The Complete Foster Foskin's Agony Column

Mr Foskin, I am a reasonably good looking male, recently divorced from a Thai wife, and not ready to settle down again. I am self sufficient, clean my place in about 20 minutes a day, and eat out mostly with friends...

I’m a Thailand based expat for coupla years now and enjoying meself, apart for this nagging issue that seems to spoil the fun a bit.

I have a bit of a sticky problem, ya see me sheila sorta seems to have a dick. Now don’t get me wrong, I ain’t no pillow biter, but geez, she’s hot, gorgeous face, long legs, huge titties, all a man could want except for that thing hanging off the front.

Dear Mr Foskin, my wife and her close friends sometimes use the prefix ‘ee’ when addressing one another, as in ‘ee Tang’, or ‘ee Noi’ etc. The male equivalent of this form of address is ‘ai’.

I’ve been married back home, got divorced, and now I’m married here. You have to wonder what is wrong with me, eh? But I did it, so now I have to live with it.

Foster, Foster! Help me. My public hates me, or loves me, or maybe both. I don’t know what to do. Am I to continue writing for these cretins? Perhaps they are genii (or is that geniuses?) instead.

Dear Khun Foster, I'm Thai, male. My name's Tanes. You say it ‘Tanet’. (please bear with my English). I’m not so sure you can help me, but you know already so much about my country. It’s very impressive for me. You even go traveling a lot than a native like me.

My Pooying wants to be a Khunying. I told her Dhakling, a Khunying is a pooying but a pooying cannot be a khunying unless some of the family comes from Kunming. Was I over sinaifying?

Dear Mr Foster, I am pretty good Thai lady live in Pattaya. I like read your agony column for you teach me so much about farung.

Two blokes hook up with the wrong shielas, and another can't make up his mind who to choose...

Foster is roped in to give advice to the loveworn in his own inimitable style