Girl from Upcountry

GIRL from UPCOUNTRY

My name is FON,
my mother chose it
because it was raining that day.

My family is poor,
like all those around us
upcountry in Isan.

I helped plant the rice
from an early age
on the small family plot.

I walked to my school
three long miles away
for four dreary years of my life.

Then my dad made me quit;
I had learned enough
for a girl from a village.

I started to work
serving food for a vendor
at a dusty road side stall.

I earned very little,
couldn't keep any at all,
my father just took it from me.

So as the years passed
up north-east in the country
I learned nothing new.

A young woman named Lek
came home for a visit
covered in gold and with money.

I looked at her closely,
no more pretty than I,
but very successful it seemed.

Alone I asked humbly
what she did for a job
to earn the riches on her.

I work bar serving drinks
to foreigners in the city
was all she would say.

She looked very happy,
and yet quite sad
as she walked slowly away.

I told my mother;
saw her speak once to Lek
one afternoon on a walk.

~ You must go with Lek
and work at her place. ~
the order was given to me.

Together we traveled,
young Lek and I,
to share her room in the city.

~ You'll need new clothes,
make-up and shoes;
you look like a country girl. ~

~< I don’t have any money,
I have no work;
what can I do, dear Lek? ~

~ I will make you pretty and
vouch for you; do as I say,
don't make me lose face. ~

~ I will, I won't, ~
I promised my friend who
quickly transformed me.

I couldn't recognize
the girl in the mirror;
was that me, for sure?

Lek took me to her bar;
the Mamasan liked me;
I was hired that very same day.

Shaking with fear
I took it all in
what had to be done in a bar.

I served my first drink
to an ugly old man
who touched me on my bum.

I felt angry and ashamed
to have been fondled
by this old stranger.

~ Smile at him, stay close,
he'll give a good tip ~
Lek whispered to me.

And so hours passed,
being touched serving drinks
by mostly older men.

Day after day and
week after week I gave in
to this humiliation.

I made good money in tips,
sent most of it home;
and my heart bled with shame.

And then came the day
when an ugly old man
took a real fancy to me.

He urged my friend Lek
to straight talk to me
about his fancy desires.

~ Think of the gold
that he will buy and you’ll wear. ~
Lek bugged me again and again.

~ I'm a virgin,
have never been kissed,
I am a good girl. ~

~ Don't be a fool,
he'll pay a big price,
for truly being your first. ~

~ Make him feel guilty,
so he'll keep you around,
and buy gold for you. ~

~ What about me,
my honor, my heart,
committing this sin? ~

~ My friend, you're young now,
you're beautiful too, but…
for only a few short years.

You're 18 years old,
you're now in your prime,
so please don’t waste it at all.

Your family goes hungry,
the rice crop is poor,
you must do your part.

Your young brother wants to be a monk
but he has not the money
to buy a yellow robe.

Your older brother gets threatened
to pay up his debts
from losses at gambling.

Must I go on and on,
to tell you the truth
about your family woes?

It's now up to you,
to bring prosperity
to your family.

Don't let them lose face
all over the village
because of your silly pride.

Now you know what to do,
harden your heart,
and think… only of gold. ~

I shivered and shook,
forgot who I was;
I just wanted to die in my sleep.

The old man he hurt me, he shamed me
and he made me cry
out my anguish in pain.

He said he was sorry,
felt remorse and elation,
knowing to have been the first.

I forgot Lek's advice
to ask for some gold,
to get as much as I could.

The old man was a kind one,
good-hearted as well;
he smiled kindly at me.

He bought a gold necklace,
a bracelet to match,
to thank me for using my body.

He then taught me the sex
which I couldn't imagine,
but he liked very much.

He bought me dresses and skirts,
and shoes and shirts;
things he thought I would like.

~ Ask for more gold,
more gold from this man. ~
my friend Lek urged me.

~ Your tourist is rich,
get as much as you can
before he flies back to his country. ~

More gold came my way
and cash money as well
from this man who desired me.

~ I'll have to leave soon,
return to my country, ~
he told me with tears in his eyes.

~ I'll give you more money,
another necklace as well.
Please don't forget me. ~

Soon after he left me,
the innocent one he'd conquered;
he left with real tears in his eyes.

He'd paid a big price for my body;
six baht weight in gold, and
he left me some notes with three zeroes.

Lek spoke to my family,
told of my good fortune,
didn’t ask me at all.

Soon after the family called:
~ we need, I need, I want,
he wants, they want ... ~

Does anybody in my family care
what I have to do
to satisfy all their needs and wants?