go home to your madam."

"I'll never forget you."

She crawled up me again and started sucking on my neck "Okay." She said. "Then I give you flim flam and every time you see you can remember me." She sucked on my neck a minute and then pulled away. "You not scared ?"

"Terrified."

"Okay I make sure."

"Go ahead."

She sucked my neck for a couple of seconds and then clasped her fingertips around my dick which, surprisingly enough, was erect again.

"If I make like that then maybe your wife she can take this one."

"That's a risk I'm prepared to take."

"Then you crazy farang."

"You calling me crazy."

She nodded, smiling.

I leapt up and jumped on top of her so she was lying underneath me again. "You think I'm crazy ?"

"Yes. Verry crazy."

I slipped inside her again and she laughed so I pulled out, rolled her on her stomach and slipped inside her again from behind and like this I was lost. I pushed inside her feeling the flesh of her buttocks pushing against me and her legs spread wide. She sighed short staccato sighs over and over and over and I came again biting the skin of her shoulder.

We went to shower together. I washed her back and she washed mine and I spent an inappropriate amount of time making sure her breasts were really sparkling clean. Then I slid the soap between her legs washing around her cunt and then sliding a single finger inside her. She smiled and took my dick, semi erect again, in her fingers stroking the length of it before gently squeezing the head. "I think is too late to clean me there. If have baby have baby already." She then pushed against me so that her belly was against my dick. She tried to lift herself with my shoulders so that I would be inside her but it didn't work out.

We ended up on the bed again not minding that we were soaking it. She kissed my neck and chest and belly and then put my dick in her mouth and sucked gently on it. Once I was as hard as humanly possible she wanted to fuck again but I had this terrible urge to eat her. I pushed her back on the bed as if I was going to fuck her and I entered for a second or two before kissing my way down her body, kissing her nipples, her naval and then sinking my face against the dark lips of her cunt plunging my tongue as deep inside her as it could possible go. She moved against me as if she didn't really want this but then I let the tongue stroke softly against her clitoris and she suddenly clamped her slim brown thighs around my head and kept me there until it was all over.

We were silent for a while. We talked for a while. She made me look in the mirror while she held on to me naked and said how good we looked together.

After a few minutes of this I really wanted to fuck her again and she said "Okay" with a kind of girlish enthusiasm.

But before we got very far there was a knock on the door. Time for checkout. It didn't matter. There was all the time in the world. We both got dressed. It was almost disguised as an afterthought when Ae picked up the five hundred baht and slipped it in her purse. Then seeing the condom she took that too and said "Is mine okay ?"

"Yeah. Okay. Merry Christmas."

That same condom got passed on, a few weeks later to a friend of Ae's with whom I ended up using it.

You have to love the irony.