Limericks for a Pattaya Bargirl

This limerick generator will generate hundreds of different limericks, though admittedly they are all a bit ‘samey’. All you have to do is choose any line from each of the five sections to make a limerick (line 1 is always the same). Any combination of lines will work (after a fashion) but some work better than others. Some sample limericks are given at the end. Note that the rhymes work best if you use the British pronunciation of ‘Pattaya’, stressing the second syllable. The Americans I know stress the first syllable and Thais seem to stress the last syllable.


1
I met a bargirl in Pattaya

2
Who said she had posed in Esquire
So pretty, I couldn’t deny her
Who begged me to barfine and try her
Who was an inveterate liar
No other was meaner or slyer
Who wished a farang to acquire

3
But I ran out of luck
But she stole my last buck
But she ran out of pluck
But she called me a schmuck
But she hid in a nook
But we got in a ruck

4
In her boyfriend’s tuk-tuk
When we went for a f**k
When I asked for a s**k
And my dongle got stuck
When I said, ‘Can I look?’
And turned into a crook

5
And now she is going to retire
And now she is back in the mire
From the frying pan into the fire!
And now she is aiming much higher.
I tell you, that bargirl is dire!
And now she is wiser but shyer.


Sample Limericks:

I met a bargirl in Pattaya
Who said she had posed in Esquire
But she called me a schmuck
When I asked for a s**k
I tell you, that bargirl is dire!

I met a bargirl in Pattaya
No other was meaner or slyer
But she stole my last buck
When we went for a f**k
And now she is going to retire.

I met a bargirl in Pattaya
Who begged me to barfine and try her
But I ran out of luck
And my dongle got stuck
And now she is wiser but shyer.

© Bangkok Byron, 2007. All rights reserved by the author.