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Last night in Bangkok ’s made me humble
That curry’s made my bowels grumble
I got that pissed I tripped and stumbled
Now I’ve gone and fucked my knee

The safest bets a hair o’t’ dog
After I’ve showered and filled the bog
You wouldn’t believe the size o’ t’ log
That bottle of Carlsberg’s 60 p

Fucking great, just what your man ordered
Nice and cold, fag, piss
Watch the world go by
Beer burger, boys turn up, fag, piss beer

Fag, piss beer fag piss, fag beer piss,
Beer fag piss, beer fag piss
Beer fag, beer fag, beer fag long piss

Next bar, beer, run out of fags, cheers
Fucking Menthol, beer piss, pack o’ Marlboro
Beer fag piss, fag beer fag piss
Moving on size o’ the bill
Stalls, fat cunt blocking the pavement

Beer fag, Beer fag, it’s new this gaff
Beer fag, piss beer fag, look at the tits on her
Beer fag, cola for you, my room
How much ? I’ll have my cola back

Next bar, piss beer who’s nicked my fags
New pack of fags, beer piss, fag beer piss
Taxi

Never changes this place does it
Beer fag piss, beer fag piss
Beer fa…lovely arse, beer fag
You want drink? Yes , Come with me ? Yes
Beer, Baccadi Bleeza, fag kiss

Back to HQ lads, where’s Ollie?
Beer Baccadi Bleeza, fag kiss kiss<
Fag piss kiss beer fag
How old you 26, same me, blush (both)
Beer fag, 4 foot stuffed Tweetie Pie Bird
Beer fag Baccadi Bleeza, Cola for bird
Beer fag piss, toilet blocked feet wet
Me, her, Tweetie, Taxi driver keeping straight face (not)
Hotel me, her, Tweetie, receptionist
Where the fuck’s my key
Fat American Tourist- Bangkok sure is fun

Appendix

When I woke she looked like Peter Beardsley
And had a cleft lip