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decreaseAs usual, one night in July '97 a friend and myself were sitting outside at the Blue 2 beer bar on Pattaya beach road downing a few brews. After they tore down the Black Mouse beer bar a lot of the help that we have become friendly with went to work at the Blue 2. So naturally we started hanging there whenever we get over, for a few nights anyway, just to see our friends.
We were all sitting around drinking and playing the typical beer-bar games. The bar next to us (for the life of me now I can't remember the name of it -- Chang Bar maybe) was having a birthday party for one of its bar girls. As the party wore on the girls were getting drunker and bolder, singing along with a band hired for the occasion, dancing on the tables, and urging each other on to show some tits and ass. Some of the girls were knockouts, and my friend and I were having a good old time watching this merriment and doing a little urging on of our own. Some of the ladies were getting pretty outrageous and the party was definitely rockin'!
All of a sudden the lot of them jump up and start yelling and pointing down the street. My friend and I stand up and walk to the curb to look at whatever the hell it is they are pointing at. Now, here comes this young white guy running like hell right down the middle of the street, dodging traffic without missing a step, going full tilt boogie, and just apumpin' his legs as fast as they could go! I turned to my friend as the kid passed and said, "Damn, that's the fastest I've ever seen a white boy run in my whole life."
We laughed, wondering out loud to each other what the hell that was all about, when the girls all start screaming and pointing down the road where the kid had just come from.
"What the hell?" we say, and turn again to see what this new ruckus is all about.
Here comes a young Thai guy running like a bastard down the street, screaming his fool head off, and waving a huge axe over his head, trying to catch up to the speedy white kid, and obviously intent on creating some serious mayhem if he ever catches up. You should have heard the little ladies screaming and urging him to greater efforts. Blood thirsty little she-devils!
Well, the cops showed up a few minutes later, but we never did hear if anyone was caught (or killed). We turned back to our beverages and laughed about how that should be made into an Olympic event. The axathon, or something to that effect. We settled back and relaxed, watching the girls and the nightlife fall back into it's routine, and swigged our beers.
And we marveled at our seeing the Fastest Man in Thailand. TIT! (This Is Thailand!)
Thingfish
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