Fiction

Deals like this don’t happen every day. Well at least not in English speaking countries. Reprinted with permission of the Bangkok Village Daily classified advertisements editor.

Competency levels are an important part of today’s global economy. They are everywhere to include Soi Cowboy and other entertainment venues in Thailand. This is a quick quide if you have enough smarts to ask your next bar fine two questions. First - How much? Second – What’s your current competency level? Then it’s Up 2 U.

Cliches or not, this short list provides some common sense observations about Bar Fines in Thailand.

The Poor Dumb Fucker (PDF) is out there somewhere. He may already be in Bangkok. He might actually be on Soi Cowboy. Whatever? I need him and I need him to put in an appearance in the Tilac Bar damn fast. Like tonight!

Anybody planning something in Bangkok knows FRUSTRATION. In Thai the word 'ning' means nothing. So ‘planning’ to a Thai means ‘plan to do nothing’. Simple when you think about it. Crazy if you’re trying to put something together. What to do? Keep to plan B - ‘U Stand?’

This is one of our foreign correspondents best. Two Dogs Murphy might not be the most pleasing human to look at but he is damn efficient when it comes to these kinds of stories. This exclusive is not about a pack of beer licking lizards. This adventure travel story offers a comparison of the LBFMs and their services in Bangkok and Angeles City in the Philippines. If you know sport fucking is more important than golf in your Southeast Asian vacation planning, then you probably know Two Dogs and you will know why this story is a must read.

The famous VD interview with Ashley, the outspoken and self declared American Sexpatriot, living in Bangkok for one reason. If you’re a poofter or an Anglophile don’t read this one. Others have and they are still e-mailing, texting and calling to complain.

The Village Daily – The opening issue of the Bangkok Village Daily. The Village Daily or VD, as it is better known to its readers, remains a specialized news source for unusual people doing unusual things with LBFMs in warm places. This report gives a brief history of the Village Daily, A Muckraking Piece of Yellow Journalism for Bangkok’s Sexpats, and explains why the VD could publish its hard headed journalism nowhere else but in Bangkok.

Ray and Bryn had been friends for almost 10 years. Bryn and his wife Katherine had moved to the English Midlands from the Welsh valleys when he lost his job at the Port Talbot steelworks. Ray was a metallurgist by education but for some years had worked as senior furnace man operating the huge Cupola melting unit which delivered 12 ton of molten iron every hour to the voracious moulding lines of a large automotive foundry.

In 1921 Somerset Maugham described Penang, Malaysia, as "A pleasant little town, but the stranger finds little to do there, and time hangs heavy on his hands." It's quite a contrast to Bangkok, which is as close to heaven as any man who worships pussy and beer is likely to get.

Tuk Tuk asked me to publish this for him. I have agreed because it paints a vivid picture of a night out with a bar girl. And the tables are turned in a creepy twist!

When a western man falls in love with the Land of Smiles he can carry home with him a reckless determination to return. Michael rolled the dice to hasten the arrival of a new life in Thailand, but the risk he took hasn't been left behind in Ireland. It followed him.

When a western man falls in love with the Land of Smiles he can carry home with him a reckless determination to return. Michael rolled the dice to hasten the arrival of a new life in Thailand, but the risk he took hasn't been left behind in Ireland. It has followed him.

When a western man falls in love with the Land of Smiles he can carry home with him a reckless determination to return. Michael rolled the dice to hasten the arrival of a new life in Thailand, but the risk he took hasn't been left behind in Ireland. It followed him.