Take It Easy - It's Only Life

It's strange when I think about it sometimes. I love a woman much younger than myself, who I'll probably really never truly know. We have so little past together, no common culture. Our lives have been lived so differently. Love her I do though. It’s just so easy to do. And now I live in another world with my new wife. But whom do we ever really know? My first wife I knew from the age of 13. We were together nearly 24 years, and in the end I realized I never really knew her. Somehow I feel this is my fault. Don't ask why. It’s a Western male guilt trip most likely. How can we ever really truly know someone fully? We show the world what we want to show, and hide what we want or need to hide from the eyes and minds of even those we love deeply. It's human nature I guess; that fear of rejection, the fear of exposing our hearts only to be hurt. We live our lives alone, wrapped in the façade we present to the outside world.

And in the end we die alone, truly alone. For no one other soul can do the dying for you. No one else can follow you and join you in life's final mysterious adventure, the grand, yet lonesome, transition of death. It's not a team sport.

I enjoy these Thai village people, these simple rustic Thais. They keep me amused and in the present, not regretting the past that cannot be changed, or worrying about the future which may never come. Their antics and joking stir me from my morbid thoughts. The simple lives they lead are full and real, and they have simple complications of everyday problems that occupy their days, and let them sleep in peace when they close their eyes at night. They derive so much pleasure from the simple act of eating. More than any one other people I know, even the Italians. They remind me constantly that it's not good to, "Think too much". I believe they are right, sometimes. I do think too much, but can't seem to stop for some reason, even to the point where I can make myself sick. Depressed.

According to others here in the states I don't think, or worry, enough. "You never seem to worry about anything!" say family and friends, and that was before I went to Thailand.

Now they just think me insane. I've "gone native" they say. Is that good or bad?

I can’t win. The Thais want me to lighten up; the westerners want me to get serious.

Life is short. Enjoy it now. Are you happy? No? Why? If you are not happy then you are doing something wrong I think. Time to change your life, maybe even your location on this planet. Buddha may be wrong you know! This may well be the only life you get. Live it happy.

I try not to think too much. Can you get me another beer Chang please, darling?

Let's eat!

Ah, see! I mentioned food. They are all smiling! I love these people.

Cent