Beware of Phillipine Girls, take a look at Vietnam

By : Grumpy
Views : 7512

A retired Brit, living in SE Asia for 5 years, I penned this submission because I was struck by the remarkable similarity between the behavior of Thai bar girls and their “ordinary” (non sex worker, but equally poverty stricken) Philippino sisters.

Your correspondent can report that unlike illustrious forebear Ferdinand Magellan, the modern day visitor to the Philippines is not met by naked maidens with garlands or even warrior tribesmen hurling wooden spears. Instead he is faced with doors which fall off their hinges, toilets which don’t work, tickets which invariably have the wrong date and a female community of “marital partners” known locally as Black Widows, all anxious to wed. Perhaps Piranhas would be a more appropriate description, given the mob rule which prevails

The place has a certain charm to it. On day one, feeling a bit peckish I ventured into a restaurant at midday. “What are you doing?” said an indignant proprietor “we’re having our lunch !” “come back at 2pm” ??? !!!.

They love to party. Boy do they love to party. Families will go into debt to put on a show. The streets are awash with smiling children & friendly neighbors. A modern day Magellan would be overwhelmed by pretty girls, eager ready to wed

The islands are spectacularly magnificent, crystal clear seas, overpowering fresh air, pure mountain spring water & a super- abundance of food, water & fish. Perhaps this is the problem, for indelibly entrenched in their psyche is the belief that they can live off the fat of the land without having to work. “Foreigners, plenty money” are part of the fat of the land

Survivors have to be constantly on alert. Four years ago the Presidential Jet crashed because the erstwhile pilot forgot to turn on the fuel. Typical of Philippine life. Perhaps Magellan was done in by a Phillipino Bosun who forgot to drop anchor

The nightlife of the Philippines pales by comparison with Thailand. Outside of Manila, & Cebu it is miniscule, but the Philippine girls, sponsored by their families, acquire their money by marrying foreigners on a far more grandiose scale. In any one year 1 million “tourists” arrive. A strange way to define them because “Tourists” they’re not (industry done in by terrorism). They are husbands & suitors of Philippine wives

The same considerations of Thai Bar girls apply, lying is a national imperative, Husbands find themselves supporting extended families, even whole villages, for the purposes of drinking & cock fighting

The same considerations of “face” apply, refusal to accept the buck, outrage at criticism, sideline “boyfriends” abound, they show up as the new gardener or carpenter. Mob rule comes into play when extracting money from “foreigner, plenty money” “Foreigner, come to cause trouble, make restitution”

In the Phil, physical & emotional blackmail is a social imperative, practiced & honed to perfection within childhood. New born babies are adored, their siblings mercilessly dropped, hence the intense jealousy which abounds. Ring a bell in Thailand?

In the UK I saw a lot of unhappy Phil-Western marriages, violent even, not just older men but young ones too. The husbands terrified that they’d wake up to find their children gone

In Phil I saw hundreds of nasty, violent ones. Par for the course

In my first week I was ominously warned that

  1. In the Philippines the truth has no value
  2. Put money aside for a fierce court battle for what you will initially see as a laughable accusation

These two were to come home to roost with a vengeance in the next three years

Item:

An 83 y/o man, walks with a frame, is accused of rape by a young girl (no bail). He spent three years in jail before the case was heard & thrown out as absurd. His exit would have cost $10,000, mostly payoffs, including “witnesses”. Plenty of those around

Item:

In Cagayan de Oro, Mindanao, I met an enraged German with a pen pal . On their first date she turned up with 40 relatives for a sparkling dinner. In the ensuing argument the police were called & he spent the night in jail for “insulting” Philippinos. Cost him $500 to get out, the same fee as an a mandatory lawyer to defend a charge of “criminal libel”

Item:

In my own house a resident American was rounded on by his girlfriend “buy my brother a new car”. His response ended in “**** - off” whereupon the police turned up & arrested him for rape & false imprisonment. Witnesses who didn’t know where the house actually was, or how it was constructed, testified to I’s veracity. The police refused our own testimony “foreigners causing trouble”. He spent a year in jail without trial, contracted dengue fever & was forced to cough up the standard exit fee of $10,000, shared between all concerned

Item:

In my own case my newly wedded wife was apt to slash her wrists or bang her head if I didn’t buy a relative a new cell phone. Then she would run to the neighbors to show what “I” had done, setting up the eventual sting

It was largely my own fault, I agree, for she had done this in private before the wedding. No excuses. I was dreaming. Idiot, in the end I got off lightly. Lesson learned

Those poor sods who stayed on “for the Kids” invariably got mauled

Every time I tried to flee, or lock her out, out would come the “jungle telephone” to find me or tears of remorse with neighbors, of course, brought in to witness the melee

Eventually I just planned and executed a “runners” escape, intending to stay in Phil, but my expatriate community went wild, insisting that I leave the country, knowing what was to come

It duly arrived, in the form of criminal assault charge, dozens of “witnesses”, some of them my Philippino “friends” I stayed to fight until the bitter end, but eventually through in the towel. Intending to go to Chiang Mai I followed the advice of American Pals to go to Vietnam.

How right they were! For two years now I have been very happy in Dalat, a mountain resort, the most beautiful city in the world for me. European climate, forests, lakes waterfalls, own grown fruit & vegetables. The flower capital of Vietnam. The markets & food are sensational

The Vietnamese are highly intelligent, industrious, outward looking, reliable to a fault. Something extraordinary is happening here

It seems to me that 75% of the population is between 19 – 25 , giving it a youthful vitality. In some ways it is painfully innocent. The world stood still when a teenage girl came up to me in a pool & asked me to teach her to swim, I accepted, terrified out of my wits, nodding all the while to the adults in the area. And again when another pretty teenager stopped me in the street “please take me to the pictures!” Ye gods !! Police, sting, jail. Well take her then, you miserable bastard, said my Viet pals. I tried to give her the money & exit, to no avail. No escape. Inside, nothing untoward happened except that I aged ten years. Never again, next time I’ll have an excuse ready

The Viets love to laugh. In Nha Trang the Vietnamese Navy crossed the street in front of me. Up for a stunt, I took off my hat in a grandiloquent bow. COMPANY HALT! The captain lined them up to salute me, to roars of applause from the street

Vietnam, like anywhere else, has plenty of problems. Just for a start, like Thailand, it has a pack of wolves preying on the hapless tourists. Except that they even more aggressive

But these are its great days, never to be repeated, so please take a look

In Dalat there is little or no night life, but the masseuses in any of the myriad hotel saunas will tickle your fancy, just short of full sex that is. It’s near impossible to not get groped in any of them

I have visited Chiang Mai once or twice. Sensational Night Market, great food. The folks in the market & little businesses were the salt of the earth. No side to them once they knew I was not a tourist

I got treated to the astounding sight of a pretty girl patting her boyfriends butt & pecking his cheek in public without a care in the world . He was a cop conducting the traffic at the time. A sight for sore eyes

Nice place Chiang Mai, more than worth a visit, but its too hot, too domestically oriented for me

Methinks that Western men in Philippines are up to the same game as those in Thailand. Older men, like me, trying to buy love. Not on.

Come take a look at Vietnam, extraordinary place

 

 

© Grumpy. All rights reserved by the author.


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Comments / Feedback

Star
June 4, 2008, 19:07

Used to go to the PI, Manila mostly, but as mentioned it is scam city - just checking into a hotel room in Makati Av near the bar-zone had the blighters goings, with strange telephone calls at odd hours. Took the phone out of the socket. In one hotel, far as I could tell, I was the only guest! Alarm bells ringing. Ended up totally paranoid. The security guards often lead con-artists. They don't mess around like the Thais, bullet in the head if you take the piss too much!

Never done Vietnam, but lots of reports that it is too scam city, and very aggressive with it. Assume Dalat the exception.
Dana
June 4, 2008, 19:34

Ok, I just give up . . . Thailand no good, in Cambodia you run the risk of being falsely accused of pedophilia to extract money from you, in the Philippines bogus court cases will drain your money, in the West the women are not friendly, Laos is too dangerous, etc. Where is a man to go? Has it all just become a knife fight? This is not the way I grew up. I have not got the energy for this.
akulka
June 4, 2008, 20:54

Lovely! Great observations and nice anecdotes abound! Loved the trivia about the presidential jet going down for lack of fuel! I just don't quite agree with the notion that there are no tourists. Think of Boracay. But then again, compared to Thailand and even Vietnam there are far fewer, and more confined to a number of touristic locations as the above mentioned. That's one of the reasons why I love travelling there. And no, I am in no need for a Filipina girlfriend, or heaven forbid, wife...thank you very much!
Grumpy
June 5, 2008, 09:06

Cheer up Dana ! Keep out of the tourist areas & both Vietnam & Thailand have people that are the salat of the earth
Rob
June 30, 2008, 04:47

Filipinas are even poorer than their Thai sisters which can make them even more desperate. However, in my experience there is a huge variation among individuals in most countries, and I have to say that I have met some very wonderful, loving Filipinas, one of whom is in a long-term relationship with a friend.
Grumpy
June 30, 2008, 17:39

Yes there are kind loving people in the Philippines, more than in most other nations probably. Never came across a philippino-western marriage that wasn't a nightmare though. Severe culture clash. IMHO your friend is unique
Harry Metcalf
April 30, 2009, 18:45

An excellent article that provides insight into life in both countries. Agree with Grumpy about the welcome in Vietnam. Just spent 3 days in Vung Tau and everybody wanted to speak to me, old and young alike. They gave me food and drink and asked for nothing in return. This happened in every public place I went. An overwhelming and intoxicating experience given the history of American military presence. Never before have I received a welcome quite like Vietnam. Will definitely go back and maybe give Dalat a try next time.

Expect to be ripped off by taxis, touts and women of questionable virtue - especially in Saigon, but then again I could say that about most Asian cities.
Rodger Ondat
August 28, 2009, 15:06

Is Grumpy the original poster's disposition when he (?) posted the article? It seems that Grumpy has limited his visits to only the red-light districts. No wonder he has such a disposition.
grumpy
September 1, 2009, 16:03

No Roger, my visits to Philippine Red Light didtricts were few & far between. This is mainstream Philippine life which I describe. Get involved at your peril
korski
September 2, 2009, 09:31

This is very much an overblown negative view of Filipinos vis-a-vis Thais. Filipinas, for all their shortcomings, are an order of magnitude better as possible mates than Thai women. As for the Vietnamese--ugly predators, and talk to expats who have been there for years and they tell you they don't want anything to do with a Vietnamese relationship. No doubt there are good Vietnamese, but virtually all Westeners I have met do not have kind things to say for the people. The place is colorful, but that doesn't carry life day to day.

Have spent several days in Dalat. Glad you like, I find it is much overrated, and nothing special.
Grumpy
September 2, 2009, 16:07

"The World according to Korski" ??? Not a world I subscribe to. You and I are from different Universes
Robert
September 2, 2009, 19:11

Sorry grumpy. I gotta agree with Korski. My personal experience mirrors his exactly on this issue. Filipinas in general make FAR better mates than Vietnamese, who on the whole i have found to be extremely devious and indeed predatory. Thais come somewhere in the middle. Individual exceptions abound of course, and your mileage may vary. But as a general rule it holds true.
Grumpy
September 3, 2009, 06:58

I beg to differ. The Phillipines has magnificent Islands and friendly, fun loving girls. But by dint of their culture, they make nightmare wives

I wish that you could read the sackful of mail from my Stickman days "I wish to God that I'd read your stories before, rather than after"

My story was mean't as a much needed warning to the innocent

Can't comment on Vietnamese wives married to Western Men. Not many about, their parents wisely banning them

korski
September 4, 2009, 04:28

"they make nightmare wives"

Could you explain exactly what makes them nightmare wives, and how big your sample is. Have you had any interactions with Filipinas?

Thanks.
Grumpy
September 4, 2009, 07:24

Korski, this exchange is beginning to make me live up to my nom de plume, not an appetising prospect

Unless you've lived all your life in a subway your mother should have told you that marriage in your own culture is difficult enough. Made in a Pandoras box of cross cultural values, near impossible. IMHO the Philippines is the most alien culture in Asia, albeit couched in the English language, which they're good at

Plenty of Neanderthal's coursing their way through Dalat. First question, always "Do Vietnamese girls make better wives than Thais, Khmers et al" It's an infantile idiotic question, not worthy of an answer

I can't speak for a younger generation so my attention is focussed on the Grandad's of this world, who, like me attempt to find happiness by buying a young Asian girl. It's an impossible dream, a road to hell, a surefire bet for disaster. Since Grandpa's form the bulk of Philippine - Western marriages, it is this to which my attention is given

In a 10 year relationship with the Philippines, two living there I witnessed 1,000's of such marriages, all of them rancid. No exceptions, even young western men came to grief

I saw two, just two, with some measure of success. Both of young girls transported to the west to learn a different culture. Both fought bitter hourly battles with their husband's for four years before a ceasfire was arranged. Both said they loved their husbands & children now, but would never have gone through it had they known

We are just walking ATM machines to them, owned lock stock & barrel by an extended family of 30-40 people. When Auntie presses the cash button & it doesn't function then out will come the tricks. Nasty ones

When it packs up it (you) will get attacked by her entire community, for mob rule is their number one cultural imperative

Inside Phil, every Grandpas wife has a young Phillipine lover, I can assure you. It's considered normal

Inside every Philippine home also lies a culture more strange than anything to be seen in Star Trek. It would take me a book or two to describe it

Are you listening, all you Grandpas out there ?

If you wish to enjoy life in Asia, then I implore you to erase all thoughts of pair bonding from your psyche, from any nation that is

There's plenty of boom boom around should you so desire it

I try hard through these pages to show how it's possible to have a riotously enjoyable life without a "little lady" by your side

True of just about anywhere in Asia, I suspect, not just my much loved Dalat
Rodger Ondat
September 4, 2009, 10:17

Grumpy said that "every Granpas wife has a young lover". Now that would be an exageration wouldn't it? Imagine Grandma cavorting with some young hot stud. OOOO!!!! exciting!!! YO! grandmas!!! Here I come!!!

Really Grumpy - Get a life!!!
Sean Bunzick
September 4, 2009, 19:11

Well, THIS has been an interesting little story, hasn't it?
I've gotten to know Grumpy over the last year via e-mail and he's told me some wonderful stories about Vietnam.
Korski, my full apologies but "ugly" Vietnamese co? Sure, I saw a few when I was in Saigon, Vung Tau and Binh Duong teaching English this past winter but most of the girls I met were as attractive as their Thai cousins and they ARE a lot of fun to be with. The biggest headache is that I just don't take to the Vietnamese language as well as I do Thai but I enjoyed my time in the 'Nam. Yeah, the Viets ARE pushier in certain ways but you don't find this in Nana Plaza where most of you seem to live or my favorite Toilet of a Beach: Pattaya? Same-same, mistah. (Sorry, but I live upcountry in Chiang Mai and yes, we have plenty of Take-Everything 'ying up there, too)
As far as Filipinas go, I had a wonderful time with them back in '93 when I was on Mindanao trying to do some business. They are pretty girls and very friendly but I found that a lot of what Grumpy said is true. Also, the Bible-banging BS of one's average Filipino makes me prefer the Buddhism of Thailand and Vietnam. All three countries have gorgeous women so enjoy all three groups and try not to generalize too much;-)
Dana
September 4, 2009, 20:54

Ok, my turn. The part of the 'marry a Philippine' equation I never read about is Catholicism. I am not going to spend the rest of my life going to Mass on Sunday and I am not going to spend any time arguing about it. Just a non-compute.
____________________________

And now for something different:

"Of all the icy blasts that blow on love, a request for money is the most chilling and havoc-wreaking." (Gustave Flaubert)
grumpy
September 5, 2009, 06:57

Grumpy

I mean't to say "Grandpas young wife", of course. Why don't you get a life, sounds as if you need it
JayJay
October 13, 2009, 21:17

Maybe I'm Naive... But I've been living in Vietnam for 5 years and I can tell you one thing.. if you look in the wrong places you will find the wrong girls.. The vietnamese girls that I have met and known are the most wonderful, caring, loving girlfriends I have ever had. And you don't find them in bars or hair or on the beach...
Grumpy
October 18, 2009, 16:15

JayJay This article is about Philippine girls, not their radically different sisters across the South China Sea

I agree with your description of Vietnamese girls but they are also stubborn, narrow minded & come with a constitution made of steel, not marshmallow

If you want permission to do something in a Vietnamese household then Papa will invariably say "I will ask Mama & let you know"

The female of the species is "the force" in Vietnam. Watch this space as they follow the path of China & power Vietnam into becoming an industrial Giant
sisterray
October 19, 2009, 19:38

I have a date with a Phillipina tomorrow night. She is catholic. Religious. Beautiful. Rich. Literate. Is there anything I should be aware of?
As far as I can see Philipinas beat Thai girls in the dating stakes. I know few Thai girls that speak English well. Flips are easier to speak to.,
Star
October 20, 2009, 03:07

It is surely Filipina and using the expression Flips is disgusting, and I don't care if they use it themselves or not. I hope she is well educated enough not to annoyingly truncate words and so sound about six years old... all these generalisations are of course totally irrelevant as it is mostly down to luck or karma, as in being in the right place at the right time...
Marc Holt
October 20, 2009, 04:42

Sisterray, Flips may be easier to speak to, but I always found that their Catholicism was always a barrier between us. Eventually, it would intrude and that would be the end of it as far as I was concerned. I'm sorry, but give me an atheistic Bhuddist any day. At least they don't suffer paroxysms of guilt. Nor do they constantly demand to know when you are going to marry them.
Grumpy
October 20, 2009, 08:57

Enjoy ! Just don't get on a marriage track
sisterray
October 20, 2009, 13:01

Sorry I first heard the word 'Flips' used by C. Bukowski in a short story. I didn;t think it was offensive, is it like the word 'Farang'?
So from what you guys are saying, Philipinas are generally focussed on marriage? - I get the impression (maybe wrongly) that the women are easily mainuplated by each other and the good lord. I knew two who ran a teaching agency here. One was a butch lesbian. The other was obviously not tom but seemed to be under her control. Very strange situation indeed.
To be honest I'm bored with most Thai women. Finding one that reads, isn't racist and money worshipping is a needle in a haystack. And I'm not just talking about bargirls. Gave that crap up years ago.
Grumpy
October 21, 2009, 07:33

Sisterray, Philipina girls are raised to please, no matter who they are dealing with, no matter what the subject . She will bend, amoeba style to whatever you desire, then do a "u" turn with whoever is next on the Agenda
BKKSW
October 21, 2009, 11:21

"Sorry I first heard the word 'Flips' use"

This is in the same class as spic, kike, nigger, fishhead, jap, slope, and so on..

Unfortunately casual tourists, or perhaps travelers who don't mind using such terms, pick this stuff up and spread it around.. until others think it's acceptable.
Star
October 21, 2009, 15:40

No it is probably just me being an old-fashioned guy, just don't like the constant laziness of the Filipinos is ever shortening words and you will probably find that the locals do actually use Flips themselves - in a few years time it will be down to Fi's I expect.

It will be interesting to hear your report on your time in the PI, anyway, as I am planning an excursion there end of Nov - not having gone for some seven years. All I would say, is try to avoid Manila! Similar to yourself, I am pissed off with the Thais.
sisterray
October 22, 2009, 15:22

Grumpy you were spot on with your last comment.

A typical submissive South East Asian female who would do anything to avoid confrontation until your back is turned. a noi go.
I might have to consider Indian Thais next.
Filip
November 7, 2009, 21:57



This is such an uninformed and silly generalization of Filipino women based on a few (read: two) cases. Good thing the world isn't full to bursting with run-of-the-mill evolutionary-chain-losing idiots looking for love with their cash. How do you expect them to treat you like they love you when you know in the first place that the only reason why they even LOOKED at you is coz you're brandishing your cash like it's overflowing?

I'm sorry, my Grandma's a Filipina and Grandpa's an American, and their marriage lasted until they both passed away. Mom grew up in the US, married a Philippine-raised dad and they've been together since Papa passed away. True love knows no cultural barriers. Why don't you try looking for someone with brains? Oh, right, coz no one of that kind would have you.

Granted, some of what you said were part true, given a certain context, but that doesn't mean it applies to everyone and for all situations.

Advise for readers: please don't forget to be critical and use your brains. :)
Marc Holt
November 8, 2009, 12:19

Forgive me, but I can't resist this: So we have Filip the Flip. Is that right ;-)
Grumpy
November 8, 2009, 18:40

Actually Filip, my sample, over a 15 year period is closer to one thousand such marriages, rather than the "two" which you mysteriously pluck out of the air

I neither smoke nor drink

However I do agree with your "flashing the cash" comment. Just about all these marriages fell victim to this syndrome

But this is embedded within the dating process. Filipina advertises herself as a marriage candidate for a western husband. Westener responds, exchanges letters or e-mails for a while, then takes the plunge with an intercontinental flight to meet his pen pal(s). A bit of the old Filipino "the truth is what you want to hear" is applied & we're off to the dance

Since the only reason a Filipina would contemplate marriage to a Westener is his cash, then it's hardly surprising that we get skinned. All "close to one thousand of us" that is that is

I'm not a cynical or negative man, would never dream of writing derogatory remarks about other articles on this site

If you have a Philipino sucess story to write, then I would be delighted to read it

David
December 4, 2009, 01:01

Grumpy, you are misguided. Would a marriage in farangland between a grandpa and a woman 30 years younger than him who had never left her little hick town work? Of course not! The problem is not the Philippinos, but the foreigners who marry them. Their expectations are not realistic. My wife has traveled the world and is 3 years younger than me. We get along soooooooo much better than any relationship I have had with a western woman, there is no comparison. You are too emotionally involved to give an objective opinion. There are good and bad women EVERYWHERE! Take some advice from the best woman I have ever know, if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the hell up!
Grumpy
December 8, 2009, 09:27

David. The day after my wedding to a "High Church" girl, she demanded to know when her $200,000 house & $1,000 per month allowance would be forthcoming. No finances had been discussed, and I do not remotely posess such resources

When I demurred she started the business of slashing her wrists & banging her head against rthe wall, all the while visiting the police & my Church leaders, to show them what "I" had done

This behavior was normal, "par for the course" in all the Western - Philippine marriages I came across. Even in my own Church two American Grandpas, each former Baptist Ministers, got mauled by their "High Church" Filipina wives getting impregnated by, respectively, a gardener & a policeman, whereupon they were kicked out of the homes they had paid for, one poor sob getting stabbed in the process

Mob rule was invoked & their communities turned on them

As I write, thousands of "misguided" Grandpas, even middle aged men, are lined up to enter into a nightmare by marrying a young Filipina, blissfully unaware of the hell that awaits them

I intend to convey this message until the end of time.

Capiche ?
Marc Holt
December 10, 2009, 09:00

Grumpy, good for you!
ellumbra
December 20, 2009, 10:00

Mob rule in the Philippines?

Yes - I know all about that, there does seem to be a penchant for that.
Of course, it is foolish to generalise - but smoke is usually accompanied by fire - in other words - myths are not born just for the sake of it.
harvey
January 18, 2010, 10:15

i have meet the best lady in the world but that takes time and education just like looking for a wife you must educate your self and learn or you will end up a looser, if you are stupid you will bet stupid back. just dont go to find love in the wrong places like bar girls and ones who approach you educated yourself over and over again. i have done it and can be done. cant blame troubles on all for a few that will try trick you. love can be found just do it right. i found my true love in a country of poor but happy people mostly. i was married to a western lady and would never do that again and lost more they anyone could cheat me out of in asia and that was called legal. just no answer really just educate yourself best you can.
MyExFilipina
March 15, 2010, 13:19

Go Grumpy.... you are 100% correct! Don't let anyone tell you different and don't ever stop what you are doing. I'm sure you can find an exception to every rule. There must be a happy western / Filipina marriage out there...and I'm just as sure if I keep playing the same 6 numbers I will win the lottery some day!!! I married a Filipina in met in USA. She was 19 and I was 25 so this was not your Grandpa vs Young Girl story. Everything you said could be written about my marriage. She sent ALL of my money to her family so she could look like a big shot with a rich husband! The only problem was I wasn't rich. Her mom who tried to hit me with a shoe the first time I ever saw her (because I wasn't good enough for her daughter) called the police on me for trying to "kidnap" her baby but since I wasn't in the Philippines no mob rule was in effect and we moved in together against her mother's wishes. Immediately after we were married her mom who hated me... moved in with her brother and her aunt and I had to support them all!! I struggled to pay the bills but every month a huge box of stuff I paid for went to the Phillipines. When I put an end to that things got violent. I ended up divorced (best thing that ever happened) and she married the next guy thta came along got knocked up and put him through the same routine. ALL of her Filipina friends did the same things. NOT some of them...NOT most of them...ALL OF THEM. I'm 44 now and I have a 36 year old Vietnamese GF that is truly an angel... not a deceptive bone in her body! I couldn' love another person more but, I really want to move to VN and leave the US but my GF has been here for 3 years and has the American Dream and wants to stay here... I'm gonna miss her!
Rich
April 21, 2010, 09:02

I agree with Grumpy.
filgirl
October 4, 2010, 22:37

Grumpy,

So sorry to hear your story. That was truly tragic. I've heard similar horror stories too but I think these behavior mostly confine to the poor uneducated citizens.

Well, I don't really know the dynamics of the relationship between a local girl and a foreigner but perhaps you were not discerning enough? Or maybe you were looking at the wrong places.

Grumpy
October 5, 2010, 15:09

Hi Filgirl. Since the only reason a pretty young Filipina (rather her family) would want to marry an old wrinkly from the West is his money we get what we deserve for being naive
Marc Holt
October 7, 2010, 07:43

Filgirl, you hit the nail on the head. You cannot ever find a genuine love in a bar, or in the barrio, or in the slums. I don't care what some people will tell you. In the end, it always comes apart through greed, cultural differences, and oh, did I mention greed?

But even here in Australia greed in women is rampant...and not just the young ones. I finished writing a book about a bloke here, and after he died his 88 year old widow came to me and demanded I pay her 50% of the royalties. Obviously, there is a lot more to this story than I am telling, but that is the gist of it.

After exchanging a few lawyer's letters she finally realized that she had no legal claim. But it has left a nasty taste in my mouth.

The point I am making is that women are the same all over the world. It's their 'nesting instinct'. They will go for the money every time. So why are all you older men surprised when they take you to the cleaners. Wake up! It's your money. You set the rules. And keep one hand on your cock and one on your money!
Grunpy
October 8, 2010, 08:00

Marc. Very bad tempered this morning, aren't we ?

Since the debacle of my Philippine days, I have at least managed to put some of the lessons learned to good effect

My great days in Dalat, six years now, have been in no small part due to me erasing from my mind all thoughts of having a romance again (too old)

Maintaining a friendly disposition to the fair sex, they instantly detect that I'm a harmless old man, full of fun. Desperate to learn my language, they come at me in droves, rarely does a day pass without some gift or other being received . Fruit, cakes, flowers, mostly. I have a draw full of hand made greeting cards thanking me for our friendship

In spite of torrential rain all week, my language club, three classes a night, has been packed to the rafters, full of joy, full of fun, full of laughter. It's walls echo with vivid memories. No-one can take this away from me

If I'm in company, I'm never allowed to pay for my own coffee, or my own food. Most are as poor as Church Mice

By contrast, most other expats in these parts come in on a marital wavelength, quickly finding themselves trapped in a world that they will never understand or accept - kissing the wrong end

To stay chilled out, I do avail myself of sex workers just once a week. In the early days a couple of them came at me with great force for a monogomous relationship. Money, money, money I've no doubt

It got unpleasant when I shook them off. now this community has accepted me as I am

Methinks that retired westeners would be advised to adopt a similar policy, ie, your courting days are over
Insultedpinoyyetenlightened
November 4, 2010, 22:45

i am insulted by your story and your opinions Grumpy, but sadly i do agree with some of them. The thing is, you (not meant to be racist) older western men who come here for love or marriage will most of the time have a bad experience. Sad as it is to admit this, but the thing about foreigners supporting families are true to an extent, but this is not always the case and as for the Filipinas being more desperate; I think you should clear this up. If in fact you are looking for Filipina Girlfiends in beaten down casas or cabarets then you can't expect much can you? They are there because they can't afford to be anywhere else. It's insulting that you only see my country as poor. The Philippines like any other democratic-capitalist country has many different social classes. If in the states it is common sense to avoid slums and ghettos It also holds true here in the Philippines. Take this into consideration : The Filipinas who are SO DESPERATE as to "sell" themselves, their souls to you guys are in fact that... poor and desperate. They come from the slums here... and I can't blame them for milking whatever kindness you showed her and her family. If you didn't want that in the first place... then.... You really should've known better and stayed away for these desperate girls.

Grumpy
January 9, 2011, 16:55

I agree with the comments above. Silly old western men , like me, who "buy" young Philippine girls get whats coming to us. IE a nightmare
Richard
January 16, 2011, 22:26

Instead of marrying a Filipina, it seems much better to simply live with her and if things go bad we can simply go away. It seems to me that a woman who is not married will be more careful to keep her boyfriend happy. Avoiding to buy a house in her name is another way not to lose your shirt.

Your Filipina will certainly wish to marry you instead of simply living with you but you don't have to. There is many single mothers in The Philippines so getting married is certainly not an obligation there.
Miko
May 2, 2011, 00:28

I don't see any comments about Indonesian girlfriends/wives? Any experiences there....?
steve rosse
May 3, 2011, 09:11

"I don't see any comments about Indonesian girlfriends/wives? Any experiences there....?" Christ, this attitude, that this site is some kind of Consumer Reports for guys who can't get laid the regular way, gets real old and stale. Give it a rest, why don't you?
Grumpy
May 4, 2011, 15:25

Personally, I've never been to Indonesia. Met a handful of expats who lived there. They raved about it

No mention of girls though, I don't think romance was on their agenda
Grumpy
May 7, 2011, 08:09

I just looked up the definition of "pompous"

Ergo, "Characterized by excessive self-esteem or exaggerated dignity; pretentious "

Is this you Mr Steve Crosse ?
bill kren
June 27, 2011, 18:41

Grumpy i fully agree with what you are saying.im in the process of seperating from my pinay wife in oz &the threats &anger towards me with her attitude to try and get as much as she can from me.i honestly cant believe i marryd someone so vindictive and evil .i have no doubt if we were living in phils my life would be in great danger now!The worst things here for me were the other older filipinas telling her about her so called rights .Evil manipulative money hungry.this divorce will be filed as soon as is legally possible and when the **** settles will be the best thing ive done since meeting her.just part of my story! Good on you for warning people about the dangers of phillo wives.F or the rest of my life i also will be warning people of them dangers.If i can save one man from going through what i am will be worth it.! be warned
steve rosse
June 28, 2011, 07:16

"the dangers of phillo wives" How about the dangers of the lust-driven ignorance of male vanity. You should warn a few men of that. Wally, you listening?
Grumpy
June 28, 2011, 08:18

Bill

Yes this is a great untold horror story

My e-mail system is full of similar tales, some of them heart breaking

Best is to spread the words of warning
Mark Twain
June 29, 2011, 20:55

It is pretty easy to tell the guys who used to live single in Thailand and for whatever reason were forced back to the sterile, predictable great plains States to eek out an unexciting existence while the old punters are punting up a storm in SEA. They wax poetic about lust-driven ignorance of male vanity. You can see them in Thailand too once they marry and become paragons of virtue.

However I didn't spend all this time learning Thai to fall for a woman from the Philippines. It's not that I like everything Thai. Today my local deli began to stock a dynamite pastrami and the German old guy down the street gave me some of his home made kraut. My pub has great swiss cheese and my wok makes great Rubens. I found a Cambodian who sells Lacoste seconds polo shirts for 130 baht, and my local brothel started running an early bird special with all the ladies from Laos.
Dana
June 29, 2011, 21:12

"I don't see any comments about Indonesian girlfriends/wives? Any experiences there....?" Christ, this attitude, that this site is some kind of Consumer Reports for guys who can't get laid the regular way, gets real old and stale. Give it a rest, why don't you?

Ok, Dana here; I'll step up and take the hit. I don't want to 'get laid' in the regular way. And I don't see anything improper or boring in a Consumer Reports on women other than the girl next door. And I think that this posturing of men that purport to be better than those of us who enjoy holding wonderful women from far away places in our arms gets equally old and stale. Give it a rest yourself. I'm not interested in you or your opinions. I'm interested in . . . oh sweet Jesus, look at that angel over there holding up a palm tree. Gotta go.
steve rosse
June 30, 2011, 00:26

"It is pretty easy to tell..." Except for the things I've said about myself on this site, you haven't given us any great insight into my character. I was single in Thailand, and I was married with children in Thailand. I was also 10, 11 and 12 years old and traveling with my mother in Thailand. But no matter who I was there or who I am here, when somebody expresses immature, selfish, bigoted ignorance I'm going to point out his immaturity, his selfishness and his bigotry. My wife "won" our divorce, but I don't slam ALL Thai women because of it.

"I'm not interested in you or your opinions.' Yes, you are.
Airmail
June 30, 2011, 05:00

Getting laid the regular way? How is that Mr.Rosse, missionary style? I think we have a censor. Like we didn't know it.
Grumpy
June 30, 2011, 08:09

Mr Steve Cross

Are you for real ?

Or a manufactured "plant" to stir things up ?
steve rosse
June 30, 2011, 09:38

"Getting laid the regular way? How is that Mr.Rosse..." Meet a woman, feel a spark, spend some time together, form a connection, have sex. That's the regular way. Paying for it is the irregular way.

Look, you guys don't like somebody questioning the value of the "monger" lifestyle. I get that. It must take an enormous act of will to maintain the self-deception that hanging out in brothels is a normal, adult, constructive use of your time. It must be especially threatening when the kid pointing out the emperor's nudity is somebody who knows the scene at least as well, and probably better, than you do.

But your squeamishness about confronting the sad, pathetic reality of the commercial sex industry does not change that reality. Buying sex in Bangkok is the lowest common denominator. Virtually anybody can do it. Anything that anybody can do has no value. The bars and brothels are full of sad, self-pitying, frightened men spending their life's savings on something millions of women give away for free every day.

Sit down in any bar in the Kingdom and there's a 90% chance the guy on the stool next to yours is going to tell you about how some woman broke his heart and took his money in the divorce and how feminists have ruined everything. He'll tell you Thai women (or Filipina women or Chinese women or Jewish women) are all no good soul-sucking gold-diggers. He'll be fat and pasty and out of shape, or else he'll be the kind of artificially sculpted guy who buries his insecurities in the gymnasium. He'll be pretending he's a bigshot, but he's only wealthy by third-world standards. He'll be half drunk and with each drink he'll get surlier and more bitter. He and his brothers haunt every bar in Nana and Cowboy and Patpong.

I used to get paid to sit in bars and listen to those a-holes. I never challenged their selfish, shallow, greedy philosophies because I had to come back to those bars every week to earn a paycheck.

But nobody's paying me to listen to that crap here. I'll challenge it here. You don't like it, or you don't care what I think, then as I've said a thousand times before, don't read my posts. It's easy enough. Just don't read them.

You know you won't stop reading them. Because you know I'm right.

steve rosse
June 30, 2011, 18:36

"Are you for real ?" I'm as real as a heart attack, Dude. In fact, I represent the norm. My disdain for mongerism is more in line with common thought, across cultures and eras, than your defense of it. My opinions, if stated in the mainstream media, would not be sensational. They only seem inflammatory here in this little rest home for injured male egos.
Novomundo
June 30, 2011, 21:13

Steve Rosse--the all-knowing moralist who knows what cannot be known--what others think and feel. Like so many in the West, Steve wants to proclaim how sad and pathetic mongers are. Some are, some aren't, just as some who are married are pathetic and some are not.
Mark Twain
June 30, 2011, 21:57

I was married three times to western women. Their education ranged from PhD to BA degrees. Two were wealthy and the third middle class. I had sex with all three within 3 hours of our first meeting.

I first came to Thailand when I was 22, 40 years ago. I would have paid prostitutes but there weren't any around so I had sex with regular women. Normally I had sex with them within the first hour I met them.

I am a handsome devil. Women have been chasing me since I could get it up. I mention this not to brag about my virility or good looks but to point out that women are horny creatures without any morals when a good looking woody comes around.

What you consider normal sex is not normal sex for a movie star looks type of guy. I am not saying you are ugly; you may be normal. But if you were handsome, well spoken, educated and wealthy when growing up you would have a different impression of women.

I don't hang around tourist areas in Thailand. I live in an industrial area where ex pats live and work. Mostly oil and gas engineers and pilots. None of them tell sad stories about ex wives. They all have beautiful Thai women at home and at least one or two mia nois and also frequent brothels when a new crop comes in from the North or during college vacations. Chula girls can talk after sex and that is a plus.

If you spent a lot of time in Phuket I can understand your point of view. I have never seen a larger collection of bad attitudes among both Thai and Farang. Phuket makes Pattaya seem up market intellectually.

I am sure your comments are accurate for your little world but there is a whole other world out there that is different. Besides you are hopelessly outdated when discussing Thailand if you have been gone the better part of 10 years.
steve rosse
June 30, 2011, 22:50

"who knows what cannot be known--what others think and feel." Well, if that's the case, then there would be no writing done at all, about anything. If we cannot possibly know what another thinks or feels, how would we communicate with each other at all? You guys seem pretty willing to write your thoughts and feelings here, am I to assume you cannot express your true thoughts and feelings on a keyboard? Or do you just wish I would not respond? Maybe because my responses make you uncomfortable?


"you are hopelessly outdated... if you have been gone the better part of 10 years..." says the guy who begins his comments talking about stuff he did 40 years ago.

GoingPostal
June 30, 2011, 23:14

There is a lot of truth in what Steve Rosse is saying, and some truth in what the others are saying. Sure, it's different for everybody, but just like when we hear someone tell us "she's different" we all really know she really isn't different enough to matter.
Airmail
July 1, 2011, 03:57

"I had to come back to those bars every week to earn a paycheck"
If that's not prostitution I don't know what is.
sisterray
July 1, 2011, 22:38


Hmmmm.

The Thai hooker and the Twain - and never the two shall meet. Usually...

Looking forward to the new book - 'I did what I did many times with many women but now I am different because I was just younger in those days.' S. Rosse - Brass Player.



Grumpy
July 2, 2011, 20:58

So there was your correspondent, about to lob some hand grenades at the Prince of Pomposity (Steve Cross) when I ventured into an anassuming little massage parlour in hot hot hot Nha Trang

Any else think he's an invention ?

It's shop front portrayed women only, common practice in 'Nam so I half expected the old heave ho

But a young girl in the bloom of youth welcomed me in

Things got off to a well trodden path when she insisted that I drop my shorts

The massage was predictably useless, lots of hurried thumping. But then she got down to business very skillfully

Things took an electrifying turn when she whipped off a condom & stripped

Now I'm an old wrinkly, well past my sell-by date, so to say this was unexpected was an understatement

In a lifetime of mongering, only once happened to me before some 30 years ago with a Korean girl in NYC

But then I was young & handsome. Now I'm not, in fact some years ago I disengaged from any form of romance, to the joy of an army of pretty young girls who call me "pa" and the affectionate little masseuses whom I tip once a week

She gave me royal treatment for two hours or more, the last half hour me bringing her off, my arm will ache for a while

No mention was made of money, unique in my experience, but I tipped her $25, all I had

She whooped for joy when I returned with $5 extra

Sure a smile on the face of this 'ol man, hers too

If this transaction was morally wrong then its a strange world that PP inhabits
steve rosse
July 5, 2011, 18:32

As I've said before, as much as I enjoy poking a stick through the bars and watching the monkeys screech and throw their feces, let's wrap it up and agree to pull out this tired old conversation again in six months. That seems to be our schedule.

"If that's not prostitution I don't know what is." Not everybody in the bars earning a paycheck is a prostitute. The bartender is not selling sex, the DJ is not, the woman who cleans the floors, the guy who carries in the beer kegs from the truck, the guy who fumigates for roaches, and the journalist in the corner with his notebook, are not prostitutes. It's the selling sex that makes an encounter prostitution. Glad I could clear that up for you.

"but now I am different..." No, not different at all, except for the extra weight and gray hair. I am just the man I was in 1988 and likely to do the same things, given opportunity. But the fact that I participated on MANY occasions in a low-class, sleazy, depressing, exploitative, dangerous and expensive activity does not mean it's not all those things. And by participating I have not given up my right to call a spade a spade.

"If this transaction was morally wrong..." Go back and look at the comments in this thread. Not once have I mentioned morality. Haven't even brushed up against the subject of morality. Didn't even hint at morality. If you want to discuss the morality of prostitution talk to a priest or Korski. Hell, Korski wrote a whole book defending prostitution's morality. But not me. I really wish you guys would read these comments carefully before you respond. It's not useful if I'm over here discussing practical matters and you're off in an esoteric theoretical discussion of morality.

Next thread, please, and we'll all meet right back here in six months.
Novomundo
July 6, 2011, 07:47

"who knows what cannot be known--what others think and feel." Well, if that's the case, then there would be no writing done at all, about anything. If we cannot possibly know what another thinks or feels, how would we communicate with each other at all?

No, what you say is not true. We project and imagine and draw on our own experiences, as in fiction, all the time. We get "evidence" from asking people what they think or feel, albeit imperfect evidence of a state of mind. But of course it doesn't take much living to see that we are often quite wrong about how others feel or think. And--need I say it--it's damn silly, as we read all the time in fiction, to judge a state of mind by looking at one's eyes, or how the head is canted. At any rate, the pertinent point here is that you, Steve, simply do not know that mongers are "sad" and "pathetic" and "unhappy." Mere projections on your part. Perhaps you have been sad or unhappy after mongering; but clearly this is not the case for many, one can bet.
Grumpy
July 7, 2011, 17:07

" Look, you guys don't like somebody questioning the value of the "monger" lifestyle "

So this isn't a moral, hectoring argument. PP, may I suggest that you invest in a dictionary to better understand the English Language

Teaching you about life could be more difficult

" Something millions of women give away for free every day "

Where did you spend your life ? On the subway ?

So husbands & boyfriends get it for free ? Are you sure ?

That'll be the day

I just wonder how many wives are pleased to hear their husband come through the door

In the same vein, how many wives dream of a little paid for action to liven up their lives ?

The "Belle de Jour" sydrome in the female of the species is a lot stronger than you think

Since you claim to be an afficianado of Shakespeare I just picked up a quote from Macbeth

" It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing "

Maybe Dana was on to something, maybe as "editor from the future" you were around in the Bards day

Airmail
July 7, 2011, 17:11

"It's the selling sex that makes an encounter prostitution. Glad I could clear that up for you."

Look, if you want to be precise and narrow you're right. But in a wider sense when you do something which requires you to use your skills as a writer to "advance prostitution" in the bars then you're prostituting your art for a few bucks. I know you got to eat, to pay bills to maybe support a family, as do bargirls. Read your own words again up above and tell me you didn't prostitute your talents. You turned a blind eye to your values in order to earn that paycheck. What's to clear up?
steve rosse
July 7, 2011, 21:55

"Read your own words again up above and tell me you didn't prostitute your talents. You turned a blind eye to your values in order to earn that paycheck." Oh, HELLS no! Dude, YOU go back and read my columns from the 1990s. Some are published in book form, the rest I can mail to you if you're not afraid to tell somebody your real name. If you think I'm a hectoring moralist here, take a look at what I said back then. The Bangkok Post was the paper that promoted prostitution, The Nation (my paper) was the crusading paper that railed against corruption in any form, including prostitution. To stay in the paper I had to toe the party line, but I believed in the party line. I never confronted the idiots in the bars when I was IN THE BAR, but the following Sunday I spoke the Truth. I said everything I say here, tenfold, but without the mellowing perspective of age. I also made a joke out of Bernard Trink, a man who could have been said to prostitute his writing talent if he had any.

I never, ever, ever, ever EVER used any column or article to advance prostitution. Read the books.
Novomundo
July 8, 2011, 11:27

"I never, ever, ever, ever EVER used any column or article to advance prostitution. Read the books."

Maybe you should have. I see on Stick where Korski says prostitution is the best thing that ever happened to Thailand.
Grumpy
September 2, 2011, 08:33

I just got this through my e-mail channel. Hundreds more like it, so i decided to share one of them with you

" I CAN ONLY GUESS THAT AFTER READING YOUR STORY ABOUT THE PHILIPPINES YOU HAVE HUNDREDS OF REPLYS?????
I MARRIED ONE IN LONDON, THERE OBSESSED WITH MONEY AND JEALOUSY. ON MEETING HER FAMILY I WAS IN SHOCK AT HOW POOR THEY WERE SO I DECIDED TO HELP.
WRONG
12 YEARS DOWN THE LINE THE JEALOUSY AMONGST THE FAMILY THEY DECIDED TO TRY AND KILL ME , SHOTS WENT OVER MY HEAD . I SURVIVED SO FAR.
I NOW LIVE OUT SIDE THE TOWN, BANGUI BAY.. NOW NORTHERN TIP OF PHILIPPINES, ILOCOS NORTE. (DIVORCED IN UK) AND LIVE QUIETLY ON FARM. I'M 65. YOU WOULD THINK I SHOULD LEAVE, BUT THE SEA AND DIVING HERE IS GREAT. SO FINGERS CROSSED AND BULLET PROOF VEST I'M STAYING.
I COULD WRITE A BOOK ON THESE GIRLS BUT DON'T HAVE TIME.
YOURS FAITHFULLY "


Howard Saqui
Fil-Jaz
September 15, 2011, 23:41

Hi Grumpy.. read your story about Filipina and am so sorry to hear about your past experience with filipina women. Anyway, i am a Filipina and currently working in Thailand. What you have mentioned in this thread are true. But generally speaking not all filipina women are like that. Am 34 years old been separated with my filipino hub for more than 8 years. He's an immigrant in US. We been childhood friends since we were 10. Things didn't work out for the two of us. Am 2 years older than him due to drug addiction, i decided to separate with him. No matter what you will do and help a person, an addict will always be an addict. Anyways, my purpose on commenting in this issue is that i just want you to know that not all filipina are the same. i had an american bf who are 20 years older than me. For 2 years, i never ask anything from him till now. We have a constant communication. The first time i met him, i know he's a simple guy not well off to take advantage. But am not a person who needs his money nor any help to be able to step in US. What am after for is a person who has good values and principles in lives and who can be my husband whom i can trust with and love me for who and what i am. For 2 years in a relationship we never tried having "sex" or making love eventhough how much we wanted too. Am not yet annulled and that's one reason why we can't do such thing like making love. I know am religious person and that's not merely my reason for not wanting to have sex with him but because of this stupid philippine law about marriage.

Most women in the philippines who falls under class D or sometimes class C are aftering with foreigners because they do believe that you will be their savior in hardship. You can find that too in Thailand and other asian countries. My only advise to each one of you here who has a traumatic experience with filipina, just be yourself. Be open and never be showy with what you have so that women will not take advantage of you.

Regardless of our culture, our level of education or economic status, at the depth of all of us are the same desiring to love, to be loved, and to be happy. If love is something so fundamentally important to us, then why is it that we have so many issues and misunderstandings in the area of finding it? I think the answer is simple, that most of us have never been educated in this fundamental area of our development. Chances are, you didn’t grow up with parents who were relationship experts, and we certainly didn’t study relationships in our high school curriculums. For most of us, it’s been an adventure in trial and error and learning through pain and heart-break. But is there an easier way? As with material possessions or professional achievements, relationships give our ego a method by which to identify who we are to the outside world. The problem is that we attach so much of our identity to the external appearance of our relationships that we lose touch with the parts of ourselves that are wise and conscious. The attachment to this false identity leads to a feeling of desperation rather than fulfillment. Deep down, we are all really good people. But this doesn’t mean that any combination of two good people will make a good partnership. There is such thing as a bad fit, and it is okay to admit it. The best fits are ones where the most important values for both people are met. They must have life goals that align with one another and have a mutual attraction, understanding, and level of respect for each other. Both people must be committed to making the partnership their top priority. Sometimes, even when we realize that our relationship isn’t a good fit, we justify staying in it with what seem like logical reasons. We may feel that we won’t find another person who accepts and loves us as much as the current partner. Or we may be afraid to be alone, so we simply settle by default. The truth is this perfect person does not exist. More importantly, we may not actually need all of the qualities in a partner to be extraordinarily happy. What we need is to identify the most important qualities that we must have in order to feel satisfied and fulfilled. I wish you good luck and happiness in finding your true love.
Grumpy
September 16, 2011, 15:47

Hi Fil - Jaz

Yes I'm aware of the good side of the Philippines. But my purpose in writing was to deter naive western Grandpas from trying to buy young Asian girls as wives

By the very means of communication they end up with poverty stricken families & end up in a nightmare relationship

As for me, I learned my lessons well. On moving to Vietnam I abandoned all hopes of romance (too oid) & disengaged from alien (to me) Asian culture

These tenets have served me well

I live semi-detached from Vietnamese culture now, connecting via my language club

I now have a very happy life style
Nation
January 23, 2012, 03:36

Hi Steve, you wrote for the "Nation?" I loved that magazine. I read a very interesting article about aids in India and Thailand in it. Maybe you wrote it.
I don't know if it's a fair thing to demonize people who pay for sex though. Not everyone who has a glass of wine is an alcoholic
and not everyone who pays for sex is an exploiter. I realize you have seen some very bad things out there.
Let's remember though that it's the ultra right and corporate greed that we need to fight against and not prostitutes, "mongerers", or prostitution. That's what the Nation helped to teach me.
Yes the sex industry in South East Asia is out of control and has been for many years. The machinations behind that are the ultra right and corporate greed though.
The strangest thing though is that I think prostitution is still officially illegal in Thailand, Viet Nam and the Phillipines. This is a big part of the problem. I'm a firm believer in legalized prostitution as well as legalized controlled substances.
If I can humbly suggest Steve that you are only exacerbating the problem by trying to humiliate "mongers." The Nation helped to teach me to look behind the scenes. It's easy to pick on guys who go to prostitutes. They are usually alone and afraid to fight back anyway.
It's much harder to go after the corporations that are no doubt behind the scenes of much of the corruption that goes on in South East Asia. In fact I would like to see a Nation like article about which global corporations benefit from prostitution in South East Asia.
Prostitution is alive and well here in California. It's like going to Wal Mart. It's the oldest profession after all right? What is relatively new in the span of mankind's time here on earth is the fact that prostitution is a much easier way to make a dollar here in California than trying to exist on the subhuman wage a place like Wal Mart etc. will pay an entry level employee. So, in a twisted sense, supporting prostitution helps the prostitute and society as a whole more than does supporting Wal Mart. You may not agree with most of what I just wrote but the Nation was a big influence on my current philosophy. So maybe you are partially to blame for it.
Peeed off
February 11, 2012, 06:52

Hi

I've been living with a Filipino girl for 9 years - since I was 23. I'm 32 now. We met in the Phils when I was working there as a diving instructor, lived there for a year, then lived in Thailand for two years and now live in the UK. We have two kids together (7 and 2) and are not married. She is a moaning, annoying, dirty, childish hag but I cannnot leave as I am scared she will not look after the kids properly or dump them on her parents in the Philippines. I am actually fairly close to killing her in a very cold and calculated manner I think. Any suggestions of a less severe alternative?

Cheers

Peeed off
Grumpy
February 12, 2012, 08:00

My heart goes out to you. It's always the men who care for their kids that come off worst in nightmare Philippino-Western marriages

In 15 years of contact I never came across one that was any different. In the UK all the Dads, every last one of them, were afraid their children would not be there when they woke up of a morning

Sounds like you two had better split before things get out of hand

Quite right, you understand their culture. She'll dump them on her parents in Phil, then you'll get the dreaded calls "children ill send money"

I'm not sure if it's practical but you'd be better off in Phil. leading separate lives, where you could keep an eye on your little ones
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