Non-Fiction

I know what some of you are thinking. What’s the big deal about moving on from Kindergarten?

Like many others of my generation, I spent a fair amount of my misspent youth watching cartoons. I especially enjoyed those classics made by Warner Brothers. Arguably their most famous character was that “wascaly wabbit”, Bugs Bunny.

To thine own self be true, says a famous father to a famous son, but like many things our fathers press upon us ego identity can be a heavy burden. After half a century of failures and embarrassments self awareness may feel like a stone around a man’s neck. Happily, when the self-loathing begins to crush a man there is a place where he can set down the hated stone and take on instead a light string of braided jasmine flowers. This place is called The Kingdom of Make Believe.

. . . black straps that wrap around the calf.

. . . moosehead slippers with antlers.

This is a true story. One Monday morning in 1995 my wife and I had a big fight, which is how we started every morning. I drove to work and the traffic was horrendous, which is how the traffic was every morning. I walked into the hotel where I was working sticky with sweat and angry at the world, which is how I walked into the hotel every morning.

Through my window unfolds the most unlikely of domestic squabbles. Life, death, feral dogs, ping pong.

It seems so obvious once you’ve spent some time here in Thailand. Farangs are entitled to precisely…… nothing, zip, nada, bubkis.

140 kilometers, 762 curves, 4 hours

I have seen them grown in Thailand, but nowhere else, and not here in Australia

There may have been palm trees along the road to Bethlehem when the Magi were following that star to the manger where baby Jesus was swaddled, but I’m willing to bet they weren’t coconut palms!

Did you know that the prehistoric people who eventually would become the Thais were one on the first groups to smelt bronze? It’s true. At the Ban Chiang archeological site, near Udon Thani, bronze implements have been found that date back to 3400 B.C.

I think it’s safe to say that a funeral isn’t anyone’s idea of a good time. Death may be an inevitable part of our existence, but people don’t especially enjoy being reminded of their mortality. Seeing a casket being lowered into the ground, or consigned to a pyre doesn’t exactly make me want to go out and dance a jig. I know all too well that my expiration date will be here waaaay too soon, and I can honestly say that I’m not overly thrilled at the thought. Oh well, I may be getting older, but I intend to pack as much as I can into what time I have left on Earth. No quietly going into the night for old Sawadee!

Have you ever noticed that Thais are very much like Magpies? By that I mean that no Thai can resist anything that is bright, shiny and above all colorful.