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I do not wish to talk about my Christmas holidays on the Island of  Phuket. I had a good time on my favorite beach, good meals with my friends, etc.

I wish to explain; as best as I am able, what happened on Boxing Day, December 26th, the First Anniversary of last year’s Tsunami.

The plan had been to drive out to Khao Lak in Phang-Nga Province with my friend Thawatchai. Khao Lak is a resort area on the mainland. It suffered the greatest loss of life during the Tsunami, 4225 people. The largest Memorial Service was to be held there, starting at 6 pm. The PM would hold a speech, religious Ministers of every denomination would say prayers. The Royal Princess who lost her autistic son and his bodyguards would speak to VIPs and invited families of Tsunami victims who had been flown in at Thai government expense. Young, 11 year old Tilley from Britain would read a poem. (The then 10 year old girl, having learned about Tsunami at school, saved over 100 people through her action at Patong Beach – she is called “Angel of Phuket”.)

Security would be extremely tight. An uninvited person like me would not get nearer to the stage than 200m.

Still on the Island of Phuket the car horn started to blare and could not be shut off. After a while Thawatchai got embarrassed; I voiced a thought that had crept to the surface of my mind. Maybe the car didn’t want to go to Khao Lak. Thawatchai’s face paled. A bit further on we stopped at the Thai Tsunami Victim Identification Site.

As I walked along the Wall of Remembrance – Victims of the Tsunami Disaster 26th December 2004 – I saw the wreaths laid down; photos put up against the wall. I took a few photos. I was all alone. In the silence around me I felt tears running down my cheeks and then I had the overpowering desire to come back here. Shortly after we drove on, the horn still blaring. Just off the island we stopped at a garage to have the horn seen to. There was nothing wrong with the system! The horn was dismantled anyway. My friend shyly confessed to me that his monk had advised him the day before not to travel to Khao Lak. Thawatchai had ignored the advice; as a friend he had wished to take me.

Was the blaring horn another signal? Now I didn’t want to carry on. My desire to return to the Victim Identification Site became very strong. I felt I needed, I absolutely had to get back there, right now.

We drove back over the bridge onto the island and on to the site. As soon as I got out of the car I felt the urgent need to pray. We found the lone resident monk at the small temple site; he led us into it.

After a short prayer I felt the monk looking at me with ever so kind expression in his eyes.

“Pebo, he wants us to meditate together. Look at him, follow his moves, breathe in deep, breathe out slowly, and repeat. He says you will have no problem.”

From past tries I know that I cannot sit in a Yoga position for more than a minute. My legs cramp up and pain makes me straighten them out.

I moved into a Yoga stance and positioned my open palms like the monk did. Then, looking at his kind face, I closed my eyes, and started breathing as directed. Soon I felt calm, calmer; my mind cleared of everything. I felt a fly slowly walking on the naked skin of my arm, an incredibly delightful feeling. Something floated in the air around me; I felt the wisps of it. Soothed by the Monk’s chanting three phrases sprang forth in my mind. I spoke them silently

with each breath and repeated them again and again. The monk’s chanting changed to whispers; I repeated my phrases. They seemed to sound louder than his whispers. Suddenly I felt something brush my cheeks, gently, very gently. Tears rolled from my eyes. My voice didn’t falter, the monk’s chants became louder again. And I felt incredible relief touch my soul. I felt a glowing happiness overtake me, a joy never experienced before. The chants again turned to whispers for a while before they got stronger in sound. I never wavered, repeated my three phrases with joy and happiness until eventually there was total silence around me. When I came back to reality I heard Thawatchai talking with the monk who looked straight at me with a knowing smile. I knew he could read me, knew what I had repeatedly spoken in my mind. He seemed proud of me and through Thawatchai told me I could become a monk anytime I wished; no need to wear a robe, just do what I had been doing for the last half hour; BE a monk.

Half an hour in a Yoga position, me? When I got up my legs felt no cramp, no strain. I felt absolutely relaxed and fine.

The monk asked me, in English, to visit him again when in Phuket.

Later Thawatchai asked me what I had been saying during my meditation. The reason for his question was that he’d never heard a monk say that one could BE a monk when in meditation. (Thawatchai was a short-time monk for 29 days some years ago - I made a photo book out of his transition – Civilian to Monk.)

You want to know what I prayed for with my three phrases during meditation?

Here they are:

• I pray for the spirits of the lost-at-sea to be set free.
• I pray for the souls of the lost to find peace.
• I pray for the visiting families, friends, and survivors to find closure.

Pebo