To His Thai ‘Good Girl’

Had we but world enough and time,
This coyness, teerak, were no crime
You by Chayo Phraya’s side
Could linger, while I by the tide
Of Humber, back in Boredomland,
Would do my best to understand.
By MSN our love would grow,
And by webcam (though it’s slow).
Through that fuzzy cam I’d gaze
At your eyes for days and days,
And years and years for the rest –
A hundred for each lotus breast;
Five hundred for your waist so slim –
But thirty thousand for your qu...
You lay there fully clothed in bed
While I lay here so frustrated.
I took you out, I bought you things,
I even bought you diamond rings.
I met your family in Isaan,
To prove that I’m a decent man.
But when I brought you to my room
You told me shyly: ‘No boom boom!’
And made a big deal that you are
A good girl, not one from a bar.
But don’t forget I’ll soon be going
On Thai Air’s chariot (a Boeing)
Which will whisk me away from you
For another month or two.
And if I do not get to try
The goods, there is no reason why
I won’t fall for a girl in Blighty
(Though I’m not usually that flighty).
So therefore, while I’m in the mood,
Try to forget that you are ‘good’.
I promise that, although I tarried,
Next time I come we will get married;
And promise (though you think I’ll not)
I’ll pay a generous sin sot.
I want to roll myself, and all
Your Thai girl sweetness, in one ball.
If you do, you’ll make me come
Again to Thailand and become
Your partner throughout all your life
When monks pronounce us man and wife.
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we can make him run
And have a lot of Thai sanuk,
Or, as we say in Yorkshire...


© Rob, 2007