Dying Wish

DYING WISH

Dear Mama,
I am dying,
don't abandon me now.

Papa, dear Papa,
your daughter is dying
from sexual service.

My body can't fight it,
the disease is too strong;
I am dying.

Look around you,
my family members,
and what do you see?

A big house with some trees,
a truck and a bike,
and a telephone too.

You did call me,
quite often to tell me:
send more money, more money.

I did all I could
to do what you wanted.
I sold myself again and again.

Dear brother, the oldest,
you enjoyed the free ride
from the years of my working.

Look around, go away,
find some work for yourself,
the well has run empty from me.

I can see I repulse you,
sick as I am;
do you worry for me or yourself?

Go away, visit the temple,
make merit for me
who is dying.

Younger brother,
I am sorry,
your school days are over.

I am sick, cannot work,
cannot give you the money
to pay for tuition.

I am sorry
not to see you
grow up educated.

Younger sister,
my dear heart,
listen carefully now.

You are young and attractive,
will be beautiful soon.
Do not go to the city, don't go.

Papa hears the stories
of gold to be earned there
and he wants it from you.

They enjoy the fine pleasures
that money can buy
but ignore the true facts how to get it.

You'll work hard in the city,
earn enough to survive,
but not more.

If the family wants money
to be sent home by you
what do you think you must do?

If you work in a bar
serving drinks to the men:
you won't make it.

If you work at massage,
hard work it is too:
you won't make it.

If you work in a shop
or sell soup for a vendor:
you'll barely survive.

You look at me strange
with fear in your eyes;
you know what is coming.

To do what they want,
to show off in the village,
you must enter the darkness.

To enter this state
you must lock up your heart
and your feelings as well.

You'll be left with no honour,
your virginity gone;
and you'll cry in your sleep.

You'll wail with deep sorrow
about the things you must do
to send home the money.

Younger sister,
I beg you to listen:
do not fall into the trap.

Tell Mama and Papa
and big brother as well,
you're not going to the city.

Tell them at once
your sister is dying,
and one is enough.

You dream of a future,
maybe poor, mai pen rai,
but you will live.

You'll take care of the parents
in a way that you can
but not sell your body for gold.

I can see from your fears
that you listened to me,
now I can finally rest.

Please help me to die
in a natural way
in this, my family home.

Whatever I can see here,
or touch with my hands,
was earned with my body.

Younger sister,
please don't worry,
I'll not be much bother.

Please take care of my needs
as I go on the path
of my destiny.

Look close when you feed me,
and wash me, and change me;
be near when I die.

And promise, please promise
me and yourself
to remain a Good Girl.

Now I can die
and not have to worry
about Aids for my sister.