Butterfly Bee

In 1997 I was traveling for 6 weeks in Thailand and after 4 weeks I needed a new entry stamp to be able to stay another 2 weeks in Thailand. One way or another I did wake up at The River Side Guesthouse in Lampang. It was the morning after the night that John and I decided that I would go to Luang Prabang in to see the old capital city for a second time and get a new visa on return into . That morning I woke up in my room at River Side Guesthouse in Lampang. I walked onto the terrace to have breakfast in the morning sun looking over the river.

This would be a great day, I pulled up the chair and … that changed not only my day. I do not know how I slept that night. Ok, I drank too much Mekong whisky in the Side Car cafe and I had been dreaming about that lovely girl, but why did I have so much pain in my back? I had breakfast in the sun and took a little rest on my bed, but after 15 minutes I could not get up anymore, I had to scream for help. The musician from the River Side restaurant was at home and he called Lorenzo (she owns the guesthouse). John sometimes calls her Doctor Lorenzo, now I know why. She had the right drugs for my back. Yesterday night I was sitting on my terrace with John, smoking cigars from and listing to old music from the . My visa was almost finished and I always wanted to travel over the Mekong River. So the best ways to do both was going to Cheng Chang, cross the border to and take the boat to Luang Prabang. The boat would take two days, and it wouldn’t a luxury cruise boat. But it would be a beautiful trip and full of excitement.

The first day with the pain in my back I could hardly walk, the second day at least I could walk, but not with a backpack on my back and two day's of traveling on the Mekong River by boat. So I decided that there must be another way to get a new visa for . I would just go to Chiang Mai to the immigration checkpoint at the airport. Because I had never been in Chiang Rai I decided that I would first go to Chiang Rai and from there to Chiang Mai. So the next day I took the bus from Lampang to Chiang Rai. It was a beautiful trip trough the country side of north-Thailand. I was talking with a Thai woman on the bus, and she told me were to get off in Chiang Rai. How could I know that this was Chiang Rai? After three days I decided that Chiang Rai was not the place for me to stay and I took the bus to Chiang Mai. (Bloody hell, I did not know that border town Mae Sai was only 1hr drive from Chiang Rai.)

I arrived in the morning and I took a room in the Cap's Antique guesthouse, where I had stayed 3 years ago. That evening I decided to go to the night bazaar, with a lot tourists and tourists-traps. Walking a long the bars, I took a drink at the Heaven bar, where I did meet Bee. She would change my next to weeks of traveling in . We went to a discotheque and I arrived at my guesthouse at 3 o'clock in the morning. The gate was closed and the guard and his dog where sleeping. I climbed over the gate, took my key from the desk, and watched the sleeping guard in front of the TV. Some guard he is. I woke up at 9 o'clock, had breakfast, rented a motorbike and went on to the immigration office to get a new visa. To get there is not as easy as it looks; all the roads in Chiang Mai are one-way roads. So you really have to think before you go on your way. At the immigration office there were really nice people, but they could only give me a visa extension for 10 days, which would be 8 days too short for me. The man at the office told me the only way to get a one-month visa was by going to , go back to and you have a new visa. It was 10:30 in the morning, at 20:00 in the evening I had a date with Bee and was 300 kms away. The border closes at 18:00. If I would leave now, I could make it. So here started my crazy quest for my holy visa.

I took the bus from Chiang Mai to Chiang Rai (hello again), from there I took the bus to Mae Sai (the border town), there I took a taxi to the border. The border is like ‘telegraph road town’, but then only with Thai and Burmese people, and some farangs who want a new visa. First you go to the Thai immigration to get you pass stamped for leaving Thailand, then you go to the Burmese immigration to get a one-day Burmese visa (for 250 baht). Then you walk across the famous Thai-Burmese friendship bridge and you are in (I refuse to call it ). What could I do in 1 hour? It was 16:45. I walked around in for 10 minutes and walked back to . Just walk to the Thai immigration and… yes, I had my new Thai visa for one month. I took a taxi back to Mae Sai, the bus to Chiang Rai and…. NOT the bus to Chiang Mai. It was dark and the last bus to Chiang Mai had left at 16:00. So I was in Chiang Rai, and I had a room and a date with Bee in Chiang Mai. What would I do? Just take a room here and take the bus tomorrow? Or should I try to take an airplane back to Chiang Mai. At 20:00 the last flight would leave and it was now 19:15. No time to think, a taxi to the airport, buy a ticket and… yes, I made it. I was in the airplane to Chiang Mai and at 20:30 I was in Chiang Mai. At 21:00 I had dinner with Bee at the ‘River Side’ restaurant in Chiang Mai. And I enjoyed being with her. Yes, I enjoyed it too much.

My unsuspected new friend.

It promised to become a beautiful evening. I had dinner at the River Side Restaurant in Chiang Mai and my table companion was the most beautiful Thai girl I had ever met. Her name is Bee, she works in a bar in Chiang Mai. In the next 7 days I would learn to know her, or at least I thought I would learn to know her. Sometimes I loved her, sometimes I hated her. Now I'm thinking, "Is this what is, everything in balance? So there must be sweet and there must be bitter? Like the food, sweet and sour? Is it this, what we western people will never understand?" I had seen this before by other people and I had laugh. Was this now happening to me?

Now you think this is gonna be a story of a farang on sex holiday with a Thai girl. Well, in a way you could be right, but in a way you could also be wrong. Yes, I'm a farang. Yes, Bee is a Thai girl. Yes, we have been sleeping together, but sleeping was all we have done. I know you do not believe me, but I have other values in life then you might think. In all the years I have been traveling in Asia I never did forget these values of life. In short I will tell you her story of her life as she told it to me. True or not? Her parents are divorced, her brother is divorced and another brother died in a car accident (which is not so strange if you look how Thai people are driving). She is 19 years old (or young) and the only thing she thinks she can do is working in a bar. She had her first boyfriend when she was 15; she was almost raped when she was 16. The only thing she is missing from her first boyfriend is fighting with him. She lives in a two room house with her mother, brother, and the child of her brother. They have no telephone, no television, no radio, no air-condition, no hot water, no washing machine, no government who takes care of them. No government to help pay for an education. She thinks she will never be married and that nobody can live with her because she thinks she is like a snake. I think she is a butterfly, that's why I call her Butterfly.

She told me she had never seen the sea. She had been to Bangkok once and that was all she had ever seen of . I still wanted to go to Koh Samui so I asked her if she wanted to travel with me. "Why?" she asked. "Because when you are happy, I'm happy," I answered. Was I telling the truth, or was I falling in love and just wanted her in my bed? I still do not know the answer. The next day we bought (that means I paid) train tickets, Chiang Mai - Bangkok (upper sleeping, air-condition, 612 baht) and Bangkok - Surat Thani. After that she took me on her motorbike to the snake farm just outside Chiang Mai. I was surprised, it was a long way on the highway and we were not wearing a helmet. In Bangkok she would be surprised when she asked me "Why is everybody wearing a helmet?" I think she still does not understand. She loves the snakes; she tells me she thinks she is a snake, beautiful and dangerous. At that time I did not understand, now I do.

In the evening we took the night train to Bangkok. You have your own bed with sheets and all you need. It is clean and good, and the best thing is that drinks and food are sold all time. There is even a restaurant on the train, where Bee made a reservation for us. The food was good & hot. At 9 o'clock everyone starts preparing to go to sleep, as Bee and I also did. In the early morning we arrived in Bangkok. As we would leave Bangkok in the evening we could look around in Bangkok for the day. First we went to my favorite hotel in Bangkok, the New Rotel at the Charoen krung rd. It costs only 565thb, includes breakfast, and you have air-condition and hot water. It is 5 min. from the Chao Phraya River and next to it is the GPO. We had breakfast, took a shower and took a dive into Bangkok. We took the bus to the Wat Po and for the first time Bee did show that she is Thai. For me it was the first time that I saw the respect that Thai women pay to monks. Like to stop walking when a monk is approaching.

Again in the evening we took the train, but now to Surat Thani, where we would arrive at 6 o'clock in the morning. From the train station we took a bus to the car ferry, which takes about 1 hour. The car ferry is a very big old boat that takes you to Koh Samui in about 1 hour. At the car ferry terminal at Koh Samui (which is not at Nathon) there are all kind of taxi drivers who would love to bring us to a hotel. When we were on the boat to Koh Samui I realized that I'm so spoiled. I have seen islands all over the world. I'm 34 years old and I have seen paradise on earth, but simple things like the beauty of Koh Samui can not impress me any more. She, on the other hand, was like a child looking to the sea. She had not been sleeping in the train and was tired, but she would not miss a moment of this trip. And I was sleeping, and bored. Now I realize that I was learning at that time. On Koh Samui we stayed at Chaweng beach, a lot of tourists, but I like it. Our hotel Evergreen (600 baht exclude breakfast), had a restaurant on the beach, and the room was good and new.

As Bee is running to the sea, I realize that I'm not impressed by the beauty of the beach, but by Bee, who wants to drink the seawater. After I explained to her that this is salt water, she still does not believes me. She tastes the water and had to admit that I'm right, "It tastes like salt." Am I the know-it-all falang? That evening we went to the Green Mango, where we met a girl who is also from Chiang Mai. Bee loves to talk with her. She is missing home and she wants to talk Chiang Mai Thai. We had a great evening and at 5 o'clock in morning we went to our bed escorted on the beach road by all kind of katoeys who want to offer me a lift.

Was I falling in love with that beautiful girl sleeping next to me? Or was I missing a loving arm around me?

There I was on a romantic island in with a beautiful girl, and there it was that I realized that I was alone. People around me walking hand in hand, having love (fake or not). I was alone. What was I for her, a walking ATM or a friend? Could a farang ever become her friend? Or would I stay a walking ATM forever? I thought I would be happy, but I was not. Again I was learning. After breakfast we walked on the beach and Bee was totally shocked by what she saw. There was a young German girl topless and wearing a string bikini. That Bee was shocked surprised me. How could a bar girl be shocked by a near naked girl on the beach? Yes, I admit I liked what I saw. The young German girl was a gift of Mother Nature. But shocked? She would like to go swimming, but first I had to buy her a swimming suit, and not the one that I would like her to buy, but a real Thai swimming suit, so you could not see the slightest part of her beautiful female body.

At the end of the day Bee became homesick, or at least she pretended to be. She wanted to go home directly and wanted me to buy flight tickets. As it costs 2000 bath from Koh Samui to Bangkok and 1500 bath from Bangkok to Chiang Mai I told her a little lie. I told her that the flights where all fully booked and that we had to go back by train. When we arrived in Bangkok my lie became truth, all flight where full also to Chiang Mai. This was due to the Asian Games. I brought her to the train station and said goodbye to my Butterfly. I thought I could just turn around and walk into Bangkok, but no, I watched the train leaving and went to my empty hotel room. That night my hotel room was emptier than it could ever be. Having it filled was just a phone call away, but that was not what I needed at that moment. I needed Bee.

When I said goodbye to her she was wearing that beautiful dress I bought for her, and the golden bracelet I bought for her. We were drinking tea; she asked "Can you help me? Can you send me money to live?" I said "Yes, I could, but I will not." How could I say that to that nice looking girl? In her eyes I'm so rich; in my eyes I think she treats me like a walking ATM. And, living in Europe I'm not used to that way of life. Now I look at her picture and think, "What's going on in your mind? Will I ever understand Thai thinking?" Well at the end we both gained a lot, she in gold, and I in experience. An experience I will never forget. I ended up being confused like I had never been before. Confused about what is true and what a lie, confused about my own thinking. Now I'm in Holland and I want to go back to . Why? I feel I lost something in and I want it back. But will I find it in ? How to find something when you do not even know what it looks like? The next week I took my direct flight with China Airline to Amsterdam. Just before I left Bangkok I bought a book called "Hello My Big, Big honey!" It's a book with letters to Thai bargirls; it was good reading in the airplane. I could have been one of those guys writing letters to Thai bargirls. To tell you the truth I even did write a letter and never got an answer. For every western man (and maybe also woman) I can recommend this book to read. It's not a real good book, or maybe not even a book at all, but it will make you think differently, and that's what you will need anywhere in Asia. By the way, I do not think that she is representative of all the Thai people. It's just something that happened to me and other people and that I will not forget. I think I became wiser.

Note on 30 September 2000: At the moment I still have contact with Bee. She still lives in Chiang Mai, and most of the time she lives together with her French boyfriend. She tells me he is not rich and that she really loves him. She also tells me that she is still thinking of money as a very important thing in life. She wants money to take care her family, and when everything is fine with her family she needs no money anymore.

Note on 11 January 2001: At New Year’s evening Bee, her French boyfriend, my girlfriend Si and I had dinner in a Mexican restaurant in Patpong. In February Bee and her friend will return to and they will get married. Even though she has short hair now she still looks like a beautiful girl, but not the shy and unsure girl like before anymore. Did she grow up?

Chang Noi