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increase
decreaseBangkok Don Juan
Book the Second
Canto the First
Starfishing
I
Jim’s had enough of Blighty so he’s booking
A flight by Eva Air to old Siam.
His porno tapes and DVD’s he’s chucking
Into the wheelie bin thinking: “I am
Fed up with these: I want to do the f...fun things that they do;
I want those Thailand hotties, so why am
I wasting time, while dissolution spreads,
On maiden aunts instead of maidenheads?”
II
Then on a chance suggestion, aiming higher,
Inspired by thaianxiety.com,
Jim thought that this time he would try Pattaya,
For he had read you could see many a nom
And just as many hoi as you require:
In other words, the girls stripped with aplomb.
Jim liked to sit and stare at female nudity
And didn’t think it in the least a crudity.
III
For, after all, the poet Blake once said:
‘The nakedness of woman is the work
Of God.’ ‘Especially in my bed’
Jim would have added. It was quite a perk
To think that God approved what he wantéd.
Though little knew he this was but a quirk:
Blake’s proverb is ironic - who can tell
The meaning when they’re called, “Proverbs of Hell”?
IV
He booked into a place on Soi 13,
Where, lio sai, it led to Walking Street
Where all the bars agogo may be seen
And all the freelancers you’d care to meet.
And, lio kwa, there was another scene:
Sois 6 to 8 with beer bars replete.
Some said the girls were 4,000 in number:
That meant a lot of work - no time to slumber!
V
Jim thought he would begin with S _ _ _ _ B _ _ _
Because he’d read the girls were very cute,
Nubile and pulchritudinous - though maybe,
Arrogant (one website said) to boot.
Outside, a photograph of every lady
Showcased each one in skimpy bathing suit.
Jim gave each photograph the third degree
And set his heart on number thirty-three.
VI
The real girl was better than the picture
(Just like a meal is better than the menu).
Jim called her and was really glad he picked her,
And that he came to this specific venue.
She danced stark naked - no clothes to restrict her,
And others envied him - because those men knew
She was the prettiest dancer in the room -
(Although she thought her farts smelled like perfume.)
VII
Jim, as a boy, enjoyed a spot of angling;
And chasing girls was similar - well, quite -
They swim around the bar while you are dangling
Your bait (your wallet) hoping for a bite.
She takes the bait and very soon you’re wrangling:
Short time? Long time? Her tip for the night?
Tiddlers no more, he’d caught the biggest fish,
Which, when f*cked cooked would be a tasty dish.
VIII
Her name was Sau; her body was petite,
Her waist was slim, but her black eyes were big,
As were her tits and hips (but not her feet) -
A combination Jim could really dig,
He asked her if she’d like to go to eat,
But she said, “No, I’d rather have a cig!”
It almost put him off, but then her tits,
Wobbling as she spoke, thrilled him to bits.
IX
Acting on advice he’d read online,
He took Viagra - only for insurance
(He knew his wedding-gear was working fine
As he had tested it beyond endurance);
Also, because she thought herself, big time,
God’s gift to man, he needed reassurance.
Pill swallowed - and Sau finished with her fag, her
Phone, the mini-bar - he tried to shag her.
X
She lay there like a very pretty starfish,
As if to say, “Come on and do your worse.”
Jim was dismayed, he knew full well there are fish
Out in Pattaya’s pond who will disburse
A one-girl orgy, but this under-par fish
Just lay there like a corpse inside a hearse.
Big V or no, poor Jim felt sort of jilted,
And what had been his tower of power wilted.
XI
“Oh not again!” groaned Jim. In his confusion
His only thought was - send the girl away.
And then, alone, he scoffed at the illusion
That he the part of Don Juan could play.
If Viagra could not produce suffusion,
It seemed that this old dog had had his day;
The time had come - he’d have to give up looking
In bars - and worse - he have to give up f...female company!
© Rob 2007
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