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I felt the fear knotting my stomach.
I could hear myself screaming
inside my head,
but no sound came out.
Then I woke up cold,
sweating and shaking,
with tears running down my cheeks.
For a moment I lay staring
into the darkness.
Then, still trembling,
I reached across
and turned on the lamp.
The ghosts of my dream
fled before the light.
I looked down at myself.
My body was soaked in sweat.
I checked the time -
almost five o' clock.
My mouth felt dry.
I got out of bed,
 went into the bathroom,
brushed my teeth and rinsed my mouth.
Then I looked at myself in the mirror.
My eyes were puffy.
What had the nightmare been about?
I couldn't recall,
but I surely knew I didn't want
to get caught up in it again.

I stayed up.


December 31, 2004
Hua Hin, Thailand